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Henpecked Husbands

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by mjdtexan, Apr 7, 2009.

  1. mjdtexan

    mjdtexan Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 30, 2008
    Houston(ish)
    HENPECKED HUSBANDS


    [​IMG]

    1. He wears the pants in the house – under his apron.

    2. He has two chances of winning an argument with her, slim and none.

    3. She leads a double life – hers and his.

    4. He comes right out and says what she tells him to think.

    5. She does not have to raise the roof, all she has to do is raise an eyebrow.

    6. The only time he opens his mouth is to ask her for the apron and the vacuum cleaner.

    7. He always has the last word – he says, “I apologize”.

    8. She snaps “are you a man or a mouse – squeak up”.

    9. He was a man about town, she has turned him into a mouse around the house.

    10. The last big decision she let him make was whether to wash or to dry.

    11. She tames to be pleased.

    12. He put a ring on her finger and she put one through his nose.

    13. He can’t even open his mouth to yawn, she complains he is causing a draft.

    14. He was a dude before marriage – now he is subdued.

    15. He married her for her looks, but not the kind he’s getting now.

    16. He even has to ask permission to ask permission.

    17. She lost her thumb in an accident and sued for $100,000,
    because it was the thumb she had him under.

    18. She even complains about the noise he makes, when he is fixing his own breakfast.

    19. He worships the ground she gives him the run – around on.

    20. He goes to a woman dentist – it’s a relief to be told to open his mouth instead of to shut it.

    21. When he is late for dinner he gets two kinds of meat,
    ‘hot tongue’ & ‘cold shoulder’.

    22. He should have been warned, when he carried her over the threshold after they were married,
    that she couldn’t wait to put her foot down.

    23. Every once in awhile she comes to him on her bended knees.
    She dares him to come out from under the bed.

    24. He has to hold his pay envelope up to the light,
    to see if he got a raise.

    25. She wants to go to the seashore, claiming that mountain air disagrees with her.
    He can’t see how it would dare.
     
  2. Buff Hooligans

    Buff Hooligans Scrambled

    12,147
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    Jun 11, 2007
    Quote:I like these two.
     
  3. English Chick

    English Chick English Mum

    Jun 27, 2008
    Cheshire UK
    I like all of them.......... it's the natural order of things ..... [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  4. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    5. She does not have to raise the roof, all she has to do is raise an eyebrow.

    That is about the only one that is true in our house. I wonder how couples stay married when one pushes the other around. [​IMG]
     
  5. arabookworm

    arabookworm Chillin' With My Peeps

    666
    0
    139
    Oct 27, 2008
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Quote:lol!
     
  6. toletiquesbysam

    toletiquesbysam Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 19, 2008
    Nebraska
    Quote:I agree completely, if I were that way my DH wouldn't put up with it and I couldn't have married him if he would!!
     
  7. Buff Hooligans

    Buff Hooligans Scrambled

    12,147
    53
    311
    Jun 11, 2007
    Quote:I agree completely, if I were that way my DH wouldn't put up with it and I couldn't have married him if he would!!

    Yeah, mine too. He'd hit the highway if I were to change from being the mild-mannered, agreeable, wonderful human being that I most obviously am. (hah.)
     
  8. toletiquesbysam

    toletiquesbysam Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 19, 2008
    Nebraska
    [​IMG] It's probably good to remind them of that once in a while!! [​IMG]
     
  9. Whispering Winds

    Whispering Winds Chillin' With My Peeps

    Quote:I agree completely, if I were that way my DH wouldn't put up with it and I couldn't have married him if he would!!

    Yeah, mine too. He'd hit the highway if I were to change from being the mild-mannered, agreeable, wonderful human being that I most obviously am. (hah.)

    We need to start a club. . .I can just see me telling my DH what to do and when to do it. I always wondered how those women did it!!!!
    [​IMG]
     
  10. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    Personally I think any woman who says they do those thing sto their husbands are liars. [​IMG] Dishes? Not in a million years would Ken enter the kitchen except for a beer.

    8. She snaps “are you a man or a mouse – squeak up”.

    I'd be a very lonely woman if I spoke to Ken like that.
     

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