Christmas/Poultry Themed Humor

[Ducks and Banny hens]

The Twelve Days of Poultry (12 days of Christmas with a humorous twist):

'On the twelfth yada-yada etc. My true love gave to me:

12 Lamonas Leaping

11 Ducks Dancing

10 Pied Calls Pie-ing

9 Mille Fleurs

8 Turkeys - er, there were eight turkeys, until we ate turkey...

7 Swans a-swimming

6 Geese a-laying

5 Gold Duckwings

4 Columbian Rocks

3 French Hens

2 Termonde Ducks

And a Partridge Cochin Bantam hen!



If you have any similar jokes, post them here.

 

[Ducks and Banny hens]

Twas the Night Before Christmas
By Clement Cluck Moore


'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The chickens were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of succulent earthworms danced in their heads;

And my dog in her collar, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter's hibernation,

When out in the barn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters, which fell of and went smash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to frozen objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny rein-ducks,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

So up to the barn-top the duckies, they flew,

With the sleigh full of corn, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a ker-plunkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little waddling foot.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

In the Barn St. Nicholas went with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with shavings and poop;

A bundle of corn he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
(awkward pause)

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the feeders; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney that wasn't even there he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his ducks gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, E-R-E. Hhhm. Wonder what that means? He drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

 

[Ducks and Banny hens]

Ruduck the red-nosed Reinduck...

 

[Symphony]

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