Grrrr...you would think people would act like adults!

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Chickerdoodle13, Oct 30, 2013.

  1. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

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    I'm venting mostly because I just don't understand how I end up with the worst room mates of all time. In college, I had a room mate who would come back to the apartment at 4:00 am and I would find her mom sleeping on the floor of our room. My other room mate adopted a couple of mice and never cleaned the cage. One summer, I lived at an apartment with another girl for an internship who sleep walked and ate my food. She would also put her dirty toilet tissue in the trash instead of flushing the toilet...talk about an embarrassing topic to bring up! My last semester of college I had one room mate who refused to talk to me because she thought everyone was conspiring against her and another who smoked an "illegal" substance every night in the room next to mine. Ick!

    Now I'm in grad school and living with two other girls. You would think (Especially since the one is near 30 years old and five years my senior) that she would act like an adult. She has a cat, and is hardly ever here to take care of it (Our program keeps us long hours our fourth year). She lets the litter box, which is IN her room, get so dirty and stinky I can smell it in my room. She maybe cleans it every two or three weeks. She feeds the cat wet food but leaves weeks worth of dirty dishes with rotting food on the counter and doesn't wash them. It is one of the stinkiest things I've smelled, and I recently visited a swine farm!

    Her cat is terribly lonely because she is never here during the day. I don't really like the cat because he constantly bites your hand really hard when you pet him because she doesn't reprimand him for it. Due to this, I usually don't pet him. So he just walks around the house meowing and meowing. She was thinking about adopting another cat as a friend for this one, but I mentioned to her I had been thinking about fostering a dog after the holidays and into the summer for one of the local SPCAs my school is affiliated with. I could get a dog that is good with cats so that the cat could have company during the day when she cannot be home. She never mentioned to me that she didn't like this idea so I never really thought much of it.

    Yesterday, she brought home another cat. The cat is the same way as the cat she has now. I can't imagine how they are going to get along because they both seem very dominant. This cat is also a biter. She has it in her bathroom now but I am not looking forward to when she introduces them. I'm just praying they don't pee and poop all over!

    It wasn't so much the cat that bothered me, though I don't think she should have one and I was annoyed that she brought it home RIGHT before my finals for a notoriously difficult class, but the other room mate told me she started looking for a cat after I mentioned fostering a dog. We are technically allowed two animals with a single pet deposit and it's $25 a month for a third pet. Apparently she wanted to stop me from thinking about the dog but instead of TELLING me like an adult that she wasn't sure about the idea, she rushes to adopt another animal which she will not have time for.

    She's also been incredibly moody lately and it's like walking on egg shells around here just to avoid her. The other day my friend dropped me off after we went grocery shopping and he was asking when the lease to this apartment is up. The apartment allows students to leave early from the lease if they can find someone to sublet, but I wasn't sure if this room mate was still planning to do that so I asked her "Are you going to do the same thing [previous room mate] did and leave in May?". She got very nasty with me in front of my friend and then told the other room mate, behind my back, how mad she was that I asked and that it was none of my business. Apparently, she is thinking of applying for a residency internship nearby and may stay longer than this summer. I'm not really sure why she just didn't tell me that, especially since I'm the only one of the three who will be here another three years after this one. My plan was to stay in this apartment because I really, really like it.

    She doesn't clean the apartment at all, has taken out the trash maybe two times in five months, and is constantly moody or, now I find out, talking behind my back. I'm so disappointed and annoyed. I was hoping I would just deal with her until May and then that would be it, but now I find out she may be here longer. I'm trying not to think about it, but I don't know if I could deal with her for another year. I really would hate to move out of the apartment.

    Sorry, that was a long rant. Sometimes writing things down makes me realize its not really that big a deal though! I'm disappointed I may not be able to foster a dog now, but mostly annoyed that she is acting like such a child!
     
  2. cassie

    cassie Overrun With Chickens

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    Was the roommate who put the soiled toilet paper in the wastebasket from Mexico or grew up in a family that was? When I was staying in Mexico, that is what everyone did. It had something to do with the septic system. The soiled paper was taken out into the courtyard every few days and burned. As for the dirty dishes and spoiled food, I would be sorely tempted to throw the whole lot into the trash.
     
  3. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

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    She had a father who looked south American, but he had lived most of his life here and she was born and grew up in the US. Someone did mention that though and that's why I approached the subject so carefully! I wouldn't have minded so much if she didn't that in her OWN waste basket and took the trash out, but she would leave it showing on top of the main garbage, and leave it to stink all weekend!
     
  4. babylady4

    babylady4 Mother Goose

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    Wow.......

