Family issue: We (I? We?) may be being taken advantage of.

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by eenie114, Jun 26, 2011.

  1. eenie114

    eenie114 Completly Hopeless

    Okay. This may be a bit long, so bear with me. [​IMG]

    My aunt on my mom's side moved six miles away from us about a week ago. Moving equals chaos, chaos, CHAOS. This particular aunt has several grown children, and one nine-year-old girl still at home.
    Well, we got some people from our church and a few other friends to help her move into her "new" house. When I say new, I mean about 70+ years old and it needs work. She has health problems, so thought it would be a great idea for me to come and work for her, cleaning up her kitchen, because, apparently, "Oh, God, the visual clutter makes me just wanna kill myself!" I listened to that for FOUR HOURS.
    I was then payed for TWO HOURS, because "I talked a lot". SHE talked a lot, and we had a 20 minute break for lunch. I was told it was a paying job, ten dollars an hour. Then, on the way home, she said "I think I'll only pay you for two hours because you talked a lot."
    I will be the first to admit, I'm a talker. I talk a LOT. But not when
    a) I'm working at something other than my chores for cranky people and
    b) My employer is on the OTHER END OF THE HOUSE. We would have had to YELL.

    Next episode:

    Our church has prayer meeting every Wednesday night. She knew we were going. I ended up staying home because I was tired and feeling introverted. Well, imagine my surprise when at TEN AT NIGHT, she pulls into our driveway.
    "I need two dozen eggs and a gallon of milk, how much are they?"
    It was ten at night. [​IMG] We are NOT Wal-Mart!! [​IMG]
    Mom got home and told us yes, apparently the aunt called while Mom was in prayer meeting (they were just having fellowship time, though. Thankfully prayer time wasn't interrupted) and said, "I'm on my way to your house for milk and eggs." Again, DO WE LOOK LIKE WALMART?!

    I dunno, am I overreacting?
  2. flower

    flower Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 16, 2009
    SW US Desert
    How much did you charge for the milk and eggs ? Just with any peronality challenged person you need to set limits now. Nice is OK but she sounds "not nice" and a user of nice people. Life is recirprocal. Get a copy of the child's story called THE LITTLE RED HEN and have a child read it to her and then have the child ask her to tell what the story means to her.
  3. drdoolittle

    drdoolittle Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jul 30, 2010
    NE Indiana
    I don't think you're overeacting. Your nt should have paid you for the entire time you were working, whether you talked a lot or not. What does talking have to do with the hours you worked-----it wasn't work you had to use your mouth for was it? The thing with the milk and eggs would have really bugged me too. Is the closest grocery store really far away, and she wanted to save on gas? The thing is, if she buys the milk and eggs from you, won't you have to go to the store? Or is it milk and eggs from your own animals? Sounds like you and your mom are in for a bumpy ride.

    As for flower's Little Red Hen idea, your aunt will probably think the Little Red Hen was just selfish not to share the bread at the end of the story.
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2011
  4. eenie114

    eenie114 Completly Hopeless

    Quote:Not work I needed my mouth for. I was cleaning mold out of cabinets. [​IMG]

    The store was in the same town as her, but closed. It opens at eight in the morning, but she wants fresh products. The eggs and milk are from our cow and chickens, yes.

    I hate saying this, but you're probably right about that. [​IMG] I can totally see her saying that.
  5. eenie114

    eenie114 Completly Hopeless

    Quote:I gave her an 18 pack of eggs and charged three dollars, and a half gallon of milk and charged her two. I think those were the right prices, though I may not have remembered, given the late hour. I figure if I charged her extra, it was for showing up at 10 PM.
  6. herfrds

    herfrds Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 11, 2010
    Yep sure sounds like the start of it.
    Next time she wants milk and eggs charge her twice the price and that should make up for her not paying you for the work you did or you can just tell her your out.
    Don't work for her again nor offer help.
    These type of people are like leeches and will drain you dry in more ways then one.
  7. CityGirlintheCountry

    CityGirlintheCountry Green Eggs and Hamlet

    Jul 7, 2007
    Middle TN
    4 hours of work= $20
    2 dozen eggs and a gallon of milk= $20 plus the cost of eggs and milk

  8. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

    Mar 5, 2007
    Phoenix, AZ
    My best advice to you is just to avoid working for this person in the future. I worked for a family a couple of times babysitting and they were paying me hardly anything (One time I made just about $4 an hour!) to watch four children, two of which needed diaper changes! It just wasn't worth my time to do that when I had another job I could have been at making $10 an hour. For awhile I politely told her I could not babysit due to prior obligations. Then one day I decided to babysit for them again and she paid me $8 an hour. I was happy with that and figured she may have realized they needed to pay more to get me over there! Apparently the children kept asking for me to babysit.

    If your aunt asks you to work again, just politely decline and say you have plans.
  9. Spookwriter

    Spookwriter Overrun With Chickens

    Feb 23, 2010
    You deserve to be paid for the entire time you spent at
    her house, at her request, to do the work you were asked to
    do. If by talking, you mean your aunt was in the same room as
    you and either you talked while you worked or the conversation
    itself in some manner kept you for completing your work, she should
    still pay you.

    As to coming over at 10:00 at night....that wouldn't happen again. If your
    family does sell eggs, milk and such I'm sure you prefer to do that during
    normal hours.

    Do not let people use you. Be polite, but firm in what you say.

    Spook, very old, very firm.
  10. SheilaV

    SheilaV Out Of The Brooder

    Jun 5, 2011
    I agree with others. You are/were/ and will be used again if you do not set your limits and stick to them. I have made a practice of never "working" for family or friends, working for money that is. If I am working for a stranger or someone I do not have a special regard for, I can quickly and cleanly sever the relationship. It is like any job ... if it does not work out, you can always leave it. No hard feelings or family repercussions (beyond those, perhaps, of loss of that income). However, when doing work, especially as a favor, albeit paid work, it is not so clear cut. The employer tends to take liberties because of that relationship, as often does the employee, I must add (beware of hiring family as well). So, if I see a friend needs help, I help, without compensation, and when it gets too uncomfortable, I can simply declare it a day, make my excuses, and leave. I do not have to deal with my work ethics being challenged, only my ego and sense of what is right or wrong. As for the late night shopping, maybe posting some "store hours" would be a good start. You will have this come up again, and her demands will continue until she is clear on your limits. Set the times you can and will "do business", the prices for your produce AND labor, and any other limitations you may need, such as when you will receive visitors or calls. She is, sadly, a user, and I suspect so are her children, so gird your loins, this is not the end of it. Define your limits for yourself and your family, first to yourselves, and then to the relatives, then STICK TO THEM. Not unlike training a kid or a dog ... repitition and consistancy will eventually win out. Be firm, be kind, and do NOT feel guilty. While you can still be gracious and charitable, do not let them forget that you are not there to take care of them... that is their own responsibility. They will use whoever they can. Just hold your head up, and know that it is not your burden to bear.

    Good luck. I know this is hard. Family is hard sometimes, but you have to be strong and trust your own instincts.[​IMG]

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