child adoption

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by M.J, Apr 28, 2008.

  1. M.J

    M.J Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Apr 15, 2007
    Maryland
    okay im doing a project on child adoption and am wondering if any of you have or were adopted.
    what experiences did you have with it.
    was the prosecc long and hard what did you need to do for it, if you could answer me that would be great

    am doing a speach on it and would like first hand experience

    was intrested in this topic for my cousin gave her baby up for adoption and she takes joy from getting letters and pic from the adoptive family of how he is doing. she new they would give him a stable life with oprotunities and love.
    its amazing to see his pic with them for they look alike. that he knows that he was adopted and that he was given up because she loved him and wanted the best for him and if he ever wants to meet her he can
     
  2. Henrietta23

    Henrietta23 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Oct 20, 2007
    Eastern CT
    M.J :

    okay im doing a project on child adoption and am wondering if any of you have or were adopted.
    what experiences did you have with it.
    was the prosecc long and hard what did you need to do for it, if you could answer me that would be great

    am doing a speach on it and would like first hand experience

    was intrested in this topic for my cousin gave her baby up for adoption and she takes joy from getting letters and pic from the adoptive family of how he is doing. she new they would give him a stable life with oprotunities and love.
    its amazing to see his pic with them for they look alike. that he knows that he was adopted and that he was given up because she loved him and wanted the best for him and if he ever wants to meet her he can

    I'd be happy to share my story with you. We adopted my son 5 years ago. I will share it by pm or email. You can let me know your preference by pm if you'd like.​
     
  3. FutureChickenMan

    FutureChickenMan Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Oct 29, 2007
    We're in the process of adopting our first child. We have custody but the paperwork isn't finalized. Ask all the questions you want, I'll answer them the best I can.
     
  4. M.J

    M.J Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Apr 15, 2007
    Maryland
    thanks guys
    okay future chicken man
    how did you come to decide to foster and than adopt if i may ask you don't have to answer if you don't want to
    what is the process like
     
  5. vicki2x2

    vicki2x2 Super Chick

    Feb 9, 2008
    Central Michigan
    My youngest two children were adopted, our oldest two are biological. It was the most amazing experience and I would adopt a dozen more if I could!!

    What would you like to know?
     
  6. John T

    John T Out Of The Brooder

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    Feb 3, 2008
    SE, IA
    My wife and I have just finished Foster/Adopt classes and are getting licensed for 5 children:eek:. Hopefully not all at the same time. We did 5 in case there are any sibblings needing placed:).
     
  7. M.J

    M.J Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Apr 15, 2007
    Maryland
    what was the process like was it hard to be aproved. than what was the begining of your relation ship with your adopted child

    where did you adopt from was it and in country or out of country and why


    thanks
     
  8. M.J

    M.J Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Apr 15, 2007
    Maryland
    what where the classes like
     
  9. FutureChickenMan

    FutureChickenMan Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Oct 29, 2007
    M.J :

    thanks guys
    okay future chicken man
    how did you come to decide to foster and than adopt if i may ask you don't have to answer if you don't want to
    what is the process like

    We decided to adopt after the doctors told us we couldn't have kids of our own. It's not so much a foster care then adopt. When you adopt typically there is a time frame where you have custody of the child as a guardian on behalf of the adoption agency, then once all the legal stuff is done then the child is officially yours. In our case, the baby's father cannot be located so the adoption agency has to attempt to contact him by placing notifications in the newspaper. If the father doesn't respond to the notifications after a certain time frame, then his parental rights are terminated on the basis of abandonment.

    The process can be different for every adoption. In our case, we're doing an open adoption. We know bio-mom and family. We've spent probably 40 or 50 hours with them before the baby was born. Bio-mom will have the right to see (in person) baby 3 times per year and will get letters/pictures from us. Bio-mom also has our phone number so she can call us and check in. From what we've been told (by the adoption agency), during the first year bio-mom will usually be in close touch. Then once she's convinced the baby is in good hands and being well taken care of, bio-mom's contact will be less and less. We've seen it a little already. Our bio-mom use to call us every other day when baby first came home. But lately she's only called once a week.

