How well do you communicate with your child's teachers?*UPDATED*

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by tabsmonsters, Feb 10, 2009.

  1. tabsmonsters

    tabsmonsters Chillin' With My Peeps

    723
    0
    161
    Apr 27, 2007
    Laclede County, MO
    We got midterm grades yesterday for our kids. Oldest DS, he is in 5th grade, has almost all C's and one F. He has brought home two tests that he failed and I called the teacher about those. She didn't mention to me that he has failed several assignments before that. He has had an issue with some of the "football players" bullying him at recess and the school is well aware of that.

    When I called her about the tests last week, I asked her if he was having any problems in class, does he need to do extra work at home and she didn't say ONE WORD about his grades or that anything was amiss. He might bring home homework once every couple of weeks since he gets it done at school. I can't help him at home if he doesn't bring work home to do or if she doesn't give him stuff to bring home. What bothers me is that he had much better grades at the end of 1st semester that ended before Christmas break. How do they bottom out so fast in less than 2 months?

    I am frustrated in what I feel is a lack of communication on her part and it doesn't feel like she cares if he succeeds. Am I being too unrealistic in what I expect from her? What are realistic expectations? We scheduled a conference with her tomorrow to discuss this. We did tell DS that even if he completes his work in class, he needs to bring it home so we can go over it with him before he turns it in.

    I am at a loss as to what to do. I feel I need to do something, but unsure as to what. He has been behaving so unlike himself since school started up after the break and I don't know if it's his age, if it was the kids at school or what.

    Last week I spoke to the counselor and found out that several other parents complained about problems from the same kids that were bullying DS. The teachers have been watching those kids hoping to catch them in the act, but my DS told me the kids have slacked off because they know the teachers are paying attention.

    I am just very worried for my son and I feel as if I am missing something important. Ask away if I didn't provide enough info.


    *UPDATE*

    I first want to say that I was upset when I posted this and very worried about more than just his grades and his teacher. I guess I expected from her what previous teachers were able to do, which was give me a heads up about abnormal behavior. I met with her today and shared my concerns. We had a very good visit and I feel I got a lot accomplished and misunderstandings lined out. He will be bringing home is work each day so I can go over it with him before he turns it in. I really appreciate your posts on this matter. I didn't mean to step on any toes. I had expectations and I was trying to get feedback on whether or not they were too high. I should have made that clear in my first post but I simply wasn't thinking as clearly as I should have been. It has been a rough week in more ways than one. Thank you and I hope I don't come off as an idiot!
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2009
  2. Poison Ivy

    Poison Ivy Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 2, 2007
    Naples, Florida
    I would call the school and talk to the principal and tell them the problems your having with the teacher and the lack of communication. My sons school sends a paper home that I have to sign if he gets a low grade on a test. They are not allowed back in class until the paper is turned in. I once had to go back home get the paper and bring it back to the school so he could get into the class room. Maybe you could get several of the other parents together to have a meeting with the school on this. Plus if your DS is being bullied that needs to stop and the school needs to step in today.
     
  3. tabsmonsters

    tabsmonsters Chillin' With My Peeps

    723
    0
    161
    Apr 27, 2007
    Laclede County, MO
    Quote:If he fails a test, he has to have it signed. For the first one, I knew about that and it was my fault because he missed school the day they were studying for it. When the second one came home, that is when I called the teacher. On regular work he brings home, if he did bad on it, she hardly ever puts "redo" on it. I would think that if she see his grades are going downhill, a little note in their planner wouldn't be out of line or even an email.

    As for the bullying, the school is aware of it but as far as I know, they are just watching the kids so they can catch them in the act. My opinion is if there are several parents complaining about the same group of kids, shouldn't a note go home to their parents informing them of this so they can correct it? I try to put myself in their place. If my child was being a bully and several complaints have been made, I would want to know so I can discipline my child accordingly. I think they are waiting for one of the teachers to actually see it happening before they act any further.
     
  4. WriterofWords

    WriterofWords Has Fainting Chickens

    13,212
    26
    313
    Dec 25, 2007
    Chaparral, New Mexico
    Forget it
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2009
  5. tabsmonsters

    tabsmonsters Chillin' With My Peeps

    723
    0
    161
    Apr 27, 2007
    Laclede County, MO
    Quote:Maybe you would rather just PM me with it? Good, bad or ugly.
     
