Funny/Embarrassing/Ironic/anything stories about chickens or yourself

Discussion in 'Pictures & Stories of My Chickens' started by AwsumnessofChickens, Feb 10, 2009.

  1. AwsumnessofChickens

    AwsumnessofChickens Out Of The Brooder

    Feb 9, 2009
    [​IMG] HI! I'm from Maryland, and I have one hillarious story to tell!!! [​IMG]

    Ready to bust your butt laughing????

    Okay, so one day, i come home from school, and I run around the house with my backpack and all. I stop at the patio to drop my stuff off, and I'm watching my dog pestering our chickens. We were pretty sure that the grown Rhode Island Reds could fend for themselves, but we kept an eye out because we had two little baby roosters--about a month old, for both of them. Columbus was the bigger, braver one. Sparky was the smaller, quicker one.

    So, my dog is sniffing at Sparky, and he runs fast as he can into the coop, my fat dog trotting after him. Columbus is hanging out wif the hens. Sparky jumps up this ladder we made so the chickens could get on a shelf to roost, and begins hopping up the big planks.

    For the first two weeks, my dog was at a loss, lying boredly in the ground, but watching the chickens intently, plotting, I guessed.

    But one Thursday afternoon, the dog summons up the courage to go inside the coop--with the vicious hens inside. One of our hens who thinks she's a rooster--Danielle (Dani)--is roosting and the others are just wandering around.

    Sparky and Columbus are sitting on the planks of the wood ladder, and the hens start flapping out of the coop, smacking the dog in the head. It was funny, the dog whimpered and whined and walked over to the dung pile in the corner and starts sniffing it.

    The dung pile is under the ladder. Sparky, Columbus, and a hen we call Fat Alberta were just hanging there staring at the dog.

    Then guess what?

    You probably guessed right.

    Fat Alberta looks up for a second and then....pfffffffffffft!!! The dog has a pile of chicken dung slapped right on her head.

    The dog runs out of the coop and begins the staring thing again.

    Later in the evening, the dog comes up to the coop, and wriggles under the fence.

    She's in.

    The chickens aren't on their roosting shelf. They're on the second to lowest shelf, a foot or two over the dog's head.

    The dog didn't see anything but Columbus, who had hit the jackpot with a pile of food in the corner. He was pecking at it hastily, and the dog nudged the chick with her snout.

    Columbus looked up and shrieked a chicky scream.


    Then there was a sound.....


    I'd never seen so much chicken poo fall at once--all on a dog, too.

    Then the hens start going crazy!

    They're flying around and pooing in the air, swooping by the dog, and pooing. This kept on going until the dog fled, a little cut by the claws of the hens, terd-covered, and whooped.

    She ran under that fence and got stuck.

    Wasn't bad. She just needed to wriggle some more, but she was too exhausted too.

    The hen we call Dani waltzes right up to the dog, turns, poos, and then pecks the dog's hindquarters.

    aaaarrrooof! Whined the dog.

    Dani jumped back, her comrades and roommates.

    Fat Alberta comes up next, right next to the improper butt in their coop.

    I nearly busted my but laughing, after this.

    Fat Alberta flapped her wings, spanking the dog ruffly, and the dog whimpers and struggles away from the spanking.

    More spanking.

    Even more spanking.

    arrroooo! wooof, wooooof! owuuu! owww! the dog whimpers.

    Then a full fledged bark when Sparky starts pecking at the butt. The hens retreat into the safety of their coop.

    The dog starts wriggling like mad. Within a second, she is out and she waddles right up to the patio, looking real funny with all the white-terds on her, and how she walked so awkwardly, and her head was tinted reddish, from all the beatings.

    Dad hoses her off, and patches up the few cuts.

    He says to the dog, "Those chickens are going to get you again if you don't stay outta that coop! They already whooped you once, girl!"

    And when he and the dog looked toward the coop, the hens were standing with their chests swelled, all in a straight line against the fence.


    Okay, sorry if some of you didn't like it, but i died of laughter when it did happen.

    [​IMG] Please respond!! [​IMG]
  2. Love my Critters!

    Love my Critters! Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 15, 2008
    Carlsbad, NM
    Too cute! I bet your dog thinks twice before venturing into the coop again! [​IMG]
  3. trinity

    trinity Chillin' With My Peeps

    Feb 8, 2009
    Amarillo Texas
    heres one for you.
    My goat is having a hard time having her baby so im tring to help her.My roo(buckeye) was out of the pen and had to see what i was doing in his yard to "his goat".She let a cry out and he thoguth i was hurting her.He ran over and before i could do anyting he stuck his spur into my ankle.

