Hard Loss of a beloved Hen; advice please!

[Kuntry Klucker]

Hi Everyone,

I hope that this is the right forum for this post, if not admin I apologize.

We had the first had loss of our favorite hens last night.
She was plagued with egg yolk peritonitis in addition to being an old girl
of 9 years.

I tried to treat her with antibiotics and other care for several weeks. It was clear that
she was not going to recover and that she was just suffering while I was trying to help her.

After realizing this I looked for end of life solutions. I tried to see if a vet would put her down but
they said they do not see "Farm" animals despite already being a client in vet care for
my cat. Other vets would not see me unless I was already a client. So that came to a dead in
quick.

I was then faced with doing to task myself. After researching methods to despatch a sick hen
and reading other people's reports I decided that the most fail safe method was the hatched to
the neck in the form of a quick and clean deception. I ached knowing that I was going to have to
do this to my favorite hen but other methods were just not as clear to me and I felt that this
was the safest route ending in a quick parting for my beloved girl. She was the first hen that I have had to cull, other that were sick either died quickly after taking ill for I would just find them dead in the coop as they aged passed the 7 to 8 year mark.

Well as fate would have it, I was ready to cull her and as I heaved the hatched down
to her neck I missed!! I was horrified, I could not believe that I missed! I stuck her but
not with a fatal blow I wanted to achieve. So as I regained my
strength fighting back tears I swung again and this time completed the most difficult tasks of my life thus far. She flopped and did the stuff that I was warned would happen.

What bothers me is this. After careful planning a research in order to send my beloved girl
to the beyond in a quick and hopefully fleeting painless method I screwed up. I wanted
nothing more that to give her the last gift of love with a gentle passing.

It haunts me to think that pain she was in when I missed. It terrifies me that think that the girl
who loved me so much was probably wondering why I caused her so much pain. I cannot sleep,
eat or anything, I am just haunted at the turmoil and suffering I caused her all in the efforts to end
her suffering.

For anyone who has been down this road please tell me how you recover. I am not sure what
to do. I am stuck in a hell that I created all because I was trying to do my beloved feathered friend the best favor that I could.

Please no negative comments, I am already traumatized beyond what I can handle. I am need some help in guidance in how to begin to heal for such a sorrowful tragedy.

thank you in advance.

 

[Brahma Chicken5000]

I am so sincerely sorry for the loss of your nine year old hen. It is always hard on me to lose a pet. I’ve had a beloved pullet pass away right in my arms and there was nothing I could do. I know that you are beating yourself up about how the end went, but I’m sure she understood that you were doing the best for her. Taking the life of a living creature is never easy and if you have feelings of guilt that’s normal (if you didn’t that would be a problem). Focus on the good times that you had with her and know that she is happy in heaven.

 

[New2chicluv]

Let alone that being a hard decision, I'm sure that was the hardest thing to do. I cried reading it. Each of us knows that day will come. We dread it. The first time will never be easy, even if everything goes right, dont beat yourself up because it didnt. Forgive yourself and know she is at peace.

 

[Thyme4Chickens]

My heart goes out to you. I have not been in a situation such as yours, but I can hear echoes of my own thoughts during a time of extreme sorrow and stress in my own life when reading what you wrote.

Do you have a local support system? Family, friends, church? People you can talk to and they will just listen with you instead of trying to "fix" anything?

You have been through such a trauma. When your mind starts to torment you with thoughts of what your beloved hen may have been experiencing, gently bring your mind back to this fact: when your first stroke didn't do the job, you had the incredible focus to do what your hen needed, and you swung again.

Really, that was amazing compassion - you didn't "fall to pieces", you did what your hen needed.

 

[Krazyquilts]

Hi Everyone,

I hope that this is the right forum for this post, if not admin I apologize.

We had the first had loss of our favorite hens last night.
She was plagued with egg yolk peritonitis in addition to being an old girl
of 9 years.

I tried to treat her with antibiotics and other care for several weeks. It was clear that
she was not going to recover and that she was just suffering while I was trying to help her.

After realizing this I looked for end of life solutions. I tried to see if a vet would put her down but
they said they do not see "Farm" animals despite already being a client in vet care for
my cat. Other vets would not see me unless I was already a client. So that came to a dead in
quick.

I was then faced with doing to task myself. After researching methods to despatch a sick hen
and reading other people's reports I decided that the most fail safe method was the hatched to
the neck in the form of a quick and clean deception. I ached knowing that I was going to have to
do this to my favorite hen but other methods were just not as clear to me and I felt that this
was the safest route ending in a quick parting for my beloved girl. She was the first hen that I have had to cull, other that were sick either died quickly after taking ill for I would just find them dead in the coop as they aged passed the 7 to 8 year mark.

