Have a friend that can't stop talking about their other friends?

[safarichick101]

I have this friend that moved from scotland in september and I've been friends with her since then. At first I think she was grateful that I was there for her. I was always nice and loved that I had a new friend. But now that she has gotten used to this town she can't stop talking about her new friends. I don't have any classes with her but I see her on the bus and she's always talking about her inside jokes with her other friends and funny things that happen with her friends. At first I tolerated it because I was happy that she was making friends and was happier but now thats all she talks about. It kinda seems like she is bragging in a way. She knows I don't have many friends and I think she's rubbing salt in my wound. Metaphorically. I kinda think she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. People already like her more than they ever liked me because she has a scottish accent. People dislike me for things I can't explain. She will tell me about a certain person that happens to be really rude to me.. so I simply reply.. I don't think that person likes me very much. I don't understand it. I'm nice to everyone. I try to be there for everyone. I'm in ms, can you tell? What do you think I should do?

 

[bumpershoot]

I would try and have conversations with this gal on things that interest both of you, not about people. Do you read the same books? Have any of the same classes? Sports, pets, fingernail polish as common interests? Even as adults we sometimes grow apart from our friends and then, sometimes we grow back together again. Sometimes we don't. It's normal. Feeling socially weird is normal in MS.

 

[elijahboy]

when she starts talking about her other friends simply interrupt and start talking about something else asap and start talking about something you like and make it sound the best in the world i have learned that people cant stand that as i do that all the time when people bore me

or as soon as she says the other friends name interrupt and say nnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiccccccccccccccccceeeeeeeeeeeeee and she will have a look like an ostrich and shut up

 

[thebritt]

I know this may not help right now, but after high school, it's all water under the bridge. My millionth class reunion is coming up and to be perfectly honest, I have absolutely zero interest in seeing any of those people again (luckily, I now live 1/2 the country away). They were always cliquey (sp?) and didn't seem to have any interest in getting to know me. The couple of true friends I made in HS wouldn't waste their time seeing those people again either. I made so many more friends in college (several of which I'm still very connected to) and through my job. Lifelong friends that were there when my daughter was born (19 yrs ago

!) and are still there now. Hang in there!
Oh, and the suggestion to "redirect" conversation away from her other friends is a good one.

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

I've had several friends like that. One "friend" in particular always talked about his "best friends", none of which were me. This always hurt because I always considered him one of my best friends.

Over the years I've known several people who seem to like to focus or talk about a single thing. Really gets on my last nerves sometimes! A lot of times I have just moved on and found new friends. Sounds like you might have to do the same thing with this girl! As another poster mentioned, high school doesn't last forever, and in college you will find people who will accept you for you. I always found many of the people who surrounded me in high school to be much less mature than I was, and sometimes this made it difficult to connect with people.

 

[MamaDoula]

It sounds like she admires you a lot as a person, if secretly, to want to get your approval so badly! She might be a hair insecure, and needs to have you know that she has other relationships, and hear what you think of them. (Think small toddler showing mama every little rock he finds in the yard!) I have a "confidant", quiet personality, too, and it drives me nuts, also, when friends do this. Hang in there! Branch out, if you can, and find someone who's looking for more of a two-way relationship.

 

[SillyChicken]

sounds like she's trying to share her experiences... and maybe she really misses her other friends. In the long run, none of this stuff thats bothering you is going to matter a hill of beans! I know when you're younger it all seems important, but it's not. One of the things I ask myself when something bothers me is.. does this have a real impact on my life? does it add value to my life to feel this way? You're in control of how things make you feel.

Mama Doula probably nailed it!