Have you ever had someone do this to you?

[tazcat70]

Ok I will start off with this is a rant..... I am so mad I could spit nails!

I am not sure if you all remember but we recently (4 mos) adopted a newborn baby boy. Our second youngest child is almost 7 and so it has been an adjustment. I care for him about 23 hrs of the day, my husband may play with him for about an hour. (This is NOT the rant, just giving you information leading to the rant.) So needless to say it has been a busy summer. My father gave me some tomato plants for my "garden" and they sat on the porch for about a month before I was able to get them in the ground. At that point, I just plunked them in the untiled ground, surrounded by grass. I then put up a makeshift fence so my free ranging chickens wouldn't get to them.

At no point did my husband offer to help, he would just complain about the weeds and that I did it half------all wrong.

Well yesterday I was looking for bugs on them, and a green tomato came off. Next thing I know he is weeding the tomatoes and tying them up, "I think I broke a limb, but it will still be better this way." And taking down my makeshift fencing..."I would rather the chickens eat all the tomatoes than the bugs."

Well today I go out, and sure enough he is getting his wish. All my BIG tomatoes are gone, the cucumber leaves on one plants are shredded, and I am fuming

MAD!

Well I put the fence back up and all I can hope for is that maybe I will get some tomatoes. Heck I am not a HUGE tomato lover, and I loved to feed them to the chickens last year....

I think my biggest problem is why.....Why did he do this? Yes it wasn't the best garden, but I was proud that I even found the time to get them in the ground, and to make sure that they got watered....

Sigh........

Ok I am done. I know he is a JERK.....has been from about day 31....(on his best behavior before that.) In fact I tell people who are going to meet him, that know me, that he is one.

If you have read this far thanks! I needed the support!

 

[Katy]

My hubby knows better than to even think about going into my garden!!

Hopefully yours will learn too.

 

[asher]

I understand and that's all I'm gonna say `bout that.

 

[Enchanted Sunrise Farms]

Oh gee, i'm sorry. Sounds very frustrating. And, i don't mean to offend any men on this board, but i have a couple of suggestions. i only have these suggestions because of a very good friend who is a psychology major and my resident expert on men.

If you do want a man to do something, tell him very specifically what you want him to do - no drama, no anger, just simple facts "Honey, will you please help me plant these tomatoes?". If you don't want a man to do something, be very clear also. Tell him, "Please honey, let me tend to the garden unless i ask you for help, because i have a plan in mind".

i think partners want to be helpful, and if you are just as clear and neutral as you can be, it makes things go much better. Of course, if you are married to an arse, then i suggest 1. Counseling, or if that doesn't work then 2. Divorce.

Of course, if you just wanted to rant about your husband pissing you off, that's cool, too! Hey, i feel your pain! i get P-Oed at my poor guy on a regular basis.

 

[Cassandra]

Quote:
I hear ya, sister! Me too. And about 80 percent of the time, he really deserves it!

Cassandra

 

[SpottedCrow]

Mine mowed my garden a couple of years back and got his a$$ handed to him...
Needless to say, he asks where to mow now.

 

[ams3651]

Im "do it now" my boyfriend is "do it right" sometimes I appreciate that, sometimes I could come up behind him with a hammer.........

is it possible he feels left out of it all?? Some times guys like to feel needed and its a good thing to ask them to help you with "guy" things. Mine likes me because Im independent but I can tell he likes when I ask his opinion about coop building, etc.

 

[chickenzoo]

I had to mark all my plants with that bright orange flagging tape( yard looked like flag day) so mine did not run over them with the mower or pull them as weeds.

He still managed to mow down one of my rosebushes with bright Flagging tape on it, but the look on his face when he realized what he did was priceless!

Now he's more careful or he'll be flagged...

 

[deb1]

Quote:
It took me half of my marriage to figure this simple rule out. Men think differently then women. My life got so much happier when I realized that I had to tell my husband what I wanted him to do. Once I started doing that, I discovered that he really wanted to make me happy.

 

[Break an Egg]

I agree with Deb1 that's about the jist, he can't read your mind. I also agree that he shouldn't be making the decisions in your garden. Don't banish him completely because then you will never get any help out of him. Just remind him once in a while that he's not always right.