Gift for the Impossible to buy for...........................

[love-my-wolves]

I have a question, my niece is 3, yet she is developmentally slow. I was saving up to buy her an Innotab, basically it's a kids Ipad ($80). What I like about it is that it is a photo/video player and a MP3 player that has a slot for SD card. We live in VA, she is in FL, and I thought this was a great way for her to "see" and interact with us, and also gives her a chance to "play" with something that feels "big-girl". However, my Brother (her dad) basically told us no way, it's too advanced for her, and that they refuse to let her have it. Mind you, it is made for kids her age, and even though she can't play with the apps and games, she can look at the pics/vids. So, any ideas what I can get her? They don't really let her play with toys, I've bought her a shopping cart with food last year, they put it in storage. I bought her a Power Wheels, they refuse to charge it. I bought her some Dora dolls and they put them up on a shelf. I'm at a loss, I really wanted to get her something that she could "see" us and know who we are. The only thing we've ever bought that they let her use is DVD's. They shut her in the bedroom and she only watches TV basically all her waking hours.

So, anyone have any ideas?

 

[debilorrah]

You are fighting a losing battle. The parents are over-protecting their child, which may or may not be appropriate for the kid. I think the best you can do is write out a nice, really sweet and loving letter to the child and send clothing or a gift card. It appears the parents are going to make ALL decisions for the child, and it is best not to rock the boat. It IS their child.

 

[urban escapee]

My nieces are that age and instead of getting them clothes they outgrow or toys that they wont remember, I get them Savings bonds, at least when they get older they will be able to have a little something from us for college or to have something to fall back on. If it sits on a shelf..all the better, the more valuable it gets.

 

[love-my-wolves]

Quote:
I know, it's so hard, this family and I have a bad history. Basically, we raised their daughter until they thought to move out of state. They refused to hold/cuddle or otherwise touch her unless it was absolutely necessary, even bottles were given propped up. Several times we looked into hiring a lawyer for neglect. She is slow because they did/do drugs and dropped her/she fell when she was an infant. (((sigh)))

But anyway, back on point, I hate sending gift cards because the parents use them to buy cigarettes or video games, and they refuse to put her in the clothes I buy because they think they are ugly. Even jeans! Should I just buy something, knowing they won't let her play with them, and just be done? Or maybe print some pics and put them in a frame for her? I just wanted her to be able to "see" us again. Before they left, we had her at least 2 nights a week, and she was doing great with her speech and health. Now she's there, and she is improving in speech, but her health has deteriorated drastically.

 

[love-my-wolves]

Quote:
This is a great idea! But I worry about her, she has some severe health issues. She gets migraines (she has a flat head from lying down constantly as a baby) and is in the hospital at least once a month for vomiting/lethargy/dehydration and the parents don't get her medical treatment for it. Sadly, medicaid isn't stepping in either, when she's admitted to the ER, they run basic tests, but when she's seen by a regular DR, they refuse to run more in-depth tests because she shows no symptoms. They diagnosed her with having a stomach bug and migraines. (Every month for the past year????)

Basically, I'm worried about her mental state as an adult, will she be mentally able to use a Bond? I really don't know much about them, could you fill me in? Thanks!

 

[kimisfishing]

take some family photos and put them on dvd for here and tell stories with the pictures. This way she hears your voice ( she will hear the LOVE) and sees pictures of everyone and she will also learn the stories of the family

 

[SourRoses]

How about buying her a PI and/or Lawyer to try and attain custody of her, as her relative?

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
I know, it's so hard, this family and I have a bad history. Basically, we raised their daughter until they thought to move out of state. They refused to hold/cuddle or otherwise touch her unless it was absolutely necessary, even bottles were given propped up. Several times we looked into hiring a lawyer for neglect. She is slow because they did/do drugs and dropped her/she fell when she was an infant. (((sigh)))

But anyway, back on point, I hate sending gift cards because the parents use them to buy cigarettes or video games, and they refuse to put her in the clothes I buy because they think they are ugly. Even jeans! Should I just buy something, knowing they won't let her play with them, and just be done? Or maybe print some pics and put them in a frame for her? I just wanted her to be able to "see" us again. Before they left, we had her at least 2 nights a week, and she was doing great with her speech and health. Now she's there, and she is improving in speech, but her health has deteriorated drastically.

I believe the bigger point here is that you believe they are abusing their child. By neglect. Is that the case, in your eyes?

 

[magicsaddlebred]

Quote:
I think thats a great idea! My younger cousin is mentally handicapped and he absolutely loves watching DVDs. His mom got him a tv for his room and he sits there and watches them over and over again and he eventually can recite them by memory. I think it would really get your point across, about how much you love this kid, if you did that. Thumbs up for the idea

 

[love-my-wolves]

Quote:
Yes, I definitely want to!!! My family are split on it, they want me to persue it completely, yet they also tell me they are probably doing the best they can. I know they will never raise her the way I think they should, but it's so hard to know what's going on. Every time I call my lawyer, they seem to know it's happening and miraculously they straighten up. Then, a few weeks later, go back to their old ways. What's doubly hard is the distance, the lawyer has to go to both courts VA and FL, as it is much harder to convince a judge to move a child several states away and the custody laws are different in both states. They also have another little one, he's 2, and another on the way. I had almost convinced her to sign over the new one, then my brother got a better paying position, and now she is all about the money she can get from him if they split and she can get child support. UGH!