    We chose to adopt locally because there are kids here (in the USA) that need homes just as bad as those in other countries. All that hooplah you hear about overseas kids being easier or less expensive to adopt is nonsense. Don't believe it, it's just not true. The overseas kids that are less expensive (I really hate to phrase it that way) to adopt are what are called "special needs" kids. In other words, they have medical needs/disabilities. But if you want a healthy kid, overseas isn't easier or cheaper especially considering all the "incidentals" (airfare, hotels, etc etc)

    The waiting list; you'll hear a lot about being on a waiting list forever and a day. Well in our area, it's just not so. We turned in our final paperwork to get on the list in early December. We were picked by Bio-mom in the middle of January. (with open adoptions typically the bio-mom picks the family the baby goes to) Baby came home with us on April 8th, he'll be legally free (meaning the bio-parents have no legal claim to him anymore) on May 20th. Once May 20th rolls around the bio-parents cannot get him back, ever. (Different states have different rules on this) The average wait on the list in our area is 6 months.

    When it comes to costs, again each case is different. Special needs kids usually get some grants/govt funding/assistance of some sort. For instance, because we don't know where bio-dad is the newspaper notifications will cost us an extra $800. It also depends on the healthcare system in your area (does state pay for birth?), depends on bio-mom's situation a lot. In our case, bio-mom has insurance and the state picks up the remaining costs that the insurance didn't cover.

    We chose a private agency rather than one of the state agencies, because, well, we like to keep stuff local and hate dumping money in to the coffers of the Govt. The cost of private agency to state is comperable. Typically, most adoptions of single children will run in the neighborhood of $15-20,000.

    The experience is something I cant really explain. Excitement when you're picked, apprehension when you're waiting for the adoption to close, compassion for bio-mom, fear that you'll "do it right", etc etc. It's a great experience no doubt, and I would certainly advise people to adopt.

    The process forces you to open up and be more accepting of the people around you. Bio-moms aren't perfect; some have drug problems, some have domestic violence problems, some are just kids themselves, some have disabilites, etc. Although bio-mom may not be perfect, she made the right decision, the perfect decision to give her child to a caring family instead of aborting.

    As a side note, three weeks after bio-mom picked us to raise her baby, MrsChickenMan got pregnant. Shows you what doctors know, I guess that's why they "Practice" medicine.​
     
  10. Carolina Chicken Man

    Carolina Chicken Man Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Mar 29, 2008
    Raleigh, NC
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    This is Rachel, the "Carolina Chicken Girl", at Easter. She turned 4 on March the 10th. My wife and I tried many cycles of invitro, but it never worked out for us. I didn't think that I wanted to adopt, I figured that if we could not have children, perhaps God had a different plan for our lives. I know now that his plan was for me to be Rachel's dad.

    It was a completely private adoption. My mother in law is a school teacher, and one of the people she worked with knew a college student who was expecting in 3 months. We met her, and she said that we could adopt her baby. We talked to a lawyer, and found out what we needed to do, but we could not get in touch with the young lady again. She wouldn't return our call, and we figured she changed her mind, or did not like us.

    I was out of town on business, and my wife called me first thing in the morning, and said the phone rang at 3 in the morning, and a friend of the young lady said that she wanted to know if we were "still" going to come and get the baby. My wife was able to be there for the delivery, but I did not get there in time. The law firm had the adoption papers at the hospital the next day. We still had to complete a home study, and the law firm recommended that the baby go to a foster home, until that part was over. You see, the 3 day period that a birth mother can change her mind in NC would not begin until she received a copy of our home study, and because we were not able to contact her again, we hadn't already done that. There was no way that we were going to let her out of our sight, so we took the chance. Three days later we brought her home, no nursery, no clothes, nothing. But, our family rallied around us, and everything turned out great.

    Some of you may be surprised that I would be so public about this, but I can honestly say, that I don't think there is anything in my life that I am more proud of.
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2008

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