Giving Kids "the talk" (Warning - Holiday Spoilers)

[Picky Chicky]

**Make sure the kids have left the room**

So the folks in my office were talking yesterday about when they themselves were told, and when they told their own kids that there was no Santa, no Tooth Fairy, no Easter Bunny and so forth.

The conversation then took a turn when I told them that my cousin's wife refused to let her daughter believe in Santa, Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy - mostly for her strict religious beliefs.

Now then... here is where I'm interested in everyone's humble opinions.

My personal opinion is that I disagree with my cousin's wife for removing the excitement and fun out of the holidays. I don't believe that there is anything wrong with letting the kids have a fun filled Christmas with Santa and reindeer stories and hopes - AND still explain to them the values of their beliefs. Sure it was a little bit of a let down when I found out that it was all make believe, but still.. it was great fun while it lasted.

Now then... I will say that to each his own, and I can't hold it against my cousin's wife because hey... that's her religion and I flat out don't understand it, but no skin off my teeth.

My problem therein lies when her kid announces to mine and other believers that there is no such thing as Santa (etc), and makes them feel foolish for believing. Granted, we can't duct tape their mouths shut. I guess another way of looking at this is... when I give DD the "other talk", she's sure to blab it amongst friends who haven't been informed - who will inadvertantly tell their parents and put them on the spot.

So does this make me a hypocrite?

I need some coffee to try and digest my random thoughts this morning.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

There's no SANTA???!!!!!!

 

[bethandjoeync]

I have explained to my son that there are things that we talk about that he doesn't need to talk to his friends about. I am not 100% sure he has kept it all to himself, but we at least cover that base before telling him things that are kind of a milestone in growing up. we repeat ourselves that our business is our business and not everyone elses.

I have been a little worried though, because having chickens he has already asked why some eggs will have baby chicks in them and some don't. we calmly told him that you have to have a rooster, so he can kiss the chicken and the next egg she has could make a chick. (yes I know we are setting ourselves up for kissing makes babies but he is 7 and I am not ready for that talk yet) But I don't think he has really mentioned it to any of his friends because no more questions have come to surface.

I hope you find a happy medium, and maybe explain to your kids that Santa only exists to kids that believe. those that don't believe don't get to enjoy the fun that it is. (could say something like you know there is santa just like you know there is air..... you can't see it but you beleive it is there) might be a bad example, but that is how we counteract things other kids say to ours. good luck!

 

[Picky Chicky]

Our DD is 7 and we still let her believe in (and encourage her to as a matter of fact) all the good holiday entities. We're not very religious but explain to her on a very high level that there is also God and that he's watching over us. We'll leave religion up to her. I have also explained to her about the birds and the bees - one day she just up and asked how babies came to be. Oh boy. It was awkward, but I always remind her that it's better to ask me (and Daddy - for some topics hehe not all) if she doesn't know and that I will tell her the truth.

Now then, one of the executives was telling me that his 5th grader son hasn't been informed that there isn't a Santa... and that for his sake, they'll tell him before he gets into Middle School. I wondered outloud to this guy if maybe his son already knows but just doesn't want to ruin the magic at home, and we agreed that it was very possible. He was nervous just the same because the summer before middle school he told his daughter this news and she about beat him up with her tennis racket.

I remember when I was a kid... I asked (maybe around 2nd or 3rd grade) if there was any such thing as the Tooth Fairy - and my parents asked if I was sure I wanted to know - I said yes, and they said nope... no such thing as Tooth Fairy. So time passed and then I asked about the big guy... nope, no Santa.

 

[chickiebaby]

ha! thought you meant the other talk. Neer had to do this one, as I am Jewish, but I do see the dilemma. We had to train our kids - who obviously never did Santa - from an early age NOT to spoil their Christian friends' fun.

They became very good at maintaining a poker face while adorable lil tots prattled on about jolly St. Nick. Don't play poker with em now!

 

[chickiebaby]

On the other hand, they totally bought the tooth fairy. Hook, line and sinker, for an embarassing number of years.

 

[babymakes6]

Hi-I guess I'm a little like your cousin. I am a Christian and I try not to ever lie. That is the biggest reason why we don't teach our children about Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc. Also, I feel that we celebrate those holidays BECAUSE of Jesus, so why does Santa and the Easter Bunny get the spotlight? If I want my children to trust me and believe me when I tell them something, I need to start when they are little. I think the biggest impact on me came when a little girl I knew found out there was no Santa. She was very upset and asked her mom if there really was an Easter Bunny either. Of course, her mom said no, it was just something fun made up for little children. Then she said, I guess Jesus really isn't real either, and her mom didn't know what to say. It took her a long time to really believe anything her parents told her after that. I don't want that to happen with my children-life is disappointing enough without me adding to it. We do give gifts at Christmas, and I think it makes them more thankful, because they know who gave them their gifts, and they didn't come by a wish from some guy who gives kids everything they want. I do tell my children not to tell others their is no Santa-they are still young, but they understand that some people believe differently than we do.

 

[conny63malies]

My oldest who is almost eight still believes in them. I will let her as long as we can. A week ago we saw a bunny in the yard and she thought it was a worker for the easter bunny soping out the yard. She knows though the the mall santas are not real but helpers. If there is no Santa why would there a Christmas in Florida and they have their roads named after Santas reindeers. Its is Santas summer home according to my DD.. Christmas is a big deal in our family and my DHs fav. holiday.

 

[wegotchickens]

My ex gave DD2 the "ain't no santa" talk before she started middle school, on the grounds that she would be ridiculed for believing. She was very sad. She wanted to believe.

I have always maintained that there IS a Santa, that we each have the spirit of Santa inside us when we give without thought for reward or repayment.

 

[Dar]

I was brought up VERY christian. My DH was a sunday school teacher until he went off to college.

In the last few years i have decided that i really dont like the commercial turn that the christian based holidays have taken.

I have scaled back in so many ways and find it very frustrating when others who have fallen for the hype look down their noises at me cause i dont want to rack up the credit cards for faith based holidays.

my children know there is no santa, easter bunny, tooth fairy, ect....however i have explained to them that it is important for them to keep it quiet when their friends are getting hyper and freaking out "SANTA COMES TONIGHT"

I think we have managed to balance very well. My kids know the stories behind the hoildays.

my oldest likes to learn about different religions and this year he tried to claim he following another faith just to get their holidays off school...

o and on the tooth fairy...my DD saves her teeth and cashes them in all at once so she gets more money...lol (she is 6)