Happy/Sad/Confusing Day Today

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by redhen, Dec 23, 2008.

  1. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    My foster son (whom has been with me for about 1 1/2 years..) had his Bio-parents visit him today at my house...he hasnt seen them since he was about 7 years old..he's 17 now....they had their parental rights taken away for neglect....this child has been in several,several foster homes in his life and even a residental faculity(for his behaviors) at one point...the part that is SO heartbreaking..ALL these years this boy has pined for his "real" parents..and his real brother(who has been adopted)...he remembers everything about them SO clearly...well..he will be 18 in May..so..we all( me,case workers and therapist) decided that they would check in to his parents wearabouts...see how they were living..etc...BECAUSE our fear is..when he turns 18..he can walk out the door and go to them...and his I.Q being only 71..well.....you understand our concern...so, the case worker went a few home visits to the bio-parents home...and they(state) decided that they seem to have "somewhat" gotten their act together..and decided to give this child what he has always wanted..contact with his parents again(of course they can never have their parental rights back...but..)...for a month now..he has been having speaker phone only calls (with his therapist there)..and they all went very well...so, the case worker called a few days ago..and asked my opinion on him bringing the parents to my house for an hour visit...i said its okay with me...i really think this child needs "some" contact with his parents...and if they have changed and are getting better...i saw no problem with it. So, they came over today..and it was so heartbreaking for me!...the mother (who is about 500lbs..and could barely walk up my front ramp..) was crying..the father was also..and i saw real love there(i also found out today that the parents have been bringing david birthday/christmas gifts to the state workers EVERY year..but, david never recieved them..because their rights were termanated....they had ALL those gifts saved for him!!..[​IMG]..)...and i took to them right away...i mean i can see they DO have some problems....its evident right away...but..their heart is ther for their son(you can honestly just tell...i have dealt with so many parents...these ones DO love their son)...the father seems a bit slow also...so..i'm thinking that may be a BIG reason the state took him away..the parents just didnt know how to parent...the fathers words were barely understandable...etc....so, i brought them in..tried to make them comfortable...i took the dad out back to see the animals....he loved them...i offered him some fresh chicken/duck eggs..you should have seen his face light up..he said he hasnt had them since he was a kid..and was so thankful.....i also made mom some soap for david to give her(for a x-mas gift)...and told her how david picked out the colors/scents just for her..etc..and i also sent them home with a french meat pie(their french canadian also..like my mother)...i dont know...this just touched me so much today...it broke my heart to see them all weeping when they had to leave....and yet..i was SO happy for David..(what a great christmas gift for him!)...and yet..confused..because...this child has had so much pain in his life...[​IMG]
  2. luvmychicknkids

    luvmychicknkids Canning Squirrel

    Mar 6, 2008
    Floresville, Texas
    Oh........I just don't know what to say. I am all teary right now and can't really see the keyboard anyway. [​IMG] You are good. Very good.
  3. what was i thinking

    what was i thinking Chillin' With My Peeps

    Oct 1, 2008
    cny ny
    you are my hero. i always ask my husband if we can take in foster kids. i had all the paper work to put in when i got together with him seven yrs ago. he doesn't like the idea. some day if he isn't here anymore.... i will have them. god bless your heart.
  4. Chicken Woman

    Chicken Woman Incredible Egg

    Oct 16, 2008
    How is he feeling after visiting with them ?
    It was so nice of you to offer your home for them to visit him !
    Sometimes parents that get there children taken away are not bad people but just don't know how to care for a child properly !
    You gave Him a wonderful gift !
    I think you did a very unselfish thing.

    I have an adopted son who is 11 and I have had him since he was 7 days old. I know that in the future if he is ever interested in seeing his birthmother I will do everythimg I can to make that happen. I would not feel threatened at all as we are very close and he knows who his mom is.
    I will be praying for him as he goes out on his own soon.
  5. Linda in San Diego

    Linda in San Diego Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 11, 2008
    San Diego
    what a happy/sad/confused day!

    I have feeling that you're right - - parents lost rights because they were low functioning.

    Thank you for your welcome, and understanding.

    I am not sure what will be next, but I am sure you will find the right path. Thank you for your TLC
  6. Nikki28

    Nikki28 David Bowie is my co-pilot

    Dec 15, 2008
    [​IMG] How sad imagine the heartache they have been through all these years! You wonder if there had been more of a community to help them and push them along if things wouldn't have been different. Mind you I don't know the whole story but it sounds like they really love their son (I trust your judgment [​IMG] ) At least he has a great home with you and knows that his biological parents really do love him. ((sigh)) you are such a strong person. Keep up the good work.
  7. Cackel

    Cackel Chillin' With My Peeps

    Nov 17, 2008
    See there really is a SANTA
  8. WriterofWords

    WriterofWords Has Fainting Chickens

    Dec 25, 2007
    Chaparral, New Mexico
    That took a lot of guts and a huge heart on your part, there is a special place waiting for you.
  9. sara

    sara Title Needed Here

    I think that's nice that he got to meet his biological parents, and that you can tell they love him. My sister is a foster parent, and some of the situations are so heartbreaking. Keep up the good work! [​IMG]
  10. Bock_Bock

    Bock_Bock Chillin' With My Peeps

    Dec 13, 2008
    Hayward, Ca
    but once they turn 18 arent they out of the system, i was in foster care, when i lived in stockton, i was released back to my parents before i was 18, but im preatty sure once your 18 they consider you an adult and you are released out of the system so he can go back to his parents

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