Funny stuffs

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by 44Wolves, May 23, 2011.

  1. 44Wolves

    44Wolves Here is Your New Title

    Jun 28, 2009
    Many years ago in
    Scotland , a new game was invented.. It was ruled 'Gentlemen
    Only..Ladies Forbidden'.. .and thus, the word GOLF entered
    into the English language.
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    The first couple to
    be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma
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    Every day more money
    is printed for Monopoly than the U.S.
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    Men can read smaller
    print than women can; women can hear better.
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    Coca-Cola was
    originally green.
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    It is impossible to lick
    your elbow.
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    The State with the
    highest percentage of people who walk to work:

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    The percentage of
    Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get
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    The percentage of
    North America that is wilderness: 38%
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    The cost of raising
    a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:

    $ 16,400
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    The average number
    of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:

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    Intelligent people
    have more zinc and copper in their hair.
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    The first novel ever
    written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.
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    In the
    1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed
    to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb.
    Hence we have 'the rule
    of thumb'
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    The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
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    Each king in a deck
    of playing cards represents a great king from history:
    Spades - King David
    Hearts - Charlemagne
    Clubs -Alexander, the Great
    Diamonds - Julius Caesar
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    111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
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    If a statue in the
    park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person
    died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person
    died because of wounds received in battle.
    If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of
    natural causes
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    Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4,
    John Hancock
    and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last
    signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
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    Q. Half of all
    Americans live within 50 miles of what?

    A. Their birthplace
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    Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat

    A. Obsession
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    Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until
    you would find the letter 'A'?

    A. One thousand
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    Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser
    printers have in common?

    A. All were invented by women.
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    Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

    A. Honey
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    Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the

    A. Father's Day
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    In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
    When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed
    firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase....'Goodnight , sleep tight'
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    It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a
    month after the
    wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the
    mead he could drink. Mead is a honey wine and because their calendar
    was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know
    today as the honeymoon.
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    In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old
    England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them
    'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'

    It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'
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    Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the
    rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they
    used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase
    inspired by this practice.
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    At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
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    Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you
    can read it.

    I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
    phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde
    Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
    the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the first and last ltteer be in the
    rghit pclae.. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it
    wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey
    lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
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    YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2010 when...

    1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

    2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

    3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

    4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

    5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that
    they don't have e-mail addresses.

    6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
    anyone is
    home to help you carry in the groceries.

    7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the

    8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even
    have the first
    20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you
    turn around to go and get it.

    10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee

    11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

    12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

    13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this

    14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

    15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on
    this list

    ~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~

    NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

    Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to! Go lick
    your elbow.

  2. User66184

    User66184 Songster

    Aug 23, 2010
    East Coast, Virgina
    haha! Love this! And i cant lick my Elbow [​IMG]
  3. ChickLover98

    ChickLover98 The Chicken Princess

    Apr 24, 2010
    Thats hilarious! I fell for the missing #9 one AND the elbow one! You could say I'm gullible.
  4. Big Dreamer

    Big Dreamer Songster

    Aug 21, 2010
    Central, FL
    Me and my sister could not stop laughing!! ANd all of its true!!! [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

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