Children

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by Frizzledhen, May 27, 2008.

  1. Frizzledhen

    Frizzledhen Spear Gunnin' Coons

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    Feb 17, 2007
    Michigan
    GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN) To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was DON'T !' 'Don 't what ? ' Adam replied. 'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.' God said. 'Forbidden fruit ? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! ' ' No Way! ' 'Yes way ! ' 'Do NOT eat the fruit ! ' said God. 'Why ? ' 'Because I am your Father and I said so ! ' God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked ! 'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? ' God asked. 'Uh huh,' Adam replied. 'Then why did you ? ' said the Father. 'I don't know,' said Eve. 'She started it! ' Adam said. 'Did not ! ' 'Did too ! ' 'DID NOT ! ' Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you ?

    THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !
    1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
    2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
    3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
    4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said
    5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own
    6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

    ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day

    AND FINALLY:
    IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: 'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!
     
  2. wegotchickens

    wegotchickens DownSouth D'Uccles & Silkies

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    Jul 5, 2007
    Sevier County, TN
    Currently living with #3 [​IMG]
     
  3. Guitartists

    Guitartists Resistance is futile

    Mar 21, 2008
    Michigan
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    Ain't that the truth!!!!!!

    I like that childproofing line... [​IMG]
     
  4. tiffanyh

    tiffanyh Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 8, 2007
    Connecticut
    I never feel that way about my children---Wait---Im Lying! [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  5. Buff Hooligans

    Buff Hooligans Scrambled

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    Jun 11, 2007
    That's why I don't have any. And trust me, it's better for EVERYbody that way.
     
  6. Dutchgirl

    Dutchgirl Not Dutch!

    Apr 1, 2008
    U.S.A.
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  7. NixNoodleNumbat

    NixNoodleNumbat Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 1, 2011
    Australia
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  8. SmartyChick

    SmartyChick An Official Milkmaid

    Oct 19, 2009
    Sullivan County NY
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    as an older kid now, I have TONS of respect for my parents for not killing me!
     
  9. country freedom

    country freedom Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I have to have my oldest daughter read this!
     

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