Friendship rules

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Lady Lavendar, Apr 21, 2009.

  1. Lady Lavendar

    Lady Lavendar Out Of The Brooder

    Mar 11, 2009
    How do you make a friendship work and last? What do you think it takes? What are some of your friendship do's and don'ts?

    How other than intimacy is a friendship different from a romantic relationship?

    My husband and I have noticed that while talking to several of our single friends that they mention having to eventually settle down and find someone they can tolerate. We think this is odd but perhaps our relationship is different than most. We got married because we were best friends first.

  2. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    Ken and I are best friends too, and with any friendship, or realtionship, one may have in this life, RESPECT is the key. Even when working with someone you cannot stand (see i have to keep my mouth shut thread), you need to be respectful.

    For those that think finding someone they can "tolerate" will bring a happy future, they are dead wrong. You have to love the other person, in friendship as well as marriage, and embrace their differences. Irritating habits seem much smaller when two people have mutual respect of each other.
  3. hennypenny9

    hennypenny9 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Ha, couldn't tell you as I have no close friends now. Friends, yes, but not "omg, I have to call my friend and tell her this!!" kind of friends. I used to, but then what we cared about changed, and it wasn't worth it for me to try to hang on to. I think the most important thing is friends that don't judge, and one's that you have things in common with. But what do I know?

    Lol, I sound like I'm feeling bad for myself, but I promise I'm not! I feel waaaay better now that I'm not trying to force myself to stay in touch with certain people. One day I felt really happy and was like "when was the last time I talked to so and so? Huh." And I realized I felt better when I hadn't.
  4. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    I guess I should clarify. My friends are Ken and one gal, Susan. I am lucky.
  5. ranchhand

    ranchhand Rest in Peace 1956-2011

    Aug 25, 2008
    DH Todd and I were friends, close friends, for 30 years before we decided to get married.

    We were friends because we didn't judge each other. We accepted, and never doubted one another.
  6. HarlansHollowFarms

    HarlansHollowFarms bana-bhuidseach anns gára

    Jan 16, 2009
    Life is a Theater.....

    Invite Your Audience Carefully.
    Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in your life.

    There are some people in your life who need to be
    loved from a DISTANCE.

    It is amazing what you can accomplish when you
    let go of those draining, negative, 'not going anywhere' relationships.

    Observe the relationships around you.
    Pay close attention....
    Which ones lift, and which ones lean?

    Which ones encourage, and which ones discourage?

    Which ones are on an uphill path, and which ones are heading down?

    When you leave certain people, do you feel better or worse?
    Which ones always have drama?
    Which ones really understand and appreciate you and the gifts that lie within?

    Remember that the people you have around you will have an impact on your life,
    your values, your dreams and ambitions.

    So be careful when choosing the people you hang out with, as well as the information with which you will feed your mind.

    We should not share our dreams with negative people, nor should we feed our minds with negative thooughts.

    The more we seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around us... the easier it will be to decide who gets to sit in the front row, and who should be moved to the balcony of our life.
    Choose wisely who will sit in your front row,

    You can not change the people around you......
    You can change the people you choose to be around


    It is not important how many friends you have. Over the years people come and go, very few if any stay. I have several friends and only one I would say is close, the one I will reveal anything to [​IMG]
    Debi is right, you must have respect.
  7. Lady Lavendar

    Lady Lavendar Out Of The Brooder

    Mar 11, 2009
    For Sean and me it's about communication, love, and laughter. That might sound corny or trite but it's kept us together for 17 years and we still act like a young couple in love. Sean says that he loves me because life with me is an adventure. He never knows what he's going to find when he comes home at night. *I'm a wildlife rehabilitator and often there are wild animals of all sorts dropped off at the house*.
  8. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

    Mar 5, 2007
    Phoenix, AZ
    One of my favorite quotes is from the show X-Files.

    “Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with” ~Dana Scully

    I think that is a very true statement. I haven't seen too many relationship work if the people involved were not friends before hand.
  9. lockedhearts

    lockedhearts It's All About Chicken Math

    Apr 29, 2007
    Personally, to me a friendship is like any relationship, it takes work.
    I have a very few close personal friends. One friend of mine has been a friend since High School, we had a falling out a few years ago, but we have made amends and have no hard feelings. I think in any relationship it is important to be able to forgive.
  10. me&thegals

    me&thegals Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 30, 2008
    I love what HarlanHollowAussies posted!

    Once you find those great friends or partner, work at it! I find my dearest friends are those who cut me a lot of slack and I cut them a lot of slack. We don't live in each other's back pockets but are very available when there's a need.

    Friendships take work and time. I have at least 1 thing in common with each dear friend, but surprisingly little overall. The main thing is that I completely respect them and their lifestyles and they completely respect me and mine.

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