family and thanksgiving

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by chixie, Nov 19, 2009.

  1. chixie

    chixie Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 6, 2009
    kountze texas
    I have two aunts that are married to my moms brother and they are so jelious of each other...last week aunt A asked my sister what our thanksgiving plans were...my sister said she didn't know and that it was a little early... well yesterday aunt a went to aunt B's house to invite them for thanksgiving that aunt B said she was doing thanksgiving at her house and invited them over there... Aunt A ran over here and invited us to her house so we accepted(aunt B house is where we really want to go-but she didn't let us know about thanksgiving ).. we told aunt B that we would go to both...and she seemed ok with it..Then later aunt B es daughter in law told my daughter that she was crying because we weren't comming to their house... we are so agrivated with them both that we are seriously thinking about staying home... I am sorry ..I just needed to vent
     
  2. faykokoWV

    faykokoWV Mrs Fancy Plants

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    Nov 4, 2008
    Cross Lanes, WV
    my mother-in-law and father in law are divorced and they do the same thing but at Christmas. Thankfully my SIL does Thanksgiving. Finally two years ago we asked them to alternate... no they still get upset. [​IMG] [​IMG] I really don't understand it. do they think we care for one more than the other just because we had a dinner at their house.
     
  3. SarahFair

    SarahFair Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 23, 2008
    Monroe, Ga
    Quote:Why dont yall just host Thanksgiving? [​IMG]

    But seriously.. Someone needs to bite the bullet between them.
    What happend last year?
     
  4. chixie

    chixie Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 6, 2009
    kountze texas
    Ohh no... some of my cousins kids have evil children...jk... they don't watch their kids and I have to many animals to have to worry about them letting out or hurting... and getting into my stuff and breaking things... not gonna happen... thanks for the advice though...

    I am gonna just go as planned... go to one for lunch and coffe and pie at the other... and then next year I will not go to either...
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2009
  5. shawnkfl

    shawnkfl Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Apr 30, 2009
    christiansburg, VA
    here's my solution. my famaily (just me, my wife and our daughters) spend thanksgiving together. no inlaws, no siblings, no grandparents.....none of them. now we have a nice family time together! my wife's parents drive here every thanksgiving (about 1,200 miles one way) but they don't come to visit thanksgiving day. holidays are our days, for our little family to be together peacefully and i really don't care if it upsets any of them.
     
  6. Up-the-Creek

    Up-the-Creek Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 16, 2008
    West Virginia
    Holiday's are for just my family, kids, husband, and myself. Too much conflict when you try to get together with the parents,siblings or other family. Holidays should be peaceful.
     
  7. chixie

    chixie Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 6, 2009
    kountze texas
    Thanksgiving and easter (if weather permits) is when most of our family gets together for a reunion type thing... christmas is only spent with imediate family... If we don't get together then we will only see each other at funerals... I really love my mom side of the family... I never see my dads side of the family... there is not many of the older family left...
     
  8. Sonoran Silkies

    Sonoran Silkies Flock Mistress

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    Jan 4, 2009
    Tempe, Arizona
    There is no one right answer. Different things work for different families. That said, it is selfish to always spend a holiday with one side of the family and never the other without good reason.

    When a family begins (talking couple here, not necessarily children), each person brings in his/her own history of how holidays are spent, and the amount of value they place on spending them in that manner. It is important for the couple to find a solution that meets each both of their needs and wants equally. This often means alternating which holiday is spent where when both extended families live close, but there are other solutions that work, too.

    It is unfair of extended family to issue no invitations and simply expect that others will show up unless that is a tradition that has been going on for many years. In the case of the OP, it sounds like there has been no real discussion, just expectations without invitations and hurt feelings that someone wasn't able to read their mind. Oh, and competitiveness as well. It really sounds like the whole family needs to meet and make a plan if they really want to spend holidays together.

    I personally am not particularly happy with a small holiday gathering--I want the entire extended family, and perhaps some friends as well. I get that once in a while, but not nearly as often as I'd like. DH would be happy going out to a restaurant, but that is NOT going to happen. Did it once, never again--it became nothing more than a routine meal out. We did have a Thanksgiving dinner at church one year and that was nice, but unfortunately the organizers were no longer able to continue doing so.
     
  9. chixie

    chixie Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 6, 2009
    kountze texas
    I have many reason why I don't spend the holidays with my dads family...I never see them... when my dad divorced my mom behind her back his family knew about it and we lived on his families property next to his sister... he told the judge my mom abandoned him and he had the kids in san antonio withhim... he moved us to his sisters so that when he retired he was comming to live with us... the courts had my mom paying 400 a month dper child and their was 3 of us...my aunt told my sister months after it was final(my sister who was already married) and that is how my mom found out... his whole familyknew... they are all back stabbers and only want anything to do with us is when we have something they want... so yes maybe I am selffish but i have my reasons...I do see my dad ...he never invites us over for holidays..if he did I would go...

    I am going to both of my aunts houses on thanksgiving ...when I really just want to stay home now...
     
  10. wildorchid053

    wildorchid053 Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 12, 2009
    syracuse area, ny
    we spend thanksgiving at my house.. they are welcome to join us if they want.. but when christmas comes.. my side does christmas eve and his side does christmas day.. it works out great that way..the kids don't really want to be there christmas day with all the stuff santa brought but it works out fine. i get to rest while they put on the dinner lol
     

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