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Child of divorce-I HATE switching houses!

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by eenie114, Mar 19, 2011.

  1. eenie114

    eenie114 Completly Hopeless

    All right, so my parents divorced when I was a baby, and I don't remember them being married at all. My earliest memory is going to daycare while my mom worked.
    Switching parents and houses is THE hardest thing ever. It's gotten to the point where I dread visiting my dad because it means switching houses- twice! When I go to Dad's, it's so quiet it's creepy, and when I go back home, it seems so loud my head will split. My stepsiblings seem to regard me as some odd space creature that visits every once in a while and disrupts their life. It's going to get harder, as my dad is going to legally adopt my stepsister soon.
    Once I get back home, it takes me a few days to get back in the swing of things, which really irritates my mom. I don't always remember EVERY animal chore that needs done, and those chores are mine and my sister's. So she starts ranting about how bad visitation is for my character and what an awful parent my father is, etcetera. Which, in turn, irritates the life out of ME. I ask for chores at my dad's. All I get is "Will you feed the dogs, sweetie?" If I ask my stepmom: "Nope, I've got it." I'd just start doing SOMETHING on my own, but I don't know the system, and if I screw it up, I get eyerolls from stepsis. And asking my dad for a job to do makes it worse with my stepsiblings. I think they think Dad plays the favorites game. He once told me, "Your stepmom says I think you walk on water." When I tell him that I really am only human, he says, "My dear daughter, have you seen your competition?" All in fun, of course, but he won't quit! I've asked him to. No change. He THINKS I'm an angel because at his house, there's NOBODY to aggrivate me! He's usually asleep (night shift), my stepmom is sleeping or working, stepsibs in school. It's impossible to lose my temper when there's nobody to yell at.
    And then there's the social-misfitness of it all. My stepbrother is your average, anti-social, video game playing teen. My stepsister is your average miniskirt wearing preteen who's favorite word is "Duh!" I am... Well, look at my signature. I'm the nerdy girl.
    I was wondering.... Are there any other people on here who deal/have dealt with this? How do you/did you cope?
    Sorry to vent. I just needed that outta my system.
    Evelyn
     
  2. RAWR

    RAWR Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 26, 2009
    who wants to know?
    aw, i feel ya' missy. My parents split when I was four. I do have memories of them being married, but their really bad ones like them fighting and throwing things at each other and other things that still bug me. My parents are happier without each other though.
    I make a switch every other weekend and in the summers every other week. I'm the only child with my dad, but I have a half brother with my mom and her new hubby (my step-daddy).
    My dads house is really quiet and kind of boring, But I'd pick that any day rather then the nut house I call my moms. Everything at my dad's is so peaceful, and quiet and its just really chill there. My mom's house is crazy and noisy and there is always 100% of the time something happening. which is fun for a while.
    My mom seems to play favorites with my brother and I. If I get grounded, I'm grounded. If Kameron gets grounded, he picks when he gets ungrounded. Like if hes grounded from the Wii, he'll just go over and start playing on it, my mom will say "Get off of that!" and he'll say no. And thats that. If I did that I would be slapped. And grounded even longer. She tells me go away all the time and I feel like I have nothing in common with her. My dad however, I could talk to him about anything. And I have so much in common with him.
    I don't forget my animal chores though. Cuz after a while I look forward to going back to my critters and taking care of them again.
    My brother is an annoying soon to be preteen who can't look away from the Wii and I am the eyeliner wearing, skinny jean sporting, random-est, most rebellious, colorful, creeperist, bleach blond there is. I do things that people look down on, and say things that I really shouldn't but I dont care.
    But If you want something to help cope with it all, talk to people about it, blog about it, something. Or just take a walk and think about everything and maybe talk to yourself about it. As long as you can get it out in the open somewhere, sometime.
     
  3. eenie114

    eenie114 Completly Hopeless

    Quote:Oh, believe me Kenndey, it's not that I don't WANT to do them. It's that it's difficult to keep track of them all after I've been away for a while. Cows and sheep and goats and chickens and cats and dogs and a duck! [​IMG] All needing food and water and clean pens.
    And I do actually enjoy the animal chorse, but again, it's hard to remember them all. I just wish my mom would quit bashing my dad, because I really do love both of them, even if they hate each other.

