BILL COSBY Runs For President

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by Davaroo, Apr 19, 2009.

  1. Davaroo

    Davaroo Poultry Crank

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    Leesville, SC
    Here his platform:

    Campaign issue No. 1

    “Press 1 for English” is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.

    Campaign Issue No. 2

    We will immediately go into a two-year isolationist posture to straighten out the country’s attitude. No imports, no exports.

    We will use the Wal-Mart policy: “If we ain’t got it, you don’t need it.”

    Campaign Issue No. 3

    When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.

    Campaign Issue No. 4

    All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border (a six month tour).

    They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

    Campaign Issue No. 5

    Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn’t put nuttin’ in, you ain’t gettin nuttin’ out.

    Neither the president nor any other politician will be able to touch it.

    Campaign Issue No. 6

    Welfare checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40-hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis test and a passing grade.

    Campaign Issue No. 7

    The FIRST time you check positive for professional athletes steroids, you’re banned for life.

    Campaign Issue No. 8

    We will adopt the Turkish method when it comes to crime. The first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There are no more life sentences. If convicted, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

    Campaign Issue No. 9

    One export will be allowed. Wheat. The world needs to eat.
    A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

    Campaign Issue No. 10

    All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we’ll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it’s a worthy cause.

    Campaign Issue No. 11

    The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.

    Campaign Issue No. 12
    The National Anthem will be played at all ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

    In his closing remarks, Cosby apologizes in advance with an upbeat comment:

    “Sorry if I stepped on anyone’s toes but a vote for me will get you better than what you have and better than what you’re gonna get. Thanks for listening and remember to write in my name on the ballot in November.”

    God Bless America!!,
    Bill Cosby
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2009
  2. halo

    halo Got The Blues

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    My Coop
    Where do I go to vote?
     
  3. farmerlor

    farmerlor Chillin' With My Peeps

    Why is there anything about athletes in a campaign platform? Are athletes so important to our nation that we have to vote on how they perform or don't perform? I adore Bill Cosby but only an entertainer would include policies about other entertainers in his campaign platform. As for the rest, I like it.
     
  4. geareduplyn

    geareduplyn Chillin' With My Peeps

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    farmerlor wrote " Are athletes so important to our nation that we have to vote on how they perform or don't perform?"


    Yes
     
  5. TheOLDNewChick

    TheOLDNewChick I'm an original

    Jun 12, 2007
    Tioga, Louisiana
    [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Heck yeah!
     
  6. apukanski

    apukanski Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I would vote for him if, he releases all the little rascals episodes that I used to watch as a kid.
     
  7. Davaroo

    Davaroo Poultry Crank

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    Feb 4, 2007
    Leesville, SC
    I personally love this one:

    Campaign Issue No. 6

    Welfare checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40-hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis tests and a passing grade.
     
  8. digginchicks

    digginchicks Chillin' With My Peeps

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    NO NOT 40 hour school weeks that would be horrible then I would never have time to even see my chickens let alone feed them!

    Never mind that is almost the same as i'm doing right now anyways lol. He wouldnt be to bad
     

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