It may be just that fact that I'm up at 12am and thinking about stuff, or the fact that my cat just possibly had seizure, but I always hate the time around my birthday. Since I was 10 yrs old, someone (or something) close to me dies within 1 week of my birthday. It started with my grandmother, and has included my 2 grandfathers, 2 dogs, a guinea pig, 3 of my favorite chickens (2, one day apart),a parakeet, a cat, and my great aunt. I'm turning 21 next week and am just dreading who it is going to be. I thought it would be my 13yr old cat, but now my younger cat may have had a seizure, so I have no clue. I have celebrated 3 birthdays attending funerals, and hate it. I am naturally overly anxious about everyday life, but this time of year makes me worse. Every phone call I think is to tell me someone has died. Ever siren I hear, I think about who it could be. I know I'm a nut and should just stop thinking about it, but I can't. My birthday bad luck has never failed me for 10 years, now I'm just waiting.