Do most people want you to be down?

[Fierlin1182]

I understand. I thankfully don't know any people who are like that all the time, but perhaps that's because I'm more on the negative side myself so I don't notice as much.

Like beach livin said... well, they get you down and they've won! Perhaps your positive influence can do some good to them. I know hanging around gals like Lily always gets me in better spirits...

 

[chickened]

Misery loves company. I try to avoid that group. I usually will try to change the subject.

 

[zzGypsy]

Quote:
hmmm... everyone else?

no, actually I dont notice that... there are certainly people who have a negative attitude, or are into lots of drama, or have to push you down to feel up themselves, but I wouldn't say that's the majority. people like that will exhaust you, and I don't spend any time with them... especially the mean or the chronically down ones that have that energy-sucking feel about them. if they're in that category, they have to go. but most folks? no. I find most folks are busy with their lives, maybe not constantly interested in, or focused on, lifting others up, but they're certainly not focused on pushing others down.

I guess I take things at face value for the most part. if what they say fits this "They try to say it in a way that makes it seem like they are trying to lift you up" then I stop analyzing it there. I let it lift me up. if they want to push me down, they'll need to be a bit more direct about it, because I can choose my reaction to things. I don't have to look for the passive agressive subtext.

for those who really ARE trying to undermine me, taking only the uplift part may frustrate them... that's ok with me, I am lifted up anyway. if they meant to hurt me, they'll just have to work a little harder. and once they declare themselves in that way, well, then they have to go!

If what they're doing is giving me the happy face, and layering it with some negative intent, then what they're expecting me to do is feel bad while they look like nice people. that takes some extra work on my part... looking for the undercurrent, reading into their intent, generating all those negative emotions. but I don't believe in doing the work of evil people for them. if they want me to feel bad, let them come right out and do the work themselves. I'm sure not going to go to all that exra effort and then walk around feeling bad, spending even more of my precious energy, just because they had a sneaky plan for looking nice while being mean. nope, if they want a shot at making me feel bad, they'll have to come right out and be mean, and be seen for what they are. I'm sure not helping them. so I just take the uplift at it's face and go on about my (better) day.

 

[EweSheep]

My own mother is that way.....two years ago she ended up in the hospital, stress and exhaustion. Stayed in the hospital for three days. From that point on, she does not celebrate birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, or any festivities going on, nope, she is staying home. My mom used to be the life of the party, loves to cook and so forth. Then she b***** because people already had their gifts and fun and feast without her. My sis and I had enough of that pity party and said OK Mom, that's fine if you don't want to celebrate or even eat with us. I swear each day goes by, she would be like her own mother, who was sooooooo selfish and backstabbing people in the back for those who did give her gifts that she WANTED.

She just dont want the stress, turmoil, gossip and so forth. No gifts either. So she said. Then sis and I (and Dad too) would feel the heat from her telling our cousins, her sisters and SIL how she didn't get anything for Christmas or birthdays. So ungrateful and hurtful!

Sure I can understand that her father passed away on Christmas Day roughly 15 years ago but she had parties and fun since then.....until she landed in the hospital.

My sis and I don't have to be around her very much. Of course it bothers me because it is not what she really was or am I grabbing at something that it is futile in getting my Mom back the way she was? Probably!

I guess her age is creeping up on her...she is 67 years old and easily stressed out (or get worked up about nothing).

 

[Avalon1984]

Quote:
We must be leading parallel lives or have the same mother. It always seems that some people, in the wake of a tragedy, either bounce back a better person, or worse. They are never the same though.

 

[EweSheep]

It was hard on my Mom, having a father died on Christmas Day and then years later, going to the hospital on Christmas morning and she could not get back home for Christmas because they could not get her blood pressure, blood sugar and the mess she had under control. I think she lost her mind in the soddie house!