I have a friend in a awful position. I have not been closely involved in divorce proceeding with kids and my own divorce was like 15 plus years ago. The guy in the situation is being "cheated" on. He has two wonderful children. He is heartbroken. They were together when she was 16 and now he is 40. The kids are like 14 and 16. One boy one girl The wife in this situation has taken to helping a guy, divorced, two kids one younger and one teen girl. I am not sure who lives with him but the boy must because the wife watched the little boy of this man. That is how they met. The man is a drunk and just got his license taken away for it. She is taking him where he needs to go. Spending time there watching movies, and even left her daughter at home the other night while taking him food shopping. In my opinion they guy should starve or get a cab. Some counseling was done but there is something about the 3rd visit that scares most away. The guy has done what he can, the wife not so much. The guy is going to church and staying plugged in the wife, she has to work. This is the issue. I am afraid for the kids. If this drunk has access to the house after the guy leaves his home then what will he do to the kids? Touch the daughter, beat up the son? Drive the kids drunk?? I think it is really dangerous. The whole problem is that the Man doesn't want to fight and just wants to leave. My concerns are he will have nothing, his kids will be in danger, he will end up paying obscene amounts of child support/alimony (this is NJ) and while he is crippled with hurt now he will regret the decision to go without much of a fight. I also do not know what the consequences of him leaving before the divorce are. I do not know what you do if the lawyer is going to cost you to much? At this point I would paint the lawyers home to help pay for the help he needs. I do not know what to say to him to make him fight, he worked so hard all these years to provide a beautiful home and lots of nice things for his family. I think she should leave the house and let him stay with the kids. She is obviously finding the drunk more important. Help!!