Calling all experianced daters

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by BantyHugger, Jun 22, 2009.

  1. BantyHugger

    BantyHugger Songster

    May 23, 2008
    Ponder
    I used to believe I had pretty good taste in guys. I have and use standards: must be funny, charming *for a teen that is*, attractive, independent thinking and smart. Well I believe i have had my first bad experience with the opposite sex. All the other guys i knew before this one have always been very sweet and brotherly to me. I will tell you now that the ending isn't an atrocity or anything, but it was kind of a smack in the face. I figured this was a family friendly experience that showed misjudgment, if you have any problems with it let me know and i will edit it.

    First i would like to say that I met this guy (we will call him T) threw his brother. Me and the brother are the same age and are friends. The younger brother almost continously told me his brother was good for nothing. Thinking he was just jealous of T or something like that, i just brushed him off. We all ended up in the same class (a competitive math class) and I developed a crush on T. I eventually worked up the nerve to ask him out and he nicely declined. I wasn't upset or anything really, I mean we hardly knew each other. One year after this conversation, T broke his brother's nose. I again refused to believe the worst in T esp. considering how annoying my friend can get. (I like to believe all ppl are nice). Well then when we went to the State competition for math (little bro was unable to make it) we played this game. It was an honesty game where you had to move (like musical chairs) if you had done the thing listed. Well some one said they had never smoked. I moved because when i was about 7 or 8 my cousin, whom i thought was greatness, let me take a puff off of his cigarette. Well the next day we went to the mall where T proceeded to tell me how horrible it is to kiss someone who smokes. "Like licking an ash tray." [​IMG] I mean its not like I'm a little kid and don't know that Cigarettes are bad for me. It was after this that i finally realized how tactless T is. Later i found out that T doesn't let his bro come to his birthday parties. Is that harsh or what?

    The only thing i can think is to listen to my friends more. Does anyone else know of better ways to avoid making these mistakes in judgement? What do more experienced daters look for? How about all the married folk on here? What did you look for and finally find in your spouses?

    -Mariah

    *Edited for spelling
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 22, 2009
  2. Mahonri

    Mahonri Urban Desert Chicken Enthusiast

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    North Phoenix
    My Coop
    First, Listen to your friends.

    Second... You are so young you've got your entire life ahead ofyou.

    I didn't find my sweetheart until I was in my late 20s. I'm so glad I waited to find the right one.

    You know what you want, be what you want and you'll find him eventually.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 22, 2009
  3. okiron

    okiron Songster

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    Sacramento, CA
    Go ahead and make mistakes, you'll know better next time (hopefully). Have fun.
     
  4. chickenbottom

    chickenbottom Songster

    Dec 30, 2008
    hollister, florida
    ide say trust your friends. and be careful not to get hurt knowing i did recently its painful but you just move on. have fun and take your time
     
  5. BantyHugger

    BantyHugger Songster

    May 23, 2008
    Ponder
    Quote:Lolz i know I'm young so it doesn't really matter, but I guess I am just waking up to the fact that the world isn't all great. I'm not to big on this whole "disappointment" thing. Other than this experience I'm still having tons of fun. I've grown up with my grandparents and i guess i kinda like advice. [​IMG] Please no one think I have fallen into a pit of despair over this, I just wanted to tell one of my experiences while getting people warmed up to talk about dating! [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2009
  6. okiron

    okiron Songster

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    Sacramento, CA
    Well let me tell you, before I became a stay at home mom I was working at Walgreens and there was this pain in the butt guy there who's supposed to take over so I could go home every night. He's always been too busy chatting with others to relieve me of my duties so I'd always barely miss the bus (meaning I had to walk the 4 miles to my next bus stop) and he'd always ignore me like I was beneath him so I hated the guy with a passion.

    Somehow I ended up marrying the butthead and gave him a son 5 months ago [​IMG]
     
  7. jjdward

    jjdward How bout them DAWGS!

    May 4, 2009
    Buchanan, Georgia
    As far as I can tell, thats just part of life. sometimes we want what we don't need.
     
  8. simplyscrambled

    simplyscrambled Songster

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    Mar 29, 2009
    These are good things to experience: it helps tune up your 'man picker' !
    I think it's good you have a pattern of 'nice guys' and this was an anomaly! Just be aware that you can be attracted the 'bad boys' and now you know that the nice guys are MUCH better, and 'bad boys' can be cute, handsome, charming, but the 'bad' part is in there for a reason!
    Yep, friends usually see things you can't. Ask them and be open to what they say, so they know they can be honest with you.

    Look out for 'red flags'. And if your gut isn't feeling right about something, it's usually right!

    I recently asked my 20 year old beautiful daughter what characteristics/traits she found important in a boyfriend. (She's had about 10!) and she said, 'Intelligent, artistic, handsome'

    As her 50 year old mama, I thought about it. My answer would be 'communication, trust, mutual support'.
     
  9. Randy

    Randy Songster

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    AR
    I smell sour grapes.
     
  10. simplyscrambled

    simplyscrambled Songster

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    Who me?? Ha, tell it to my 6', blue-eyed, former Marine and Love of my Life! Who, by the way, finished my quail coop recently, and sleeps with an incubator in the bedroom and says the sound is 'soothing' [​IMG]

    I guess my point was that after you've experienced life a bit, certain characteristics in a mate are more important than others.

    What are you looking for? This is for Randy, and the OP. Gotta know what you want so you'll recognize it when you find it...
     

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