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Christmas UPDATE!!

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by justusnak, Dec 9, 2007.

  1. justusnak

    justusnak Flock Mistress

    Bubba Claus,

    Memo from Santa: I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve Georgia, Florida, West Virginia, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi,Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana or Alabama on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us.



    Differences such as:

    1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads:

    'These toys insured by Smith and Wesson.'

    2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave RC cola and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff, so please have an empty spit-can handy. 3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

    4. You won't hear 'On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and Blitzen...' when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, 'On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Martin and Petty.'

    5. 'Ho, Ho, Ho' has been replaced by 'Yee Haw' And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, 'I her'd dat'

    6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words ' Back Off.'

    7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as 'Miracle on 34th Street' and 'It's a Wonderful Life' will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see 'Boss Hogg Saves Christmas' and 'Smokey and the Bandit IV' featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other.

    And Finally,

    8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

    Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus
     
  2. bamagirl68

    bamagirl68 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    141
    Sep 3, 2007
    central alabama
    [​IMG] being from the south, I think this is hillarious. Think I may have even seen him a time or two!
     
  3. nccountrygirl

    nccountrygirl Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jul 31, 2007
    Sanford N.C.
    Oh My God, this is hilarious. How true though, us being from the south can relate to this. GET ER DONE!
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2007
  4. BantyChickMom

    BantyChickMom Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 25, 2007
    Henderson, NC
    After seeing this update I feel pretty sure that "Bubba Claus" has been visiting my house for quite a few years.

    All us southerners really appreciate a good laugh!!

    Thanks justusnak.
     
  5. cknmom

    cknmom Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Apr 10, 2007
    Dickson TN
    [​IMG]:lauNot a southerner but am a BIG nascar fan. I live in SOUTHERN CA, does that count?? That is GREAT!!

    Monica
     
  6. hsm5grls

    hsm5grls Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Oct 3, 2007
    tucson
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] Shoot I live in S.W. Arizona and I have family members like bubba clause. I think they might even be related. One has get er done on the back of his truck in spray paint I think that makes him a red neck LOL
     

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