  6. Poison Ivy

    Poison Ivy Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 2, 2007
    Naples, Florida
    My son was bullied last year bad he didn't say anything for a long time. Finally he broke down and said something about it to my mom. I was very upset because other kids had heard the kid threaten my son and they never said a thing to anyone. I called the school and told them if it wasn't taken care of that day that I was going to the police and making a complaint. The kid threaten to get a gun and put it to my son's head and pull the trigger! The principal was shocked and it was taken care of a few minutes later. Kid is no longer attending the school now. I think the school should pull the kids and and let them know they are being watched. They need to put a stop to it before a kid gets hurt. Then what kids likes to go to school everyday worrying about if today is the day I get beat up or called all kinds of nasty things.
    But the teacher should be sending notes home to let you know if homework is being turned in, tests being failed etc.... I would talk to the principal and set up a meeting. Have you talked to any of the other parents? Do they have a way to check what home work is due online? Maybe call the teacher today and let her know you need to talk to her. Then let her know you want her to keep you up to date daily on your DS.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2009
  7. Wildsky

    Wildsky Wild Egg!

    11,973
    12
    313
    Oct 13, 2007
    California
    Sorry for the issues you're having.

    I'm so glad our schools are so tiny and there is no bullying going on here, the kids all help each other, there is one boy that tried to bully - and the sheriff went to have a chat with him, that stopped real fast.

    So sad.

    Here in our little town, the high school kids often go to the elementary school to help the younger kids with projects, or go with them to the library to help pick out books. My pre-schooler comes home with things she's made with a high school boy or girl. It builds good relationships.
     
  8. tabsmonsters

    tabsmonsters Chillin' With My Peeps

    723
    0
    161
    Apr 27, 2007
    Laclede County, MO
    Quote:I don't think it has gotten that far with threats. Its mostly ganging up on him during recess. We have a meeting set up with the teacher tomorrow afternoon about his grades. He has a planner he brings home each day with his work for a specific day. If it is circled he brings it home. Depending on what we find out tomorrow, we may talk to the principle.
    I am glad the situation has been resolved for your son! It is very scary seeing your child in so much misery.
    Thanks!
     
  9. TaLani

    TaLani ~ Gemini Chick ~

    Oct 2, 2008
    Bryson City, NC
    Oh do I feel your pain. Sorry to hear that you're having issues with bullying, not had that prob yet. My daughter is in the 3rd grade and up until very recently she had two teachers - they split up the subjects between the 2 teachers. Her grades with one teacher were A's & B's, but with the 2nd teacher they were B's, C's & even an F in Math. Granted math was never my strong subject either, but to send home a progress report with no explanation re the F is so totally unacceptable to me.

    Our school uses a planner that they have the kids write down their homewk on each day (kinda like a DayTimer) & the teacher circles their behavior according to a particular color. Our school has always preached the fact to communicate with the planner. Well, I tried that -several times w/o success re the F! I even wrote down that I wanted a conference on the progress rpt re the F & never heard back from anyone. I finally resorted to talking to her other teacher & then recently they switched the kids to just one teacher. Don't know if a lot of parents were complaing due to falling grades or what as to why they changed to the kids only having one teacher. Thank goodness we got the teacher that responds to us!

    At the beginning of ea school yr I always try to meet the teacher & ask for their ph numbers & email addresses, but I don't always get them. For her current teacher, I now have her home number. I've told her my probs with the other teacher & asked her to give her extra homewk to to improve her grade if she needs it & to call me asap if she sees that she needs to practice more in a particular subject. Her current teacher has told me that if she doesn't turn in even one paper it can affect her grade dramatically since it counts as a zero. I guess I just never realized that one paper could bring a grade up so much from an F to a C or D.

    Maybe it was just this particular teacher, idk, but the planner thing didn't work re needing feedback re the F. I've learned to definitely get their ph #'s, schedule conferences & don't be afraid to talk directly to the principal. Hope my long ramblings helped ya at least a little bit. [​IMG] TaLani
     
  10. tabsmonsters

    tabsmonsters Chillin' With My Peeps

    723
    0
    161
    Apr 27, 2007
    Laclede County, MO
    Quote:My kids attend a small school. Elementary, middle and high are all in the same building. I believe part of the problem is that my kids are "new" so to speak. We will have been here for 3 years this summer and all these kids grew up around each other. I witnessed this when I was in school and we moved around every couple of years. I am hoping when we move this summer, things will be better at a bigger school with children that have the same background. I wish all schools were like yours!
     

BackYard Chickens is proudly sponsored by