'Are you Pregnant, Sir?' ___________________ 'I need some Aspirin; My Chickens hurt' _________________________________ 'If I were to die right now, I don't think I could look my children in the face' ___________________________________________________________ 'When I grows up, I wanna be a Canoe Surgeon' ________________________________________ 'I happen to like My Potbelly; Me and my fat, you know, we're close. I'm too attached to part with it!' __________________________________________________________________________________ "I wonder how many pennies are in 93 cence?" ______________________________________ "You went skinny dipping? How'd you go skinny dipping? You don't own a bathing suit!" ________________________________________________________________________ "If a dime is worth 10 pennies, then why is the penny 1.364 times bigger than the dime?" _________________________________________________________________________ 'Hello, I need an X-ray. My hand seems to have some broken bones; somebody didn't appreciate my vivid sense of humor' ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ 'No matter what the size difference, anything can be put into an oriface using a funnel and a toilet plunger' _______________________________________________________________________________________ 'There is nothing quite so romantic as sitting alone watching the sunset, and thinking about the future, while sitting submersed in the mud petting a barrow' __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 'No, Nelly. I won't sell you any pumpkins' __________________________________ "You mean there are actually people out there who don't own chickens?!?" _____________________________________________________________ "With gas prices as high as they are these days, we can't afford not to own a syphon" ______________________________________________________________________ "I don't care what any scientists say, Christmas Eve is the longest day of the year" ____________________________________________________________________ "If you're so upset about being short, why don't you squat down?" _____________________________________________________ "I was a little nervous about going Icefishing in November. My apprehension was made all the more legitimate when tom dropped his sandwich and it broke through the ice..." _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ "I don't think he meant it like that, but he sure can run away fast..." _______________________________________________________ "Your Sock's untied" _________________ "I've been searching for days, but I've finally done it. I've discovered the cure for inquisity" ________________________________________________________________________ "...Oh, I'll be okay. I only stuck my arm down into a hollow trunk to see if that coon was still there. Apparently it was." ________________________________________________________________________________________________ "That poor Rooster. That poor, sticky Rooster." ______________________________________ "We're the only hockey team in the world that uses chainsaws as sticks" ____________________________________________________________ "I think something's wrong with this map. See, it says 'GO TO CANADIAN TIRE, TURN LEFT, WALK INTO A WALL, THEN WALK IN A RANDOM DIRECTION.'" ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ "Merry Joseph and Happy Root Beer!" _______________________________ "I have a really short attention spa- Hey, look! A twig! Neat!" _________________________________________________ "Can't you see we're in the middle of a very heated calm angry quiet discussion?!?!" _____________________________________________________________________ 'It gets could up here. One day last months we walked into a Non-Smoking Facility and they threw us out for breathing.' __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 'The Radio is a marvelous device! It keeps me up to date. If it weren't for the Radio, I wouldn't have known there was a war going on. Gee, I sure hope the Yankees win.' ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 'Did you yawn? All by yourself?!? Good boy! You yawned all by yourself! You're so talented!!!!' _____________________________________________________________________________ Correspondances coming soon.