# Differences between men and woman (FUNNY!)

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by chickenbarn-gal, Sep 20, 2010.

1. ### chickenbarn-galSongster

Jun 6, 2010
Michigan
Differences Between Man and Women

Names

If Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara.

If John, Brad, Tony and Daniel go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.

Eating Out

When the bill arrives, John, Brad, Tony and Daniel will each throw in \$20, even though the total is only \$34.25. None of them will have any smaller bills and none will admit they want change back.

When Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

Money

A man will pay \$10 for a \$5 item he needs.

A woman will pay \$5 for a \$10 item that she doesn't need, because it's on sale.

Bathrooms

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Motel 6.

The average number of items in a woman's bathroom is 328. The average man would not be able to identify most of them.

Arguments

Women always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Cats

Women love cats.

Men may say they love cats, but when women are not looking, will men kick cats.

Future

A woman worries about the future -- until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future -- until he gets a wife.

Success

A successful man is one who makes more money than can be spent by his wife.

A successful woman is one who can find that a man.

Marriage

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

Dressing Up

A woman will dress up when she goes shopping, empties the garbage, answers the phone, waters the plants, gets the mail and reads a book.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Natural

Men wake up looking as good as when they went to bed.

Women will somehow deteriorate during the night.

Children

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their best friends, romances, secret hopes and dreams, favorite foods, fears and dental appointments.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Haha! I think that is so true!!!!

2. ### SassymygirlMiss Equestrian

Sep 16, 2008
Carencro, Louisiana

3. ### MoabiteSongster

Feb 24, 2010
Utah
Opposites attract.

4. ### IlliaCrazy for Colors

16,241
141
336
Oct 19, 2009
Forks, WA
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

5. ### Chickenrandomness.

Sep 13, 2009
Stanley, North Dakota
i don't kick cats!!! i love Rainy, Tas, and Simba! i even made a thread about cats!!!

6. ### denim debChirping

Sep 15, 2010
My husband has more items in the bathroom than I do. And, to me, dressed up is a clean pair of jeans w/out manure stains on them and a shirt w/out stains on it. He spends more time on his appearance than I do.

7. ### Ec_ProktaContinuum Shift Anomaly

Jan 14, 2009
A Successful woman is one who can find a man.

But what if she doesn't want to get married at all?

It's still somewhat funny, though.​

Last edited by a moderator: Sep 20, 2010