Friends..........Not many anymore....Homeschoolers/sorta rambling

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by tobin123, Jun 15, 2010.

  1. tobin123

    tobin123 Songster

    908
    0
    139
    Mar 4, 2009
    fountaintown,indiana
    Okay so I have a few of aquantances(sp)when my son was in PS but now that we homeschool I don't really have time to go search for friends.I know that I don't need them and it is okay with me{sorta}See we have several families around us that homeschool and we use to swim together and go to the library alot but this past year we haven't had that much time as we use to but I have found that one family is finding time with the other instead.My husband said that is the best BC he doesn't really agree or like how they live and their kids act.But.for me I want my son to have some friends and I know that we are always going to find something about others that we don' t agree on but why be so picky????Okay though I am not that mother that seeks out the mommy group to discuss all.I know my child is okay with what we have and I am not about going out of my way to dress to impress other mamas,NOT HAPPENING HERE.So do you know what I am talking about????THanks:
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2010
  2. Nana2KJS

    Nana2KJS Chicks-n-Ahs

    501
    8
    141
    Mar 21, 2009
    SE Kansas
    My daughter is much the same way. They have one or two families of friends that are homeschooling also. She has the oldest in city rec sports so he has interaction with other kids, but they don't have a lot of friends. I very much would like to see her get involved in a church so the little boys have the opportunity to practice more social interactions, but so far she has not been comfortable anywhere in the town they've moved to.

    I wholly agree with what she is doing with her boys, I just wish they had more chances to be around kids their own age with no pressures from the parents to be or not be friends. It's not always about mom or dad, but about the little ones.

    Just my 2cw. Good luck!
     
  3. Marie1234

    Marie1234 Songster

    224
    7
    101
    Mar 29, 2010
    It depends on the interests of your kids. For boys cub scouts starts at age 6 and can be a great "organized activity" that sometimes extends over to casual relationships. If you google boy scouts of America there will be a link to find your local group. At a recent training I went to it was discussed that we should be looking at recruiting and welcoming homeschoolers. Other options are sports or 4H and church groups.
     
  4. Cindiloohoo

    Cindiloohoo Quiet as a Church Mouse

    7,470
    22
    253
    Dec 19, 2009
    Southwest TN
    I kind of know what you mean, but here is my issue. My homeschooled kid has plenty of friends who homeschool and go to PS as well, but my problem is she is constantly complaining about NOT having enough friends [​IMG] She stays at someones house almost every week or has someone over. I say this because I just can't figure out how many friends is enough? We rotate between 4 or 5 kids over or she's at their place or on the phone with them CONSTANTLY. Can someone tell me just how social she is supposed to be? This does not include ANY from church or ones that she is just phone friends with. Then she whines about wanting to go back to PS, but she doesn't want to get up early to catch the bus or carry her lunch every day(food allergies) [​IMG] Sometimes I think she just complains because her grandparents keep filling her head full of how she couldn't possibly be social enough not going to PS. She is currently on a one month vacation...that's pretty darn social if ya ask me. She has more friends and does more than I ever did at her age.


    OP be GLAD they have a few 'good' friends and not just a bunch of shallow acquaintances. Are the kids interested in a bunch of friends or are they happy as is? I really think it depends on the child to a degree as well.
     
  5. Mattemma

    Mattemma Crowing

    5,314
    64
    291
    Aug 12, 2009
    We have always had this issue regardless of the schooling situation we were in-public,home,private,online. Currently my kids are in a Montessori school.While they both like their classmates I have only had 1 kid over in the past 2 years. I think a lot of families are busy with after school activities and church.That,or maybe they are 2 rich to mix with us,lol. I really thought the *friend* issue would not be an issue while the kids are in school,but it hasn't been much better.

    We did classes and signed up for library and park/farm classes but they never lead to anything more.We don't live in a neighborhood so that friend pool isn't around. One of my kids doesn't even care.Lol,she says friendship is hard work.I guess her classmates create a lot of drama with liking/disliking each other,and my dd is often in the middle wanting to like everyone. My younger though craves friends. I usually have 2 kids over for the summer,but there may come a time when those boys outgrow their summer visits and want girls over toys! When homeschooling we did the homeschool groups,classes,field trips. Nice events,but you go and then come home.No contact outside of the group.

    I think as long as you get out there and do activities those connections may happen.And if they don't well you are atleast are enjoying life.Family first. Out of all my school friends only 1 I have contact with,and that is just online or phone contact!

    We tried scouts(girl)but again no connection after months.I do what I can for the kids,but in the end it is up to THEM to make that connection with others and work to maintain those connections....if that is what they want.

    I am not super picky with families/friends,but I won't put up with someone just so my kid has a playmate.Actually I did do it when my dd was younger and it was the pits.Totally not worth it.Better to be alone than have a crappy friend,but I know for some it is better to have a crappy friend than be alone!
     
  6. tobin123

    tobin123 Songster

    908
    0
    139
    Mar 4, 2009
    fountaintown,indiana
    We do 4H throughout the year and then of course the fair.'yes he also has PS friends,but that is so hard to keep get together with others when they have to go here and there for everything and anything.He doesn't want to do cub scouts or any of that stuff.We also have co-op starting in a couple of months but you only see them during that time not after.We have a total of 7 ids that are just down and around the corner that homeschool but I have found when we are all together I do not approve of the way the talk and act.I still will go for my son but not as often. I know this is a little weird but I can complian,right!!!!!!!!!!!We live out in the country and no close neighbors except down the road but still he doesn't even really care.I think it may be more me thatn him.My husband has a saying that he doesn't need friends/others BC we have each other.
     
  7. Slinkytoys

    Slinkytoys Songster

    638
    1
    119
    Jun 22, 2009
    Black Forest
    Good idea with the Scouting programs! Might also try 4H and some volunteer schemes. Common interests will give one a chance at making friends. One thing though, you say you are homeschooling.......please work on your spelling and grammar. I have friends who were homeschooled. They have a tendency to make the same mistakes that their parents made. Just saying
    Slinky
     
  8. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

    35,111
    134
    458
    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    What about sports programs? Maybe they can join something like that?
     
  9. Catch 22... want friends for your kids, but they no longer have this huge pond to select from...

    Could just be that this one family/kid doesn't mesh with you/yours... might be temporary, you never know what stress others might be having... or it could be always... but typically I don't like to try forcing friendships... adult or child.

    This is one of my concerns since we're trying HS starting July 5th... it is kinda nice to see I"m not the only one who actually frets over this. Most the info I find is just ranting about how the whole socializing thing is overrated and no big deal... but that seemed a little too positive... whereas the other side (those against HSing) rant about the poor isolated kids... way too negative... so, nice to see actual people discussing it as it applies to them, not as a hypothetical stencil for the world.
     
  10. saddina

    saddina Internally Deranged

    7,993
    10
    261
    May 2, 2009
    Desert, CA
    We have 2 outside activities for the boys at all times. Now that it's summer they have swimming and golfing (there's a grandpa & me program at some local courses, same set of kids/grandpas most weeks). They have a friend who lives 2 streets away, she's at home alone all day (12) so she comes over on most days to play and hang out. They have some acquaintances they see weekly at activities, and a few friends who come over, they're okay with that.
     

BackYard Chickens is proudly sponsored by