How the Fight Started....

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by Run-A-Muck Ranch, Apr 21, 2009.

  1. Run-A-Muck Ranch

    Run-A-Muck Ranch Chillin' With My Peeps

    How
    > the Fight Started...
    >
    > ************************************************************
    > One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a
    > cemetery plot as
    > a
    > Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a
    > gift. When she asked
    > him
    > why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the
    > gift I bought you
    > last
    > year!"
    > And that's how the fight started...
    > ************************************************************
    > My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on
    > the TV?" I replied
    > "Dust".
    > And that's how the fight started...
    > ************************************************************
    > A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
    > She is not
    > happy
    > with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel
    > horrible; I look
    > old, fat
    > and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
    > compliment."
    > The husband replies, "Your eyesight's darn near
    > perfect."
    > And that's how the fight started...
    > ************************************************************
    > My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
    > anniversary.
    > She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to
    > 200 in about 3
    > seconds."
    > I bought her a scale.
    > And that's how the fight started...
    > ************************************************************
    > I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our
    > anniversary?"
    > It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
    > appreciation.
    > "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
    > she said.
    > So I replied, "How about the kitchen?"
    > And that's when the fight started...
    > ************************************************************
    > My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
    > while we were
    > in
    > bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have
    > sex?"
    > "No," she
    > answered.
    > I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
    > She didn't even look at me this time, simply said,
    > "Yes."
    > So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a
    > friend."
    > And that's when the fight started....
    > ************************************************************
    > When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
    > her someplace
    > expensive. So, I took her to a gas station.
    > And that's when the fight started....
    > ************************************************************
    > I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light
    > for $14.95.
    > Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I
    > told her the beer
    > would
    > make her look better at night than the cold cream.
    > And that's when the fight started....
    > ************************************************************
    > My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
    > reunion, and I
    > kept
    > staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat
    > alone at
    > a
    > nearby
    > table.
    > My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
    > "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old
    > girlfriend. I understand she took to
    > drinking
    > right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear
    > she hasn't been
    > sober since."
    > "My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a
    > person could go on
    > celebrating
    > that long?"
    > And that's when the fight started....
    > **************************************************************
    > I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were
    > alongside the road
    > and
    > slowly the other driver got out of his car.
    > You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and
    > little things
    > just
    > seem funny?
    > Yeah, well I couldn't believe it. He was a DWARF!
    > He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
    > "I AM NOT
    > HAPPY!"
    > So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which
    > one are you?"
    > And that's when the fight
    > started...
    > ************************************************************
    > I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
    > reason, took my
    > order
    > first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,
    > please."
    > He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad
    > cow?"
    > "Nah, she can order for herself."
    > And that's when the fight
    > started...
     
  2. Schultz

    Schultz CluckN'Crow Farm

    3,837
    13
    221
    Aug 5, 2008
    Indianapolis
    [​IMG]
     
  3. SpringChickens

    SpringChickens Chillin' With My Peeps

    Feb 1, 2009
    College Station, Tx
    Those were great!! Thanks!
     
  4. Imp

    Imp All things share the same breath- Chief Seattle

    Very Funny [​IMG]

    Imp
     
  5. Year of the Rooster

    Year of the Rooster Sebright Savvy

    6,076
    20
    263
    Jun 27, 2008
    West Central Ohio
    [​IMG]
     
  6. eaganchickens

    eaganchickens Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 21, 2008
    Eagan,MN
    LOL! [​IMG]
     
  7. n-da-woods

    n-da-woods Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 18, 2009
    North Carolina
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  8. cariboujaguar

    cariboujaguar Chillin' With My Peeps

    494
    0
    129
    Feb 14, 2009
    Mississippi
    hahah kind of like 'here's your sign!' yesterday I walked down to the bottom field to see my husband and said "Oh, did you mow the path?" as I admired the neat short grass on our trail down to the field. He very eriously said "nope, that's a new kind of grass that grows short like that" lol
     

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