Boy likes Me, I like boy, and so does his girlfriend and the rest of the women pop. what to do?

[the Precious Ladies]

Relationships are complicated. I think we all know that. So here is my complicated relationship, and I would like your opinion on what to do...
Ive known this guy... lets call him Bob... since 6th grade ( I am now a junior). Yesterday, Bob and his girlfriend came over to my house for a pool party. His girlfriend is sweet and nice and quirky. They ve been dating for 2-3 weeks now. Bob tends to fall, and fall hard when he dates someone. During the party his girlfriend recived a call from her parents that she needs to break up with Bob. They decided to tell her parents that they broke up but actually keep going out. His girlfriend then left shortly after. Bob, 2 other friends of mine, and I then went swimming. He taught me how to through a football, and then we all were tackling each other in the water trying to steal it from each other. He choose to be on my team (even though I still sucked at throwing a football) and would still tackle me and pick me up and play around physically. He told me that he could come out during the summer to teach me guitar and hang out. I drove him home and when I got back a friend of mine told me that he had told.. Julia... that if things didnt work out with his girlfriend, then I was his other choice.
Here's the problem:
Julia, who is a good friend, happens to be in love with Bob since 7th grade
Bob has a girlfriend, and a nice one at that
I like him...
So he is probably coming over sometime this week. What im asking is for your opinon. If he asks me to go out with him should I (since I do like him) or would that make me a bi*& for going out with a good friends crush??

 

[Criskin]

I'd hold off and just be friends with him. It isn't just out of respect for your friend (although that is a good reason). Personally, I'd be a bit offended at being "his other choice". Not to mention, if he is dating a nice girl already, and still keeping his options open by flirting with and talking about a potential relationship with you, there is a pretty good chance that he'd do the same to you.

Growing up, I had a couple guy friends who were at one time interested in me but I refused to date because I'd seen the way they conducted themselves in relationships and there was no way I'd let myself be decieved like that. Some guys, no matter how cute or chaming, are best kept in the "just friend" category.

 

[RHRanch]

I'm not sure I would like being someone's "back up plan", I would rather be his first choice.... Why don't you wait for a guy who makes you his first choice?

oh, and yeah - you wait until he's officially done with the other girl before dating him because its the right thing to do, and because by sneaking around on the side with him it makes you his dirty little secret, not his gf or someone he respects.

 

[CluckyJay]

Bob is a jerk for even saying that to someone. You are with someone--you are with them, not someone else. Avoid Bob because you'd be the next one he thought about dumping or cheating on. ;-)

 

[HeatherLynn]

I think Bob is enjoying himself a tad too much and had no business getting even a little physical when he still has a girl friend. Lying to her parents is a bad idea for both of them too but still is that really the type of person you want. Think about it, your his second choice now and you could become his girl friend but how about the line of women behind you. Already, very early on, he is showing that he doesn't mind being just a bit of a player. You need to guard yourself and think this through.

I will preface this with, I am a mom with kids getting close to this age. I am not cool or hip or whatever the heck they call it now. I am practical though and I am very much of the opinion that girls need to look out for themselves and stop playing sucker to guys. 99.9 have one thing on their mind and need to be told to "bugger off." This just really sounds like a recipe for a bit of heartache. I would keep the flattery and enjoy it but walk away from the package. Just a word of advice from someone who has already been there and done that. Just not worth it.

 

[hunter109]

its to much drama for everyone i ant got to list to this i ant in high school anymore and dont like drama

 

[redhen]

Yeah,.. dunk Bob..
He sounds like a player.

 

[Vamvakas]

Bob is the man

 

[shadow rabbit10]

Why would he even think about having a back up plan if he has a GF? Let alone calling you his back up plan. He sounds like he just likes to rack up the girls. I would avoid him if I were you. Plus, he is a liar. I would be really ticked if someone called me their second choice.

 

[Bunnylady]

Sooo, Bob has a girlfriend (hmm, wonder why her parents suddenly want to break them up?) and he can't keep his hands off of you? Red flags! Guys like this are attractive, no denying that, but they're a bit like a kid in a candy store when it comes to girls. I'm with Criskin, it's better to keep this kind of guy as "just a friend;" anything more is just asking to get hurt. I fear Bob is going to break a lot of hearts before he grows up, and you don't want any part of that.