Grrr...horse vent!

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Chickerdoodle13, Mar 19, 2009.

  1. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

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    Phoenix, AZ
    I've been riding horses since I was about 8 years old. I took english and western lessons, showed in 4-H for years, and even barrel raced. I used to have my own horse (My family's very first horse) and I practically had to retrain her. She really came a long way in all the years we had her, but had an accident on the trail one day when my dad took her out. Unfortunately she had to be put down. This was about 3 years ago now.

    After that horse died, we went looking for another horse and found a mexican ranch horse. Of course my dad and I sort of rushed into getting another horse so we could ride again and we didn't really take enough time to look around. We bought a sorrel quarter horse gelding for way too much money because my dad wanted a "ranch horse". This horse has been nothing but problems. He bites, he tries to kick, he throws his head so much he will sometimes rear and he's just all around untrustworthy. Of course none of these issues showed up when we bought him...but we should of known we were going to get a problem horse just for the simple fact that he was probably abused in mexico by the ranchers. THey are not so nice when training their horses.

    To make a long story longer, we also have a 27 year old palomino gelding. He's still rideable, but shows his age. He's a retired trail horse and so laid back its boring to ride him. He's a good horse, but there's not much fun in riding something that won't go faster than a walk!

    Now my dad is convinced we can fixed the other horse and has been training him a lot. We probably CAN fix the other horse with the right training and I know he's thinking of bringing out a trainer to help. The thing is, this was supposed to be MY horse and my dad won't even let me do anything with him....not even groundwork. I'm not a little child anymore...I will be 21 in less than a year. I've been around horses longer than he has and it frustrates me to no end that I have two horses and I can't ride either one. I am away at college, but I tend to be home more than I am away at school because my school is fairly close to home. I used to LOVE going trail riding and I haven't been able to ride in about a year now.

    My dad keeps throwing around the idea of going to look at horses, but then he'll give me to the ok to look at horses and then say we don't have the money. That's ok because I understand that a horse is a big expense. I'd spend the money myself, but my dad won't hear of it. I keep telling myself that I can buy my own horse when I get out of college, but in reality I probably won't be able to have one until I am well established in my career. I just don't understand why I shouldn't be able to work with my own horses NOW! I WANT to work with the mexican horse, but when I do my dad tells me I'm doing everything wrong. He doesn't want our training methods mixed up.

    My dad's a good guy, but when I try to tell him these things, its like he doesn't listen. I'm almost at a point where I may just spend the couple hundred bucks a month to lease a horse or take lessons, just to be able to ride again. My dad will think that's ridiculous because we have horses on our property. It's just one big...and very frustrating...circle. I don't think I'm being greedy...its more that I'm frustrated at having the resources I need to ride and not being able to use them! The other thing that frustrates me is my dad will take out all his "work" friends to go riding...people who have never ridden a horse before...and almost never asks me to go anymore. He asked me to go today, but it always seems something else comes up and we have to cancel. Now we are supposed to go tomorrow, but I bet you anything...something else will come up.

    Grrr...I need to go hiking!
     
  2. ksacres

    ksacres At Your Service

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    San Antonio TX
    Horses don't have vents! [​IMG]
     
  3. Cara

    Cara Chillin' With My Peeps

    Aug 30, 2007
    NM
    LOL Sounds like your dad and my husband are alike. Mine doesn't want me riding the 'problem horse', but he rarely does even if I have her caught ready. He doesn't want to sell her, but she's not going to fix herself in the pasture. If I do sell her, he doesn't want to buy another one even though my old horse is windbroke and now lame too [​IMG] It's probably better for a horse to have one consistent approach, but I work with her my way by myself, and he does it his. Not sure whose approach (if either) will pay off in the long run; his is 'you're going to do what I say', mine is 'I won't do anything that I know makes you mad, if you do the same for me'.

    Unfortunately it seems that working with horses with a close relative is usually a recipe for a good argument. My father in law and his wife leave each other alone when it comes to breaking colts/riding. We decided for the sake of our marriage that his father would teach me [​IMG] I have to start somewhere, but my husband has a habit of picking on everything that i've done wrong, rather than one thing to work on at a time. My father in law is a lot more easygoing, when it comes to me anyway. Him and my husband can have a full blown argument over nothing, but then I guess it's different when it's your own parent.
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2009
  4. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

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    Haha, sounds like it cara!

    I try to keep busy doing other things like hiking on foot with the dog, but I still miss riding a lot. My dad keeps saying "Your horse days have ended for now, but there may come a day that you'll get back into it". I don't understand his reasoning behind this because I still WANT to ride and I still have a passion for it. I'm going to start asking around for a barn to ride at and take lessons. I know it will probably be difficult seeing as how there are so few western barns around here. Hmmm...maybe I should start riding english again. That'll really get under my dad's skin!