    I ended up taking the goat to the vet for help two hours later it was still bleeding.I thougth well at least its clean and it all bleed out right??...wrong

    two days went by before I ended up going to the ER.yes it had to happen on a weekend!
    The nurse asked what happen(oh yeah hillbilly me lol)I told her i was spurd but he was just protecting his yard.She went out of the room and brought back two more people and made them ask me what happened.They all getting a kick out of it put animal attack on the reaosn to be seen.

    So about 30 minutes go by and the doctor comes in asking me to see the area.He asked if it was a snake when i told him it was a rooster i swear he almost passed out.He stood there looking at me,frozzen with out even blinking muchless talking.

    To lighten him up and unfrezze him i said i guess i sould have taken my sons advise and told you it was a gun shot lol.He never laughed but everyone ealse did but I know by the shock on his face he will never forget the lady who he thoght was going to have to have surgery from a rooster attack lol.
  4. keeperofthehearth

    keeperofthehearth Chillin' With My Peeps

    Awsumnees- Ohh, for a video! [​IMG] Good story!
    Trinity - that's a good one also! [​IMG]
  5. LilBizzy

    LilBizzy Chicken Storyteller

    May 20, 2008
    Awsumness [​IMG]
    That was a great story! That poor silly dog. I can picture the looks of triumph on the chickens faces. LOL you'll have to let us know if that dog ever wanders near the chickens again.
  6. bid

    bid Out Of The Brooder

    Feb 3, 2009
    Many years ago I had a small flock of game bantams. I also had a sweet little toy daushuand that had the bad habit of chasing chickens occasionally while they were out free ranging. I tried everything I could think of to break that dog from chasing chickens, but just couldn't seem to make her stop.

    One afternoon I look out the window and see this sneaky dog heading down towards the chickens, so I go outside to call her back up to the house. As I am walking out the back door I hear this dog yelping like something is trying to kill her. Now this dog comes streaking back to the house as fast as her little 4 inch legs would carry her, but she wasn't alone. There's a little banty rooster riding bareback. His wings are flapping and he is spurring this poor dog like he's riding a bucking bronc at the rodeo. Feathers are flying, dog is hollerin and I am watching in total amazement.

    Now I know a "full ride" is supposed to be 8 seconds, but I gave this rooster style points and added a few seconds. That's how "Cowboy" the banty rooster got his name and that dog never chased chickens again.
  7. trinity

    trinity Chillin' With My Peeps

    Feb 8, 2009
    Amarillo Texas
    omg dont you wish you had a camera...we photo shop a cowbot hat on him lol.[​IMG]
  8. Skip

    Skip Chillin' With My Peeps

    I have one!

    I have both cats and chickens and they get along fine (most of the time), as long as the cats are fed properly. Anyway, this was around Christmas vacation.

    I wanted desperately to go squirrel hunting. I had been wanting to all year, but never had the chance, so I took out my shotgun that very morning and went outside. I was in such high spirits at how beautiful the morning was that I let the chickens out, even though I was going to be hunting nearby. Very stupid of me.

    I reached my hunting post, loaded and waited. I had barely been there five minutes before I heard something behind me. I turned around, and there was my entire flock of chickens, happily pecking at the ground and clucking very loudly.

    Then my cats came along. They saw me and went nuts. Since I was sitting down, one climbed on my lap, another tried to nose-rub the barrel of my gun, meowing VERY loudly at WHY I wasn't giving them attention.

    Needless to say, I didn't get squirrels that morning.
  9. trinity

    trinity Chillin' With My Peeps

    Feb 8, 2009
    Amarillo Texas
    lol Animals never let you do things as planed.They are worse than kids
    i didnt know people really hunted for you eat them?
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2009
  10. Skip

    Skip Chillin' With My Peeps

    Yes, you eat SQUIRRELS (you spelled it squares... LOL). They are actually quite tasty. There isn't much meat, but what is there is wonderfully firm and flavorful, especially the hind legs, where all the good flesh is. They are a pleasure to eat, just as long as you get all the fur off. Their fur gets EVERYWHERE when you skin them. It's not too much fun to take a freshly roasted squirrel out of the oven and find it's still hairy... [​IMG]

    Squirrel tastes like chicken, BTW. [​IMG]

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