Duck diary vs Chicken Diary

Discussion in 'Ducks' started by Wifezilla, May 4, 2009.

  1. Wifezilla

    Wifezilla Positively Ducky

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    Oct 2, 2008
    Colorado
    Duck Diary

    Day 983 of My Captivity

    My captors continue to taunt me by only giving me a small bucket of water when a large river and a pond are right within eyesight. They dine lavishly on fresh meat and delectable greens while the other inmates and I are fed some sort of dry pellets and the spoiled ends and pieces of vegetation they deem unfit to consume themselves. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear by overturning the feeder daily, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again snuck in the back door and pooped on the carpet in their living space. Today I decapitated a lizard and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my lethal capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little dinosaur" I am. Bastards!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices in the back yard tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "bird flu". I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking while carrying a large bag of those disgusting pellets they call "duck food". I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the garden terrace.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The colorful indoor bird must be an informant. It can see the entire yard from the kitchen window and I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

    Chicken DIary

    8:00 am - Scratch! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A worm! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - Grass! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - I laid an egg! My favorite thing!
    12:00 pm - Dirt! My favorite thing!
    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 pm - Fluffed my feathers! My favorite thing!
    5:00 pm - Dust bathing! My favorite thing!
    7:00 pm - Veggie scraps! My favorite thing!
    8:00 pm - Roosting! My favorite thi....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
     
  2. chickenwhisperer123

    chickenwhisperer123 Whispers Loudly

    Mar 7, 2009
    Lincoln, Nebraska
    [​IMG] Thats great! [​IMG]
     
  3. SpringChickens

    SpringChickens Chillin' With My Peeps

    Feb 1, 2009
    College Station, Tx
    [​IMG] I love it!!! [​IMG]
     
  4. Ondra's Seramas

    Ondra's Seramas Drowning in Seramas

    Feb 19, 2009
    North Central WA
    I have seen a dog/cat version.You must have changed the dog-chicken cat-duck! Hilarious!
     
  5. Wifezilla

    Wifezilla Positively Ducky

    11,199
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    Oct 2, 2008
    Colorado
    That's exactly what I did

    [​IMG]
     
  6. RocketChick

    RocketChick Out Of The Brooder

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    Apr 23, 2009
    OMG TOO GOOD!!!! [​IMG] LOVE it! [​IMG]
     
  7. ticks

    ticks Pheasant Obsessed

    Apr 1, 2008
    The Sticks, Vermont
    I think someone likes ducks? [​IMG]
     
  8. Wifezilla

    Wifezilla Positively Ducky

    11,199
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    Oct 2, 2008
    Colorado
    LOLOL

    I do like ducks, but don't take this as a slam on chickens. Chickens seem more "dog-like". Lots of people here with lap chickens!!!

    Ducks, on the other hand, act a LOT like my cats. Even though you raised them and care for them FOREVER, they still act like they are being MURDERED every time you pick them up!!!

    Maybe that is why I get along so well with the ducks. My cats have me properly trained [​IMG]
     
  9. ticks

    ticks Pheasant Obsessed

    Apr 1, 2008
    The Sticks, Vermont
    Oh, first you slam chickens THEN you slam dogs? ouch. That's cold girl.
     
  10. Wifezilla

    Wifezilla Positively Ducky

    11,199
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    Oct 2, 2008
    Colorado
    [​IMG]

    Nothing wrong with dogs...they are just so happy about EVERYTHING!!!

    Now pheasants...that's whole 'nother story!


    Hee hee hee
     

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