    My dad is currently trying to sell our two horse bumper pull trailer to get an $11,000 goose neck trailer with a tack room and all this other jazz. I think this makes me angry over everything else because he keeps telling me "Oh, we'll be able to go so many places with this trailer". But I know it won't be me and him...but rather everyone else except me and him. Not too mention, I feel like he's buying the cart before the horse here. I keep telling him he can't push the 27 year old as much as he does and he doesn't seem to listen. Bottom line is if he wants to do these big horse trips, he'll need another horse. Period. Otherwise he will run the 27 year old lame. I keep telling him to just go and look at horses so he doesn't feel rushed when the time comes to buy another. I told him that he doesn't have to BUY the horses he looks at, but he might find something affordable that he likes. Just the other day he said something about how he'd like to get a colt. I just want to rip out my hair here! The LAST thing we need is another horse that needs extensive training.

    I don't know why I'm the only one who seems to see this, but it seems as if he should look around and spend the money he has on a rideable trail horse, rather than some big expensive trailer that we can't use because we have one problem horse and another 27 year old gelding.

    The other day he was telling me if I need any money just to ask. I NEVER ask for money. The only money I take from my parents is what I need to spend on groceries at college. (Just figured I'd throw that out there so you don't think I'm a whiny kid who thinks her parents are made of money) I have several jobs I work to make my own spending money and I'm a very good saver. I just wish he would see that what I REALLY want is to ride again.
     
  5. horsejody

    horsejody Squeaky Wheel

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    Waterloo, Nebraska
    Too bad you don't live closer. You could ride one of mine. If you are looking for a trail horse and don't mind something a little different, look at these people:

    www.adoptahorse.org

    That is the website for the Standardbred Retirement Foundation. SB's make awesome trail horses and are very level headed. I adopted a horse from them years ago and have not regretted it.
     
  6. farrier!

    farrier! Chillin' With My Peeps

    Feb 28, 2009
    Southern Illinois
    Boy, I wish I could say something to make things better.....

    Maybe just flat out tell your Dad you miss riding with him and wan to get into endurance riding.

    The horses keep my daughter and I close. I sure hate to see them driving anyone apart.

    Riing is fun!
    Endurance riding is addictive.
     
  7. Rusty Hills Farm

    Rusty Hills Farm Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 3, 2008
    Up at the barn
    I've had quarter horses for more than 40 years and a daughter for almost as long. [​IMG] Horses never brought us closer either. Like you and your dad, they were the cause of more arguments than I can remember. I breed and used to show. She showed as a junior. We argued over everything. She always wanted one of the mares for her own and wanted to train her her own way. I didn't think she was ready for that. One day she stopped asking and just bought her own. Looking back, I'd say that was the day she became an adult who made her own decisions and took responsibility for how those decisions turned out. It didn't seem that way at the time, but that's how it looks now. She knew she was ready to cut the apron strings. I was the one who wasn't.

    It worked out. She put an ROM on that mare, so she obviously knew a whole lot more than I was giving her credit for. It's easy to see that now, 15 years after the fact. But at the time...I was really POed at her.

    HTH

    Rusty
     
  8. Cara

    Cara Chillin' With My Peeps

    Aug 30, 2007
    NM
    Not sure if this is a possibility, back when I was still at home I had an arrangement with a lady nearby who had a livery stables. I'd clean a couple of stalls out once or twice a week, and got to ride those days in return. Perhaps try posting on Craigslist, we often have advertisements for similar arrangements in our area.

    Horses aside, this argument always comes up between parents and their children at some point. The subject at hand is irrelevant. You feel you're ready to do things your way, they still think of you as a kid. My father is still somewhat like it and i'm almost 28. I settled it in a more drastic way, and transferred to college over the other side of the world [​IMG] He can tell me what he thinks I should do, but I can let it go in one ear and out the other now if needs be.

    It doesn't have to be so extreme though, and it's not so much about proving them wrong as proving something to yourself. If you can, do what you want to do and do it your way, not to rub their noses in it but just to help them realise they've done a good job raising you. Sorry if this comes across as condescending, it's not meant that way but I don't know how else to say it.
     
  9. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

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    I don't think I'll ever get completely out of riding, but eventually I'm just going to stop asking to ride or do things with the horses. My dad always wanted me to be such a horse person and I want to be, but he holds me back. He tries to talk horse to me, but I find I answer less and less because he will only listen to what he wants to listen to. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad dearly...but when it comes to horses, he just complicates things way too much. I used to ride my mare to release stress but every time my dad came out to "watch" everything was suddenly a big deal.

    Ah well, either my dad will truly miss his riding partner (We did used to do a lot of riding together when I had my mare) or I'll eventually move on and buy my own horse.
     
  10. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

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    Thanks cara. I didn't think that was condescending at all. Its very true. I love being home and my mom and dad only treat me this way when it comes to the horses. In everything else I am treated like an adult (most of the times. My dad is very protective of his dog too which is a whole other story!). In two years I will be graduating from college and I'm hoping to move on to med school. My parents cringe when I say I want to move cross country for med school, but its something I feel I have to do. I do enjoy going to school away from home now, but sometimes 2 1/2 hours just isn't far enough!

    I would really like to get my own horse now, but I don't push the issue too much because I know I'll be leaving in two years. I will just have to be patient and wait.
     

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