This is more pain on top of more pain. Husband has decided against any more kids. His reason.. he doesn't want to be raising kids in his 50's. Our history: Been together since the age of 17. Had a daughter at the age of 20. Lost her in a car accident when she was 7. We have my son who survived the car accident at the age of 2- he is 9. Have second daughter age 5. Lost our third daughter in october due to placental abruption and preeclampsia that resulted in a stillbirth. I was 8.5 months pregnant. We had planned on one more child before we turned 35, and we were both agreed we would be done. Insanely horrible, Olivia died. Apparently that counts for him and he is done. I would never create a child that was not wanted by both parents. But this is speaking other volumes for me: 1) He wants the kids gone, gone gone and is happy to have his own life. For me, I view them as a lifelong commitment and that entertains the possibility of caring for them after age 18, through college. 2) He made plans and is switching midstream. UP UNTIL NOW he has wanted more kids. Don;t flame me with such deep cliche's as "When it comes to kids, the No always wins" or "You will trap him and that's unfair." or "you married your husband, not future kids, so he comes first." HEARD IT ALL, been there. The point is, this was a lifelong goal that UP UNTIL RECENTLY we have agreed on. I made it clear that if this was the path he wanted, it was up to him to get a vasectomy. i've dealt with birth control and pills for 17 years now, it's his turn if he wants it permanent. Of course, he balks at the idea of having his precious bag touched. I know people grow different at they grow old, and it;s clear we want different things. I want a farm (which I have, and am supporting) with a passel of kids, animals, and a modest lifestyle. He wants a big clean house , 2 kids, with an immaculate garage with luxury cars and engineering projects. He would be beyond thrilled if the animals all disappeared. He hates the hair, hay and poop. What pisses me off is that he waits until I am 34 to tell me this. I am not asking for wonderful snarky bits by anti-child people about why reproduction is Bad. Nor do I need to hear, "you have two kids, why not be grateful?" If you think you have something rare and gemlike in your anti-birth brain that I haven't heard, save it. I guarantee you I have already told it to myself and read it somewhere. I WOULD like to hear from women who have ended up in a committed relationship only to have the guy change plans midstream on this issue. I know I am breaching this angrily and defensively, I can't think of any other way to, sadly.