Dear Dogs and Cats

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Frizzledhen, Feb 6, 2008.

  1. Frizzledhen

    Frizzledhen Spear Gunnin' Coons

    Feb 17, 2007
    Dear Dogs and Cats:
    The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.

    The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

    To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

    To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
    1. They live here. You don't.
    2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "fur" niture.
    3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
    4. To you, they are an animal. To me , he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

    Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
    1. Eat less
    2. Don't ask for money all the time
    3 Are easier to train
    4. Normally come when called . 5. Never ask to drive the car
    6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
    7. Don't smoke or drink
    8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
    9. Don't want to wear your clothes
    10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
    11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
  2. gritsar

    gritsar Cows, Chooks & Impys - OH MY!

    Nov 9, 2007
    SW Arkansas
    I love it! [​IMG]
  3. Yogiman

    Yogiman Songster

    Feb 2, 2008
    South Louisiana
    [​IMG] And I love it too. I have a friend that is into canine rescue and I thought for a minute she was on this forum. It sounds like something she would have written . [​IMG]
  4. Moonwalker

    Moonwalker Songster

    Jan 9, 2008
    Washburn, MO
    What? You mean everybody doesn't live under those circumstances?
    Sounds like a normal day in my house!
    (see list of critters below)
  5. coloradochick

    coloradochick Songster

    Dec 19, 2007
    Brighton, CO
    Wow Gayle this is my life to a tee. [​IMG] Too funny
  6. [​IMG]
  7. theOEGBman

    theOEGBman Songster

    Jan 13, 2007
    Central California
    11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.


    That one cracked me up!

    1. They live here. You don't.

    I love that one too! I get it all the time with my Snakes. If you dont like them, you DO NOT have to come over! Cause odds are, if you dont like my snakes, I probably dont like you! [​IMG]
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2008
  8. Nichole77

    Nichole77 Songster

    Jul 14, 2007
    They eat less???? Are you sure?
  9. Frizzledhen

    Frizzledhen Spear Gunnin' Coons

    Feb 17, 2007
    Quote:Well chihuahuas do. Some people like to have huge, humungus, gigantic, enormous,elephantized size dogs and even then I am not sure they would eat more than a growing teen.

    Yogiman, I fostered for a large rescue group here in Michigan, mostly chihuahuas. I have seen this and other similar writings before. I love the one about sleeping on the bed. I have a full size bed and 8 chis that sleep with me. I have learned to not turn over in my sleep for fear of finding a smushed chi in the morning. I would sleep on the couch but the little furbutts would just follow me to the couch and then the bed would be void of dogs.

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