I am just not sure how much more I can take right now. I say that to my husband and I get the automatic comment that I am stronger than I think. Yea buddy, just wait till he gets to pick up the million pieces. Its killing my health and the doctors comment that I should try to relax makes me want to strangle her. Man why didn't I think of that myself, I should just relax. Duh I will just flip my stress switch to off and its all fixed. YAY problem solved. You would think if you have been seeing someone for a year and you know they have panic attacks on a regular basis that "just try to relax" is not going to cut it. The kids are forever fighting and I am with them 24/7. I get maybe 5 hours sleep each night. I'm responsible for the kids, finances, housework, homeschooling, and animals. My parents are just trying to kill themselves I swear. If one is not falling, the other decides to take down a huge tree on his own and lets the dang thing drop on top of him. Me and my husband are forever running to an injured parent and lord help me if I even suggest that maybe they could leave some things for us to do. Yea right, no we are going to be hardheaded and wake up at 4 am just so we can do something we shouldn't be doing so we can hurt ourselves. Then on top of that lets then refuse to go to the ER and tell our daughter to kiss our ?. Then lets tell our other kids we hurt ourselves so they can then call our daughter ( the only one with little kids) and complain because I did not force our parents to go to the ER. GAH Yea I want to see one of them try to force them. Good luck. Even resorting to tears and bribery doesn't work. Not that one of the siblings is ever around to help but they are good at guilt trips. I already know i have to face my parents mortality and probably sooner than I can deal with but seriously do they have to try to speed up the process with silly stuff. I sit up a night fretting and they just laugh. I have chest pains, aching muscles, heck even sharp breast pain which I was told was from stress. I gain weight, I can't sleep, I can't breathe at times. I keep getting sick. Everything upsets my stomach. But we are just going to keep telling me how strong I am. People when I scream I am about to implode and shatter I really mean it. Stop tell me how strong I am. I swear in protest I am about to lock myself in a closet with my fancy tea I never have time for and chocolate and I won't come back out till I feel better. Sorry I am dumping this on you guys but I gotta let it out at times and you all never tell me I am stronger than I think and to suck it up. Maybe its time to take a break and go to a swap meet or something. ALONE !!!