Funny E-Mail

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by PoultryScienceAggie, Dec 19, 2008.

  1. PoultryScienceAggie

    PoultryScienceAggie Chillin' With My Peeps

    207
    1
    121
    Aug 27, 2008
    College Station, TX
    I hope this isn't too bad for this forum....

    DO YOU FART IN BED?

    THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS.

    THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR.

    EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.

    THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS AND NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER.

    SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS.

    SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOTSTEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATHROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD.

    ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER.

    HE SAID, 'HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT. ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU'.

    'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?' ASKED HIS WIFE.

    'WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED.'

    BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN.'
     
  2. luvmychicknkids

    luvmychicknkids Canning Squirrel

    5,679
    10
    261
    Mar 6, 2008
    Floresville, Texas
    Afraid this is going to be gone SOON but OMG I am laughing!!!!!
     
  3. smom1976

    smom1976 too many projects too little time!

    May 2, 2008
    Pensacola, FL
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  4. gapeachy

    gapeachy Chillin' With My Peeps

    686
    0
    149
    Oct 21, 2008
    Rome Ga
    I copied that and pasted in an email to all my friends ....it was so funny
     
  5. punky45

    punky45 Chillin' With My Peeps

    100
    0
    119
    Sep 27, 2008
    maine
    hahahahahahahahahahahahah:lau [​IMG]:D [​IMG]
     

BackYard Chickens is proudly sponsored by