Well as fate would have it, I was ready to cull her and as I heaved the hatched down
to her neck I missed!! I was horrified, I could not believe that I missed! I stuck her but
not with a fatal blow I wanted to achieve. So as I regained my
strength fighting back tears I swung again and this time completed the most difficult tasks of my life thus far. She flopped and did the stuff that I was warned would happen.

What bothers me is this. After careful planning a research in order to send my beloved girl
to the beyond in a quick and hopefully fleeting painless method I screwed up. I wanted
nothing more that to give her the last gift of love with a gentle passing.

It haunts me to think that pain she was in when I missed. It terrifies me that think that the girl
who loved me so much was probably wondering why I caused her so much pain. I cannot sleep,
eat or anything, I am just haunted at the turmoil and suffering I caused her all in the efforts to end
her suffering.

For anyone who has been down this road please tell me how you recover. I am not sure what
to do. I am stuck in a hell that I created all because I was trying to do my beloved feathered friend the best favor that I could.

Please no negative comments, I am already traumatized beyond what I can handle. I am need some help in guidance in how to begin to heal for such a sorrowful tragedy.

thank you in advance.

Aw, honey. You did the best you could and that's all that matters. Please don't blame yourself. You gave her a good life.

 

[Folly's place]

So sorry! You did your best, and it was necessary. And you did come through for her, in spite of everything. It's not always possible to be 'perfect', but she's in a better place now, when she couldn't recover.
My oldest hens have been nine years old, a very respectable age. I've been there and done that, and it's never ever easy.
mary

 

[Tesumph]

Don’t beat yourself up. It happens, but no one likes to talk about it. It’s happened to me twice. I was culling two mean roosters and cut the throat of the first one and walked away because I didn’t like to see him struggle. When I came back he was still alive and I realized I didn’t cut deep enough. It was very messy and I felt horrible.
Second time was just recently with my ferret. I’d rather not go into the details but it was very late at night/early in the morning, no vet near me or even open, his bladder burst from the illness he had and he was in severe unrecoverable pain. I didn’t have on hand what I needed to euthanize him and ended up prolonging his suffering. My husband had to shoot him. It was the worst thing I’ve ever done and I still beat myself up over it. I cried my eyes out for 3 days and could barely function. Keep in mind I grew up in the country, worked in a vet clinic and as a ranch hand, had to cull plenty of suffering animals myself.. this was the worst by far. He was my baby and I was trying to help but I felt like I should’ve done more.

But I couldn’t do more, and neither could you. We couldn’t plan for what happened. Our babies were loved dearly up until the very last moment and they knew it. Whatever happened is done now, you can’t take it back, and they aren’t suffering anymore. It’s okay to cry, but do not beat yourself up please. What’s important is that you did what was best for her, and when it went wrong you didn’t run from the responsibility like many people would have.

 

[Mrs. K]

This is called the ‘coup de grace’. It is not easy, it is very hard. However, I think you are focusing on the wrong aspect. You did do it. If you had not done it, chances are she would have had hours or days more of suffering, not the less than the minute that you took to refocus and do it. You did not bail or quit, you pulled up your big girl panties and did it.

Focus on the life you gave her. It sounds like she had a pretty good life and a quick end. I doubt she questioned you at all, probably more aware of the sickness, not really aware of the hatchet at all.

Be proud of yourself, you did it.

 

[CannedMonster]

I would practice with the hatchet.
Since your area vets can't/won't help and you will probably have to do it again at some point, take a block of wood, draw a line on it, and practice hitting that line until you get good at it.
I know it was missing the first time that upset you so much and it would upset me too.
I had to cull a suffering chick at 4 weeks.
I had to ask my husband because I've never culled anything before and I knew he would do it quickly & efficiently.
But I know he may not always be there so I need to learn how to do it too.
I hope the words from those who responded on this thread have helped in some way.

 

[Folly's place]

I'm not sure why your local veterinarian wouldn't help here. Maybe call again or visit the office? Did you talk to the wrong receptionist?
It would be good to contact several area veterinarians, when there's not a disaster happening, and/ or visit, so you can maybe line up someone who will help you and your flock.
I do shoot varmits caught in live traps with my 22g, and it's an option for an ailing hen too. Right in the head, fast and humane.
Mary