Explain the etiquette here?

I have WHAT in my yard?

Songster
11 Years
Jun 24, 2008
3,626
7
211
Eggberg, PA
OK Explain the etiquette for this situation for me? Neighborhood nearby has a community pool. You can only go if you live there or as a guest of some one who does.

Fair enough, but they have serious limits to how many guests you can bring. So, one of my DDs friends invites her to a "pool party". Then I hear via the grapevine that this is a big community party and it costs $5 to get in. I don't know if it is for guests or residents but I am already annoyed to have her invited to something without it being clear who is paying for what. Then I send her with extra cash for food.

She comes home telling me she paid $5 for the event, $2 guest fee and then paid #2.50 for her food.


Seriously. If I invite a child to an event, I assume that I will pay for her attendance to an event and her food. I mean, if you're taking the kid to a week long vacation you may set up parameters, but a pool party??


Am I wrong?
 

Me & My Peeps

Songster
9 Years
Apr 26, 2010
392
2
127
Western MA
Agreed, when I have a B-day party for my kids, I expect to cover ALL of the expenses. I would be embarassed for the child as well as MYSELF, if a guest had to pay their way to an event that I am putting on.
 

vstoltzfus

Songster
10 Years
Aug 10, 2009
199
4
111
Lancaster County, PA
I agree with you. If someone invites me to an event, I expect that I am their guest. A parent should have explained to you what the situation was when your child was invited. Then you could have decided if you wanted to send your kid. I am curious as to what would have happened if you didn't send any money along.
 

I have WHAT in my yard?

Songster
11 Years
Jun 24, 2008
3,626
7
211
Eggberg, PA
Quote:And I don't routinely send them to events they are invited to with money! If I had not gotten wind of the fact it was a bigger event I would not have given her any money.


More importantly - we're unemployed right now. I would not have said yes to a play date that was going to cost $10!!!
 

PineappleMama

Songster
10 Years
Nov 23, 2009
5,731
21
244
Deep In The Left Atrium Of TX
^ Precisely... so many folks have tight budgets right now... seems a bit much to charge $7 to swim in a plain ol' pool... here in Arlington we've got several plain ones that charge $3.50 and two water parks... big slides, but no where near the size of Six Flags that cost $6 to get in...

No way would I pay $7 for a plain pool, not even $5... maybe I'm just a cheapskate... but what if you'd ONLY sent the $5 you heard about? Nope, that kind of thing doesn't work for me... hiding the true costs, putting the costs on 'guests'... to me a 'guest' is someone you invite with the intention of providing for... guest for dinner... you provide dinner... guest for the night... provide a bed... guest to swim... you provide the pool.... AT YOUR COST...

Yeah, I'd be PEEVED. And, if there was a next time mine definitely wouldn't be going... because next time they might decide to tell everyone the cost is $5 and then charge $10... no way to know... and I try not to underestimate the sneaky.
 

Dipsy Doodle Doo

ODD BIRD
13 Years
Jan 11, 2007
7,178
73
306
Aiken, South Carolina 29801
My Coop
Hi!
So, one of my DDs friends invites her to a "pool party".

(I don't have children, so take this for what it is worth)
The first thing is that my parents would have called the parents of the child doing the 'inviting' to get the 'pertinent information' about the "pool party", or there would've been no "pool party" for me.
Do parents do that these days?

Lisa​
 

Laurajean

Slightly Touched
9 Years
Apr 2, 2010
4,304
9
221
New Hampshire
I have WHAT in my yard? :

OK Explain the etiquette for this situation for me? Neighborhood nearby has a community pool. You can only go if you live there or as a guest of some one who does.

Fair enough, but they have serious limits to how many guests you can bring. So, one of my DDs friends invites her to a "pool party". Then I hear via the grapevine that this is a big community party and it costs $5 to get in. I don't know if it is for guests or residents but I am already annoyed to have her invited to something without it being clear who is paying for what. Then I send her with extra cash for food.

She comes home telling me she paid $5 for the event, $2 guest fee and then paid #2.50 for her food.


Seriously. If I invite a child to an event, I assume that I will pay for her attendance to an event and her food. I mean, if you're taking the kid to a week long vacation you may set up parameters, but a pool party??


Am I wrong?


I'm a little confused about what the $5 dollars is for, but if that's a community pool guest rule, okay. Food I would either provide for the party, or if anything maybe ask the kids to bring something along. I wouldn't dream of charging a child to eat at a party, that's ridiculous. But what I'm really wondering over the above is this "guest fee? What the heck is that? Who's profiting from a guest fee, the kids' parents who held the party? This seems really absurd to me.​
 

debilorrah

The Great Guru of Yap
Premium Feather Member
11 Years
Aug 25, 2008
39,693
125
423
The Carpal Tunnel Rehab Center
If I were in a bad financial situation and wanted my child to have a party, I would have made it clear on the invitation how much each child would be expected to bring to the party.

I had a large party once at a mini golf place once. I paid their admission and provided all the food, but the invitations clearly illustrated that is where the gratis stopped. If they wanted more than one game of golf, or to ride rides, play games, etc., they were expected to bring enough to do so.

They were worded: One game of golf, lunch, cake and party favors included. Please remember that Camelot has alot of other activitities that your child may be interested in that will need to be funded by you. Etc....
 

19Dawn76

Songster
10 Years
Apr 26, 2009
1,301
1
159
Toadsuck, AR
I think that if your child invites another child somewhere without telling the parents that they will need money then the parents of the one doing the inviteing should pay.

When I was a kid if I invited a friend to the zoo or what ever then my parents paid. I remember always inviteing one friend and my parents paid for her to get into museums and to eat in restaurants etc. She had a single mother and her mother NEVER spent any money on me. Ican remember being hungry and being in a drive thru and her mother bought her something and not me. She had a job at a bowling alley as a cook and she would give her daughter food to eat and me not even water. My mom would drop me off at the bowling alley in the afternoon so she would have company and I would go home with them to spend the night and the woman would not even make sure I got fed. My mother always wondered why I stopped hangign out with her. Looking back I can t believe the nerve of that woman.
 

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