Cowboy rules for....................

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by Greg Richardson, Sep 1, 2010.

  1. Arizona, Texas , Oklahoma, Colorado , New Mexico , Wyoming , Montana , Utah ,Nebraska, Idaho and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:

    1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

    2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

    3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

    4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

    5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

    6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

    7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

    8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

    9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

    10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.

    11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

    12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat ... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

    13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

    14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

    15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

    16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
  2. 1sttimer

    1sttimer Songster

    Feb 15, 2010
    i 2nd this motion

    i live in missouri and he have a mix of accents so i say ya'll a lot cuz im from the country and get made fun of. (really ticks me off) but i do have a cell phone and i hate it, it gets on my nerves talkin to people. and i do like my thumps though. and when im old enough to drive i wanna chevy truck, lifted, brush gaurd, nerf bars and a awesome stereo. oh and a long bed, none of those short stubby beds grr they get on my nerves to.

    and yes im a girl. [​IMG]

    in my school, we have a couple of farm boys and they are my favorites. lol i do like my farm boys, i hate the ones that have their pants on the floor, didnt they get the memo, after you go to the bathroom, ya gotta pull your pants up.

    but thats just me =]
  3. MaggieRae

    MaggieRae Songster

    Apr 12, 2009
    North Texas
    Cute. Although I have to be honest, I break rule 16 pretty often. I blasted Blake Shelton on the way home from lunch in my jeep. [​IMG] Last time it was Kid Rock's "All Summer long".
  4. michickenwrangler

    michickenwrangler To Finish Is To Win

    Jun 8, 2008
    NE Michigan
    All the schools in northern Michigan get opening day of deer season off. November 15th.

    We also have 3 "official" deer hunting songs: Fred Bear, First Two Weeks of Deer Camp and T'irty-point Buck
  5. Q9

    Q9 General Headache

    I support these rules. All of them also apply to us Southerners, as well. Well, with the exception of major cities and Florida. I have never heard stereo blaring in Charleston, or backwoods NC. Sometimes, though, in little towns that try to be big, you'll get the occasional stereo-goon. SO ANNOYING! Back a few years ago, some Pennsylvanians moved down here. Their eldest son... Well, let's just say he introduced us to the "gangsta" look. I won't go into it, but ever since then I have been suspicious of Northerners. I'll be friendly, but I'll still be cautious until you've earned my trust. [​IMG]
  6. muddyhorse

    muddyhorse Songster

    Aug 11, 2009
    Bloomsdale, MO
    you forgot the dog rules
    yes it smells it just swam in the pond
    yes it is really cool when it goes and gets the cows
    NO you should not get one for your apartment it is meant to work
    NO I don't want it now that it ate the couch, table, carpet And high heels [​IMG]

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