I am exhausted from fighting...fighting with the insurance company which leads to fighting with my hubby which leads to fighting with myself. I have been trying to get treatment for a chronic illness since January. The insurance company denied one medication that is very effective and another medication is subject to my deductible which means that I have to pay $1000 out of pocket before they'll cover anything. Needless to say, I don't have $1000. Due to my illness, I have trouble working.....can't really expect an employer to be okay with me running to the restroom 6-10 times per day. The insurance will completely cover a third medication that has awful side effects (potential cancers) and can take up to 3 months to show effectiveness. In the meantime, I'm jacked up on high doses of steroids, subject to horrible mood swings, water retention and sleeplessness. I'm a real peach to be around!!! On top of all this, my husband desperately needs surgery to fix a torn rotator cuff and is REFUSING!! He's (rightfully) afraid we'll lose our house when he's off on disability for 6 weeks. We are struggling to make it as is, so reducing his pay to 60% will be suicide. I just don't think I can fight anymore. We amazingly accumulated $1200 in a 3 weeks. My 11yr old daughter had a kidney stone and was seen in the ER to the tune of $378 and my son needed stitches on his chin to the tune of $241, Hubby had to have an MRI and I had to have a colonoscopy. We are paying almost $350 a month for insurance and it seems like it doesn't buy us anything!!! All of this stress is causing depression too. I haven't even begun my garden...I just don't have the energy or desire. I've stopped going to most social events, I only clean my house when it's disgusting and bordering on a health hazard. My kid's homeschooling lessons have fallen a little behind and to be perfectly honest.....I don't really care. Inside, I know I should care...I just can't seem to find that emotion anymore. Seems like the harder I fight, the worse it gets. I apologize for sounding like a whiney brat....I just needed a place to get these awful feeling off my chest. I can't talk to my hubby as it just adds to his burden and my extended family has problems of their own. I know everyone faces problems and my situation isn't unique or extreme in any way...but it's mine and in my life it's a big deal.