chicken drama. need advice.

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by ficklchickens, Mar 10, 2015.

  1. ficklchickens

    ficklchickens New Egg

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    i feel like i am just being dumb to some degree but at the same time i think im right.
    so, my father in law wants to get chickens but his wife wont let him. which i dont understand cuz she doesnt do anything outside anyway so i dont see how they would bother her (or anyone for that matter, haha theyre so cute :) but its whatever, like theyre choice i dont have to understand her reasoning.
    BUT he then just assumed id be ok if he just got some and stuck them in our coop. we have a small flock which is perfect for our situation right now, we dont have a finished yard or fence and our coop can only hold four chickens. he says he will HELP, so not pay in full, for the food. but i would be doing all of the cleaning and feeding and care which yes is fairly easy but can still get tiresome... especially because i have kids and i am pregnant. theyre not really old enough to be much help haha. so its basically 100% my responsibility and he wants half the eggs.... ???? am i being stupid... hormonal maybe? i dont know. someone back me up. or help me be ok with it. i dont want to be rude and tell him no and state it like that cuz i dont want to be rude then change my mind later. oh and we would have to build a bigger run... which i already know he is not willing to help with.
     
  2. Pyxis

    Pyxis Hatchaholic Extrordinaire Premium Member

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    No, I agree, it's not fair to saddle you with all the work and assume that he can just pay half the feed and that will be that. Plus, by introducing new birds you'd be risking adding diseases to your healthy girls that could lead to death or to them carrying something nasty for the rest of their lives. That's not fair. That could be avoided if he got chicks straight from a reputable hatchery but then who's raising the chicks? You again? And what if one of them turns out to be a rooster? Can you have a rooster? Will it be your problem to get rid of the rooster if you can't? Would you even want to keep it if you could have one? And then if he wants half to eggs I assume he wants the same number of birds as you, which effectively doubles the workload. And he better not be thinking he can get a breed that lays badly like silkies and then still have half the eggs, because his birds wouldn't be laying half the eggs. So in my opinion, you are definitely not overreacting.

    Maybe explain all these things to him, and inform him that if he wants to do this, he needs to expect to pay for half the food AND he needs to be willing to do half the work, like clean the coop out every other time, etc. Or he needs to be willing to pay you to compensate for the time you're spending taking care of his birds, if you're even willing to take on the extra work. Or he buys half the food but only gets a quarter of the eggs and the other eggs are to compensate you for the fact that you're doing all the care.

    Or, if you really don't want the extra birds, maybe just say no and explain the above things as reasons why. Any reasonable person should understand, especially with you being pregnant and having kids.
     
  3. lazy gardener

    lazy gardener Flock Master

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    I have several things to say: First off, where is your husband in all of this? Have you explained to HIM how you feel? I hope that the two of you can work together to explain to your FIL that his assumption is not going to fly for you. It would be one thing if you had a big coop, if you actually wanted the responsibility of taking care of more birds, and if you OFFERED to do this for him. HELLO??? You have a young family who has you on call 25/8/366 (No, these are not typos!) Now, add all of the care involved in raising and integrating new birds into a coop that is not designed to handle that many birds, the risk of disease, all of the extra water and feed you'll be lugging, (don't forget that you get to lug the feed home from the feed store, then out to the coop too. The extra shavings, the extra poop to be shoveled. Oh, don't forget, you'll be gathering twice as many eggs, washing them, packaging them... Oh, I do hope your FIL will come by to pick them up, and you'll not have to deliver them. Now, how much extra time will this take away from taking care of your home, young children and the needs of a new born?

    Honey, you will not be rude if you explain to your FIL that you cant take on this task. You can do it with love, but, still stand your ground. You have your hands full, you have a family to care for. You have a little flock that is meeting your needs, and I presume that you enjoy those birds as well. If you raise birds for your FIL, I have a feeling that resentment will cloud your enjoyment of your flock, and also it may also cloud your relationship with your FIL, and perhaps even your husband if he's not supporting your needs in this area at this time. Stand firm.
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. dawg53

    dawg53 Humble

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    Let your FIL read this!
     
  5. 3goodeggs

    3goodeggs pays attention sporadically

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    [​IMG] I try to avoid drama... but geeesh.

    First, When women get upset about unfair behavior, why are we programed to assume it is hormonal? And our fault?

    I have half the chickens that I had when I started, and they are not half the work, they are 1/4 the work.
    Tell him to build a coop and if his wife doesn't want it, then he can deal with her hormones
    .
    Sweetheart, you have enough to do without assuming anything else is your problem.
    I remember being pregnant. I remember thinking this must be how it feels to be a walrus on dry land. Everything took much more effort that it should have.
     
  6. HOLWACHAGOT

    HOLWACHAGOT Out Of The Brooder

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    FIL has lost his mind....smh
    Holwachagot
     

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