Can y'all proof read this for me

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by gaited horse, Sep 3, 2009.

  1. gaited horse

    gaited horse Merry Christmas!

    Aug 14, 2008
    Fernley, NV
    I have to turn this paragraph in tomorow am and I need someone to proof read it.

    Feeding 4-H market hogs
    By Tyler





    When raising market hogs it is important to start of by finding a high protein feed that is made for growing market hogs of that age and weight of your selected pig. Pigs 10 weeks and under should be fed a Starter ration with minimum of 20 percent protein they should be feed free choice at this age. after your pigs reach 70 pounds they should be switched to a grower ration of no less then 18 percent protein and be feed as much as they want for one half of an hour and feed every 2 hrs until they bed down for the night. After they reach a weight of 150 pounds they should be switched to a finisher of no less then16 percent protein and be fed a minimum of three pounds a day and a maximum of 4 pounds a day. After a happy lifespan of six months they reach market weight. Also make sure they always have plenty of water thru there lifespan.




    Notes on market hogs:
    Market hogs normal life span is six months of age or 250-260 pounds.
    Market hogs do best when raised outside unlike the store bought pork they.
    Barrows make the best market hogs.
    It is illegal to feed pigs and hogs raw meat.
    A pig is not a hog until the weight of 100 pounds.
     
  2. saddina

    saddina Internally Deranged

    May 2, 2009
    Desert, CA
    Quote:Check the bolded items.
     
  3. Dread Pirate Roberts

    Dread Pirate Roberts Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 20, 2009
    NorCal
    Edited for content, please review the rules.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 3, 2009
  4. DTchickens

    DTchickens Overrun With Chickens

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    Mar 23, 2008
    Bailey, Mississippi.
    Quote:Check the bolded items.
     
  5. ArizonaNessa

    ArizonaNessa Joyfully Addicted

    1,798
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    Apr 7, 2009
    Texas
    There is no space between the word "then" and the number 16 in the 6th or 7th line.
     
  6. gaited horse

    gaited horse Merry Christmas!

    Aug 14, 2008
    Fernley, NV
    what do you think of it know thanks for your help. what do you think of it know.

    When raising market hogs it is important to start off by finding a high protein feed that is made for growing market hogs of that age and weight of your selected pig. Pigs 10 weeks and under should be fed a starter ration with minimum of 20 percent protein they should be feed free choice at this age. after your pigs reach 70 pounds they should be switched to a grower ration of no less then 18 percent protein and be feed as much as they want for one half of an hour and feed every 2 hrs until they bed down for the night. After they reach a weight of 150 pounds they should be switched to a finisher of no less then 16 percent protein and be fed a minimum of three pounds a day and a maximum of 4 pounds a day. After a happy lifespan of six months they reach market weight. Also make sure they always have plenty of water.




    Notes on market hogs:
    Market hogs normal life span is six months of age or 250-260 pounds.
    Market hogs do best when raised outside unlike the store bought pork.
    Barrows make the best market hogs.
    It is illegal to feed pigs and hogs raw meat.
    A pig is not a hog until the weight of 100 pounds.
     
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2009
  7. sweet tweets

    sweet tweets Chillin' With My Peeps

    144
    0
    99
    Jul 3, 2009
    I hope this helps...

    important to start of by finding

    would be better stated as "impotant to start by finding...
    (off is not needed and spelled incorrectly
    Pigs 10 weeks

    = Pigs ten weeks

    after your pigs reach 70 pounds they ]

    Capitalize After and change 70 to seventy

    Change all "numbers" to words. 20 should be twenty...

    This phrase
    After a happy lifespan of six months they reach market weight. Also make sure they always have plenty of water thru there lifespan.

    is awkward. Why add the water comment here like it is an afterthought? Put it in the body where it belongs.

    no less then

    should be no less than

    percent protein they should be feed free choice at this age.

    should be two sentences: ...percent protein. They should be feed free choice at this age.

    Many of these issues would be found in a word processor/spell check application.

    I must add, your topic and information are great. The presentation needs work to meet English language conventions. Hope this helps... There may be other things, but I am headed to bed and just pointed out items that were quickly obvious to me.​
     
  8. sweet tweets

    sweet tweets Chillin' With My Peeps

    144
    0
    99
    Jul 3, 2009
    When raising market hogs it is important to start off by finding a high protein feed that is made for growing market hogs of that age and weight of your selected pig. Pigs 10 weeks and under should be fed a starter ration with minimum of 20 percent protein they should be feed free choice at this age. after your pigs reach 70 pounds they should be switched to a grower ration of no less then 18 percent protein and be feed as much as they want for one half of an hour and feed every 2 hrs until they bed down for the night. After they reach a weight of 150 pounds they should be switched to a finisher of no less then 16 percent protein and be fed a minimum of three pounds a day and a maximum of 4 pounds a day. After a happy lifespan of six months they reach market weight. Also make sure they always have plenty of water.

    When raising marketh hogs, it is important to start by finding a high protein feed that is made (or intended) fo r growing market hogs to the age and weight of your selected hogs. [note: I am confused by the swapping of the terms hogs/pigs, consider revising]Pigs ten weeks and under should be fed a starter raton with a minimum twenty percent protein. They should be fed free choice at this age. After your pigs reach seventy pounds, they should be switched to a grower raton that consists of no less than eighteen percent....


    srry but you are on your own for the end...

    edited to correct my own mistakes - good luck...​
     
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2009
  9. DTchickens

    DTchickens Overrun With Chickens

    4,394
    33
    253
    Mar 23, 2008
    Bailey, Mississippi.
    Quote:would be better stated as "impotant to start by finding...
    (off is not needed and spelled incorrectly
    Pigs 10 weeks

    = Pigs ten weeks

    after your pigs reach 70 pounds they ]

    Capitalize After and change 70 to seventy

    Change all "numbers" to words. 20 should be twenty...

    This phrase
    After a happy lifespan of six months they reach market weight. Also make sure they always have plenty of water thru there lifespan.

    is awkward. Why add the water comment here like it is an afterthought? Put it in the body where it belongs.

    no less then

    should be no less than

    percent protein they should be feed free choice at this age.

    should be two sentences: ...percent protein. They should be feed free choice at this age.

    Many of these issues would be found in a word processor/spell check application.

    I must add, your topic and information are great. The presentation needs work to meet English language conventions. Hope this helps... There may be other things, but I am headed to bed and just pointed out items that were quickly obvious to me.​

    Shouldn't some of the "feeds" be "feds"? May just be me that thinks that and i'm wrong but it's what i always thought [​IMG]
     
  10. Eggs4Sale

    Eggs4Sale Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 29, 2009
    Quote:Never abbreviate if it can be avoided, and never write the numbers as numbers unless the number is large. Ten, not 10. If you were to read this paragraph to someone and you had slight pauses, as normal speech does, then you could hear where you may need a comma here and there. I won't go into comma rules or I'll put myself to sleep. Hope this helps!!!
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2009

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