Christmas = family = I want out

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Debbiesflocks, Dec 23, 2011.

  1. Debbiesflocks

    Debbiesflocks Chillin' With My Peeps

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    So i cant really stand most of my family. I would almost say i hate them. I even give them a fake phone number when they ask for my number. I only care for a couple people in the family and they are the only ones who know my number and they know not to give it out. I all ways tell them if the other family asks (and they do) to tell them i have died. Every year we get together at the old family farm for a gift exchange. I have decided to ditch them all this year and spend Christmas with some other family members. We want to have a nice quit peaceful Christmas. I told the other family back in November i would not be attending for Christmas this year. I brought it up to them today and now they seem mad. I told them i will make a short appearance for the gift exchange but i would not be staying for turkey and pie. I still bought gifts for them but to tell you the truth i really don't want any thing from them. i take that back the only thing i want from them is to be left alone where i can enjoy my Christmas. Would it be rude to just ditch them all and not even attend the party. I love Christmas and like giving gifts. Its just this side of the family drives me nuts.
     
  2. PamB

    PamB Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jul 20, 2010
    Dayville, CT
    I think that if you "hate" them, you shouldn't go. Maybe they would think that was "rude" but if you feel that strongly about it, I say skip the party. Enjoy Christmas and gift giving with those that you care about.

    Quote:
     
  3. citychickx6

    citychickx6 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I do not think it would be out of line at all.
    You told them you were not attending. They decided to be upset by that. Yes being upset is a decision people make.

    My mother did not invite us for Christmas this year. She finally gets it that I will not attend when the others are there. Instead we are getting together tomorrow. Just her and I for lunch. Nice and quiet.

    It may take some time for them to "get it" but you need peace as well.

    I don't even like some of the people living in my house right now. [​IMG] But for the sake of my DH I let it be.

    LOL I guess you could call me very anti-social.
    I have never believed that just because someone is related to you they are worthy of your time.

    Here is hoping you have a nice holiday and the peace that should go with it. [​IMG]
     
  4. Ksane

    Ksane Overrun With Chickens

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    I quit "going to Christmas" with my family last year and it was the best and most peaceful Christmas I've had in 50 yrs. My kids were here and my husband, it was great. Worked out so well we did the same for Thanksgiving and will for Christmas again this year.
    You only get 1 life. Don't for one single second live it for someone else.
     
  5. MaryMouse

    MaryMouse Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Well I am in the cant stand my family corner. Mine are awful. Heres the kicker so are my husbands family. They are all just plain awful. They suck the life right out of you. We quit speaking to his family all together 4 years ago. If we had knew it would have been so good we would have done it way sooner. We have currently called it quits with my extended family, and immediate family hangs in the balance. If they cant straighten up they get the boot too.
    Basically we have discovered life without TOTALLY TOXIC people is much better. We have such a healthy perspective on life now. And heck yeah, I am self centered, and self serving for once in my life, and starting to soar, now that these boat anchors are no longer attached. Good bye guilt, darma, self esteem lowering games, nastiness, and general trying to run our life and keep us down and in their control. These are just way bad people. A very dear friend of mine said to me, " If they were not your family would you hang out with them?" That question wraps it up.

    Good luck to you and take care.
     
  6. J's Orpingtons

    J's Orpingtons Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Somewhere in NI...
    Hmm... If it's only once a year you all get together I'd go. And it's not very nice when you said you almost hate them....
     
  7. cassie

    cassie Overrun With Chickens

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    J's Orpingtons :

    Hmm... If it's only once a year you all get together I'd go. And it's not very nice when you said you almost hate them....

    Maybe the OP has good reason to hate them. Even if she doesn't, once a year is once too often to be with people that make you miserable.​
     
  8. citychickx6

    citychickx6 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Quote:Maybe the OP has good reason to hate them. Even if she doesn't, once a year is once too often to be with people that make you miserable.

    x2
     
  9. Ksane

    Ksane Overrun With Chickens

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    J's Orpingtons :

    Hmm... If it's only once a year you all get together I'd go. And it's not very nice when you said you almost hate them....

    Honesty isn't always 'nice'. Not saying it out loud doesn't make it go away, it just makes you feel like you're living a lie. I'll take honesty over 'being nice' anyday.​
     
  10. mississippifarmboy

    mississippifarmboy collects slightly damaged strays Premium Member

    I can only speak for myself, but I sometimes wish I could crawl under a rock from the middle of November until mid January. I love my family but the Holidays are so stressful that I just wish we could skip the whole thing sometimes.

    I understand the OP, I've felt the same way, and have cut ties with members of my family that caused me pain and heartache. I didn't want to, but I had to if I wanted to stay sane.

    I hope everyone of us who are stressed and not having a great year has a much happier and peaceful 2012. [​IMG]
     

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