Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by BettyR, Nov 14, 2008.

  1. BettyR

    BettyR Songster

    Mar 1, 2008
    Texas Gulf Coast
    When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
    her someplace expensive.....so, I took her to a gas
    station..... and that's how the fight started....

    I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller
    Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for
    $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than
    the cold cream....... And that's how the fight started.

    After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to
    apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me
    for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my
    pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman
    that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back
    later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I
    opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said,
    'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security
    application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
    Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You
    might have gotten disability, too'...... And that's how the fight

    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
    reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as
    she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know
    her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand
    she took to drinking right after we split u p those many years
    ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who
    would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'...... And that's
    how the fight started.....

    I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were
    alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his
    car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things
    just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a
    DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and
    shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well,
    then which one are you?'....... And that's how the fight started.....

    I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
    reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak,
    medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about
    the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.'...... And that's how
    the fight started.....
  2. Guitartists

    Guitartists Resistance is futile

    Mar 21, 2008
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
  3. mullers3acers

    mullers3acers Songster

    Oct 9, 2007
    la porte, In
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
  4. agnes_day

    agnes_day Songster

    Aug 29, 2008
    those were great!!!! [​IMG]:weee:weee
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 14, 2008
  5. Beau coop

    Beau coop Songster

    May 19, 2008
    Thanks for the laughs!!

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
  6. Fudgie

    Fudgie Hatching Queen - Got Fudge?

    OH I needed that today!!!!!!

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
  7. mamaKate

    mamaKate Songster

    Sep 9, 2008
    SE MO
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
  8. baldie

    baldie Songster

    Sep 25, 2008
    Douglas, MA
    Too funny!!!![​IMG]
  9. GaDawg

    GaDawg Songster

    May 16, 2008
    North GA
    Very good!!! [​IMG]

  10. tfpets

    tfpets Mmm, tastes like chicken

    Thank you [​IMG] for a good start to the morning!

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