    All of the things you have mentioned are a big deal when your are trying to co-habitate. I would suggest a meeting between the three of you to discuss the issues you are having. A calm, rational discussion where all of you can get the air cleared and attempt to solve some of the concerns you have, and perhaps some your roomates have. If there is no change in attitudes or conditions then leave. At the very least you will have attempted to resolve the situation before cutting ties.

    Your education is your first priority; comfort over convenience.
     
  5. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

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    Thanks for the response. That is definitely something I will consider if things get worse.

    She introduced the cats and I think she is taking it worse than they are. They are not too happy with each, but each day they get a little better. I mentioned that it would take some time for them to get along, maybe even a month or so. She was ready to return the cat after the first day [​IMG]. So far no bad behaviors to ruin the house from either of them, so as long as that keeps up I'll be happy (The new one scratches the couches, but they belong to the room mates so I am not upset about that).

    She had a bit of an issue with me a couple of nights ago when I asked her nicely to clean a tub of rotting food that she had left on the sink for over three weeks. She stomped around, knocked into me, and slammed cabinets, but the tub did get cleaned.

    I've made it a point to be very pleasant with her. If she doesn't want to talk to me, I don't mind, as long as she is respectful of me and my things. I do hear her whispering to the other room mate at times. Still immature but if that's the worst she does, I could handle it. The other room mate leaves to do rotations at home in a couple of weeks. I'm hoping then the room mate I'm having issues with has less fuel to make my life difficult!
     
  6. GD91

    GD91 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Um, aren't cats in nature not social with each other unless they were raised together ? They may appear to get along but I'm sure I've heard somewhere that as a rule cats usually compete silently. The new cat would probably need a separate litter box etc

    She sounds like a nightmare. I would tell her to clean up or you will force action.

    In the UK there are people to contact (the health department) & it is no doubt unpleasant for you.
    Leaving old food on the side?
    Ew ....

    I'd speak very clearly in your position. If she can't do it then she should ask for help, not keep silent & let everyone else suffer.

    Got 2 dogs, a cat & a bird indoors myself, would never be that dirty though :(
     
  7. Cheeky Chick

    Cheeky Chick Chillin' With My Peeps

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    You're right-the cats need separate litter boxes! Sometimes, though, you can bring two adult cats together and they will get along wonderfully, it takes time. Sometimes dabbing a little vanilla flavoring on each of them will help (apparently this is a tried and true practice!) I'd be far more worried about the stanch (which might be the reason for her bad attitude-no sleep because of a stink...)

    I've got 2 dogs, 1 adult cat, 1 tiny kitten, and a bird inside too...nothing stinks-litterboxes are easy to scoop if you do it every day! This mess sounds like she needs help caring for herself, and should not be allowed to have pets.
     
  8. Cheeky Chick

    Cheeky Chick Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I wouldn't be so pleasant. If you can smell the litter in YOUR room, that's just not acceptable. remember something-cats are stepping into their own poop and pee to use the box...then walking all over the house...YIKES!

    If she's leaving stuff in tubs until it grows fur and barks, I'd just dump the whole thing in the garbage after 2 days. If she wants to know what happened-tell her, it was nasty, and contaminating the rest of the food in the fridge. Let her know there's no way you're going to stand for this garbage from her any more.

    Next time you take on a room mate-maybe a list of general rules that must be followed would be a good idea. We all know that life happens, and sometimes things get left on the wayside, but this is continual, and that's not fair to you. (Or the cats!)
     
  9. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

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    Thanks for the replies guys!

    She's been more pleasant lately but I've mostly just been keeping my distance.

    The cats have not been getting along and keep fighting. The old cat has not been happy and has tried to run out the door three times! When he's inside, he just sits on his scratching post looking unhappy.

    So she decided to take him back to the shelter tomorrow and I think she has realized her cat needs to be an only cat. She said she is bringing home a foster kitten but it is a special medical case and not FIV + like the other so it will be staying in her bathroom. I'm fine with that as long as things mostly go back to normal!

    Would it scare you to know she is in a veterinary med program? Haha it scares me, too!
     
  10. GD91

    GD91 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Yes , that really scares me!
    She sound absolutely thick to be quite honest & immature to boot. She is ignoring her cats stress levels by introducing strange cats repeatedly that her cat will view as a threat.
    I'm sorry, but she is not being fair on you or any of these cats. I've done a zoology course & agric to & I can tell you now that the oldest cat has confirmed it does not want a companion & also keeping any cat however ill in the bathroom is cruel & unhygienic if it's constant.
    Also sick animals are a lot of work, I fear once the novelty wears off the sick cat will just be left practically alone all day.. .. its just really a bad idea.

    Tell her to manage what she's got, if you can. Personally I would put my foot down with a big fat NO!
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2013

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