Good friend gone bad

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by sumi, Feb 14, 2012.

  1. sumi

    sumi Égalité Staff Member

    Jun 28, 2011
    Rep of Ireland
    My DH and I befriended a couple about 6 years ago. They were both awesome people, we got along fine, did things together, the other lady and I even got pregnant just a few weeks apart. Shortly after their baby was born things changed. The guy, lets just call him B, started getting a bit funny. He would be really rude to his wife in front of me, for example. Then he started a small business to earn some money for the family. My DH supported him until the business folded because B managed to alienate his suppliers and customers with his attitude.
    He started another business, ditto.
    My DH started a small business and made the mistake of getting B on board, letting him piggyback of our business. He's too lazy to go out and work and would happily sponge of anyone stupid enough to let him or let his family starve. So we, being nice people helped them out, you know. His poor wife is suffering and the child... His wife's still amazing and we felt really sorry for them. BIG mistake.
    Recently my DH told him he cannot allow this to carry on, it's been awhile and B's just sitting around, making demands, complaining they are starving, they don't have money, blah blah. He refuses to go out and work. All hell broke loose. My DH is suddenly the biggest @#$% in the Southern Hemisphere and a bad friend etc.
    A few days ago B came round to collect some of his stuff he stored here and the next day he came screaming round saying we broke it. We actually didn't touch it, but in his mind we broke it and that's it. Realising he's not going to be able to reason with B my DH said he'll replace it. Annoying, but when you deal with fools and children... Yesterday B came round again. Saying the replacement stuff is broken. Turns out it was perfectly fine, but he was off, ranting and raving. I finally lost it and said to him he can F off, he will not come into my house and talk to me like that. We are not the ones in the wrong here! My DH came in and tried unsuccessfully to reason with him, pointing out that the goods was actually in good working order, but B stormed off, calling up some unrepeatable things as he went. I told him to go forth and multiply, in less polite terms.
    We were a bit worried, as B's MO is usually to punish people he thought wronged him, usually perfectly innocent people who simply stood up for themselves.
    We didn't have to wait long. When we got up today we found a nice big hole in our barn door and all our personal possessions gone. None of my MIL's stuff and other people's things stored in there were taken. Sadly he's too clever to do his dirty work himself and the Police in this town can't catch a cold, so reporting it is pointless. After 4 break-ins and no interest from the cops we learned not to waste our time. Believe me, living in this place can be frustrating!
    So apart from hoping he'll will run into some extreme misfortune like a bad car accident or something (I know, I'm just really mad right now), I'm just going to leave him well alone and he'd better stay far away from us from now on.
    In the meantime we are trying very hard to sell our farm so we can go far away and make a fresh start and be very careful who we befriend.
    Send selling vibes please.
  2. NixNoodleNumbat

    NixNoodleNumbat Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 1, 2011
    :hugs Wow, that really sucks.
    Good luck!
  3. reveriereptile

    reveriereptile Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 17, 2008
    Northern NY
    Sounds like you need to install some hidden security/tree cameras around to catch him on it especially if he tries anything else. If you get him on tape doing something then you might be able to get a stay away/no harassment order of protection.

    Makes me worried about his wife and child incase he is violent towards them if he is treating other people that way. If they are actually "starving" then they should be able to go to the food pantry.

    I can see getting some help in tough situations but it doesn't sound like he is doing his part in being a parent by trying to provide the income for the family while his wife takes care of the child.

    Definitely not someone you need around you causing problems. If it wasn't for him it seems like you would of had a nice friendship with the wife still.
  4. Mattemma

    Mattemma Overrun With Chickens

    Aug 12, 2009
    Cams and move asap.Sometimes even selling at a loss would be better than being in an area where this guy can reach you. Darn shame they turned out like they did. I hope you can get away from them before they do any harm to your family or livestock.Poor wife too.
  5. NYboy

    NYboy Chillin' With My Peeps

    Nov 12, 2009
    White plains
    Sorry you are going though this. Check craigslist daily for the things that where stolen.
  6. sourland

    sourland Broody Magician Premium Member

    May 3, 2009
    New Jersey
    Regardless of the inefficiency of your police force, I would suggest reporting everything hat has happened in a calm and logical fashion in writing . I would be concerned that this guy's bad behavior might escalate. There is nothing wrong with forcing the authorities to do their job.
  7. Henny peeny

    Henny peeny Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 4, 2007
    yeah I lived with a slug but didn't blame people forthing just lived off me. I am sorry to here this. Also have a friend that gives sad stories of how bad her life is and how she doesn't have money but she spend out of her range. I don't know

    I tried to help a speed freak I met and had her live with me in a apartment she had a dog and she would whistle for in in the dead of night play my radio to loud and this was either while I was sleeping or gone I couldn't keep her out and she would open a window I went to the apt manager and they said to cort order her out but I didn't have the cash I was on welfare so then the pat then evicted me and she went her way and I went mine.

    I thought I could help her but you can't help anyone that doeswn't want it no matter how much you want to I will not let anyone live with me again UNLESS it is my son.

  8. sumi

    sumi Égalité Staff Member

    Jun 28, 2011
    Rep of Ireland
    Thank you for your advice and support. Am still unbelievably angry and disappointed. And curiously relieved to finally be rid of that poisonous character! Unfortunately we live in a very small town, so I will bump into him sooner or later, hopefully I'll be able tho just turn my back on him and not punch him!
    It just makes me so sad that you cannot help people without getting yourself trouble like this. (We've had similar situations in the past, though nothing on this scale, thankfully!) I don't want to turn my back on the human race completely and ignore those in need, but once bitten... I don't know what to do! We're getting a bit tired of being used by people like this and having problems resulting from acts of kindness. This break in dealt us a huge blow financially and things were sticky before. Ironically we've still helped them though we couldn't really afford to.
    Oh man, this sucks! I just cannot believe this actually happened!
  9. ChicknThief

    ChicknThief Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 12, 2008
    Nor Cal
    Wow.... I agree with those who suggested you put up tree cams. Hopefully he feels "avenged" and will leave your belongings alone, but should that not be the case it would be nice to have some cold hard evidence against this guy.

    I'm so sorry [​IMG] I know how hard it is to lose a friend this way [​IMG]
  10. JD4570

    JD4570 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sumi, I'm really sorry you're going through this. This "friend" sounds totally irrational and dangerous. Cameras sound like a good idea, not to mention a good guard dog or two. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe you live in South Africa so I'm not sure about firearm laws there. It would be nice to have one just in case it got much worse, God forbid. I really hope the police actually catch a break and nail this guy. Just be careful. Ok?

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