Guys, I expect to take heat for this, but help me out here!

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by I have WHAT in my yard?, Apr 22, 2009.

  1. I have WHAT in my yard?

    I have WHAT in my yard? Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 24, 2008
    Eggberg, PA
    I have been married to my wonderful hubby for ten years. No, I don't take him for granted and no I am not going anywhere..... But....


    But Dh has gained 25 lbs this past winter! I know he is stressed and that this is part of it, but he has high blood pressure and I am worried as well as being really turned off by the belly!

    How do I help him without sounding critical? [​IMG]
     
  2. Mandalina

    Mandalina Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 1, 2009
    Savannah,MO
    I have a similar issue with my DH, when he last got his cholesterol checked it was 273. That is plain out not good.
    I hve been changing the eating habbits. As the grocery buyer i make the choices about what we eat, so i have added more fish into his diet, stopped buying soda, getting more veggies and making side salads.I have also cut down frying anything to maybe once a month.
    As for excersice I have started asking him to take the kids for walks while i get our littlest to bed. He found after the first walk he was very tired and didnt like that, so he has been offering to take the boys out to the pond and back bc he has finally realized that the weight is doing more to him than he thought.
    You can sit down and talk to him and tell him that you are worried about his health. He may get a little miffed, but at least you care enough to tell him and want to change this so he lives longer.
    Good luck!
     
  3. Lunachick

    Lunachick Chicken Slave

    Mar 19, 2007
    Brick, NJ
    I know what you mean by the belly. Maybe you could ask his regular Doc to say something to him when he goes in for his next visit? Or you could ask him when his baby is due.....[​IMG] But seriously, my hubby gained big time but it's his meds (prednisone) that made him blow up. It's very discouraging. I guess I just have to get used to it. He's still DH just a larger version.
     
  4. HennysMom

    HennysMom Keeper of the Tiara

    You can change your cooking to reflect a healthier style and he wont even know it. You can switch your soda to diet (if he drinks soda), switch from sugar to non-sugar or Stevia/Splenda type of things. Low carb cooking isnt that bad or hard to do and cutting back on fat and calories isnt that hard either.

    I know your pain. My DH needs to lose about 30 lbs and I worry terribly about him. He just doesnt process carbs in a good way at all, he looks at a carb and gains weight, I'm not kidding. The only way for him to lose weight is to cut out carbs all together and anything refined. Even GOOD CARBS he must watch very carefully as well as even natural sugars, such as fruits.

    Its very very hard, but its doable. the key is, as you said, not to be overcritical here. He is probably feeling very vulnerable and is very self consciencious of himself - they are sometimes more critical than we women are. My DH has lost it before twice - and this past time he lost doing a modified SouthBeach kind of thing. We have this thing called 6 Week Body Makeover where he did his specific Body Type (he is a B where I am an E) and it WORKS - honest to goodness it is so very true to form. He processes carbs and proteins differently than I do, he cant have them at certain times and when he follows it to the plan, he loses weight. The first 2 weeks he did it the last time, he dropped 12 lbs! Then stress hit and he didnt follow it... and he put it back on.

    It CAN be done... and its cooking all of your own foods, not some boxed stuff or special foods. Its just healthy cooking. I've gone back on it myself starting this past Monday (modified Southbeach / 6 Week Body Makeover) and so far I've lost 2 lbs already! [​IMG]

    Hugs to you hun,
    Deb
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2009
  5. sred98

    sred98 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 18, 2008
    Oklahoma
    Just start buying healthier food for you both. Get rid of the chips and cookies! Buy fruit and veggies instead. Take an evening walk with him after dinner. Change both of your habits, rather than harping on his weight. (Not that you are!)

    If you change both of your eating habits, it won't seem like you are being overly critical. Make him lunches to take to work, rather than him eating Fast food at lunch. Little things like that.

    Shelly
     
  6. Davaroo

    Davaroo Poultry Crank

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    Feb 4, 2007
    Leesville, SC
    I have WHAT in my yard? :

    I have been married to my wonderful hubby for ten years. No, I don't take him for granted and no I am not going anywhere..... But....


    But Dh has gained 25 lbs this past winter! I know he is stressed and that this is part of it, but he has high blood pressure and I am worried as well as being really turned off by the belly!

    How do I help him without sounding critical? [​IMG]

    How do you say it without sounding critical? You dont.
    How could he say it to YOU without the same reaction? He couldn't.
    But you need to say it if it bothers you bad enough to share it in open forum. Just be gentle and accepting of his reaction.​
     
  7. pdsavage

    pdsavage Sussex Monarch

    Mar 27, 2008
    NW,Missouri
    No matter what I do it doesnt work,even little changes he gets so cranky about.He wont change his drinking,smoking and bad eating.
    I have given up,and its getting harder and harder to just smile and live with it...
    Its hard to watch him slowly kill himself....And yes his gut doesnt help matters at all...
    Some men just dont have what it takes to change...like will power...
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2009
  8. Picky Chicky

    Picky Chicky Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Sep 22, 2008
    Holly Grove, VA
    Unfortunately in our house it's the opposite. I was put on some temporary medication over the winter that caused my weight to jump up 42lbs!! Now that I'm off the medication I can't seem to lose it. So far I've lost about 12lbs but I have completely stalled out.

    Of course DH being the wonderful man that he is says that my weight gain hasn't bothered him, but ladies and gentlemen - let's get real - I am certain it's not attractive. I don't want to be a stick figure, but I sure wouldn't mind seeing 145 again! [​IMG]
     
  9. HennysMom

    HennysMom Keeper of the Tiara

    Quote:thats the problem... you cant MAKE him change.. he has to want to do it for HIMSELF.

    the more you tell someone they HAVE to do something.. the more they will resist it - its proven.

    If you want to know how to approach the issue of weight, like Dave said - reverse it and see how you would want to be approached yourself? How would you feel if your DH said "oh by the way.... know you had kid(s) but your thighs, butt, stomach, breasts, stretchmarks are a big turn off for me..."

    OUCH....
     
  10. Lil_Chickadee

    Lil_Chickadee Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Feb 11, 2009
    WV
    I figure he already knows, he'll deal with it himself when the time comes. I know for me someone else noticing and mentioning it wouldn't help me any cause I already know and it would already be bothering me.
     

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