    It's nice to know I'm not alone in this. [​IMG] PM me if you ever wanna swap divorce ''horror stories'' or need to cry/vent.
     
  4. RAWR

    RAWR Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 26, 2009
    who wants to know?
    Quote:Oh, believe me Kenndey, it's not that I don't WANT to do them. It's that it's difficult to keep track of them all after I've been away for a while. Cows and sheep and goats and chickens and cats and dogs and a duck! [​IMG] All needing food and water and clean pens.
    And I do actually enjoy the animal chorse, but again, it's hard to remember them all. I just wish my mom would quit bashing my dad, because I really do love both of them, even if they hate each other.

    It's nice to know I'm not alone in this. [​IMG] PM me if you ever wanna swap divorce ''horror stories'' or need to cry/vent.

    yea, I can see how having a ton of critter chores can be hard to remember
    If anything maybe writing down what you have to do helps?

    and ok, i'll keep that in mind [​IMG]
     
  5. eenie114

    eenie114 Completly Hopeless

    Quote:Oh, believe me Kenndey, it's not that I don't WANT to do them. It's that it's difficult to keep track of them all after I've been away for a while. Cows and sheep and goats and chickens and cats and dogs and a duck! [​IMG] All needing food and water and clean pens.
    And I do actually enjoy the animal chorse, but again, it's hard to remember them all. I just wish my mom would quit bashing my dad, because I really do love both of them, even if they hate each other.

    It's nice to know I'm not alone in this. [​IMG] PM me if you ever wanna swap divorce ''horror stories'' or need to cry/vent.

    yea, I can see how having a ton of critter chores can be hard to remember
    If anything maybe writing down what you have to do helps?

    and ok, i'll keep that in mind [​IMG]

    Not easy at all. But writing it down is a good idea, thanks. [​IMG]
     
  6. RAWR

    RAWR Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 26, 2009
    who wants to know?
    anytime ^_^
     
  7. Urbanfarmerkc

    Urbanfarmerkc Chillin' With My Peeps

    621
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    Apr 10, 2010
    Raytown, MO (BY KCMO)
    After you get to a certain age you can say for yourself where you want to live. I would have to say you are better off asking your parents to let you stay in one place for a longer time. Maybe spend the school year with one parent and summer with the other. Depending on your situation and how your relationship is with your parents, you might be able to have a family meeting with them and have them help you figure out what is best.

    Good luck,
     
  8. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    Let this thread be an eye opener for all parents with mixed families. Start listening to your kids, or actually talk to them to see how they feel. And NOT punish them for being honest.

    This thread solidifies my decision to raise my son alone after our divorce. I know there times where it does work, but for the most part step families are damaging.
     
  9. hollymh

    hollymh *A Scrambled Egg*

    1,982
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    Feb 8, 2009
    Texas
    My parents divorced when I was 12 [​IMG] It was awful, things didnt happen the way they were "supposed" to. The best advice I have is to speak with your parents, ensure there is good communication and express your frustration, they won't understand unless you make sure they do. Best of luck to you [​IMG]
     
  10. classicsredone

    classicsredone Chillin' With My Peeps

    967
    5
    121
    Jan 6, 2011
    Sacramento County, CA
    Mine divorced when I was 10. I can understand where you are coming from. I read that most parents talk to their teens on average about 1-2 minutes a day. Sad, but I'm sure it is true. I lived with my mom and step-dad during the week, and every other weekend. My step siblings would come every other week. I used to get ticked that the got the same allowance (which was hardly anything), even though they were there half the time and did half the chores. Keeping up with the dog, cats, goats, rabbits, and horse was a lot for two kids, and I felt like we deserved allowance based on the amount of work. I got picked on non-stop there, too. The three of them would gang up on me because I was different. I was into art, poetry, and nerdy stuff.

    My dad's house was soo boring. He didn't know how to relate to kids. He took us some place every weekend at first, and then it just stopped. I would cry myself to sleep over there because there was nothing to do, and I hated being there. I resented my parents telling me "If you don't behave, you're going to your dad's house!".

    I can talk to them as an adult now and they understand how I felt then, but it was seriously hard to get through to them back then. I know that it stinks, but it WILL get better.
     

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