Husband is cheep cheep

[Ninjasquirrel]

Did you tell him that? If his mom complains about it, I would think that that could put an end to it.

I can take my recycle stuff away only once a month, so I have it in big bags in the basement, out of sight and out of the way.

His mother told HIM that. She said and I quote: "If your garbage is stinky dont bring it over until trash day. It stunk up the can so badly I had to use ammonia and bleach to get the smell out" then he proceeded to tell her why you should NEVER mix those two chemicals

 

[twouglyducks]

The difference is that he works at the steel mill. Their home is on his way home from work and he cant take the garbage to work with him because of the mill rules. This means he has to come home, get the garbage and then drive halfway back to work to his parents house to drop it off. Then get talked at for 2 hours. So not home officially until 6 pm. While thats not advantageous for him its worse for me because I need his help at home. The whole thing is a catch 22

Can he take it before work? Maybe they're still in bed and that avoids the whole thing altogether.

Family stuff is tricky.

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

Can he take it before work? Maybe they're still in bed and that avoids the whole thing altogether.

Family stuff is tricky.

He's too lazy to get up early enough in the morning to do that. Either that or hes still half asleep and forgets about it. The easiest solution is for us to just get our own garbage pickup. I'm hoping when he takes the garbage today he sees how annoying it is. Part of me was thinking intentionally keep stinking up his parents can so we get banned from their trash

 

[BirdsBeesTrees]

Men do good with trades... I'll be married 20 years next month and we were together for a year before we got married, and trust me "TRADES".
Like I'm going to start a trash pickup account so they'll pick up our trash and I'll do "whatever he wants" as a trade.
Say it with a smile and sweet words, tell him how hard he works and how proud of him you are that he cares so much for you and how happy you'd could be if you could have trash pick up.

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

Men do good with trades... I'll be married 20 years next month and we were together for a year before we got married, and trust me "TRADES".
Like I'm going to start a trash pickup account so they'll pick up our trash and I'll do "whatever he wants" as a trade.
Say it with a smile and sweet words, tell him how hard he works and how proud of him you are that he cares so much for you and how happy you'd could be if you could have trash pick up.

This is sound advice. Although I'm not sure what I could trade. I pretty much do everything around here: the garden, chicken chores, cooking, cleaning, laundry. Maybe I could say I'll clean the litter box every day if we had garbage pickup? I had to buy a litter genie when we moved in together because I had no place to put the cat mess. I guess I'm just too accomodating

 

[BirdsBeesTrees]

This is sound advice. Although I'm not sure what I could trade. I pretty much do everything around here: the garden, chicken chores, cooking, cleaning, laundry. Maybe I could say I'll clean the litter box every day if we had garbage pickup? I had to buy a litter genie when we moved in together because I had no place to put the cat mess. I guess I'm just too accomodating

I do that stuff too, and have kids. Trust me there's always something men would want.
Maybe ask him if there's anything he would want, or help with, and then propose the trade.
10-15 minute back rubs or foot rubs work too as a bargaining chip.

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

I do that stuff too, and have kids. Trust me there's always something men would want.
Maybe ask him if there's anything he would want, or help with, and then propose the trade.

He never seems to know what he wants and I've always had to interpret it. He could be working on something and I'll ask if he needs help but he always says "I'm not a good boss so idk". Basically I have to just hang around until I see something that needs done. Hes a pain to shop for at christmas because he doesnt know what he'd like as a gift. Basically if I asked him what he would like as a trade he'd more than likely shrug and say he doesnt need anything. I will try and ask though. Maybe he'll surprise me

 

[BirdsBeesTrees]

He never seems to know what he wants and I've always had to interpret it. He could be working on something and I'll ask if he needs help but he always says "I'm not a good boss so idk". Basically I have to just hang around until I see something that needs done. Hes a pain to shop for at christmas because he doesnt know what he'd like as a gift. Basically if I asked him what he would like as a trade he'd more than likely shrug and say he doesnt need anything. I will try and ask though. Maybe he'll surprise me

10-15 minute back rubs or foot rubs work too as a bargaining chip.

 

[Cluckerdoodle]

If all else fails, you will need to have a loving sit down talk with him about this. You will need to let him know how important this is to you. Let him know just how much this emotionally affects you. Tell him that you need his help and understanding in this. It could be stressful for you to do this but you do seem to need to have this issue resolved. And of course reaffirm your love for him.

 

[WIchickMama]

Agree with all of the above--bargaining works here and also approaching the subject when I am not already trying to do 50 things and at my wits end ALWAYS makes for a better conversation here. I work from home, do the housework and run the kids while he works out of the home. I just reiterate all the great things he does and then explain sweetly how "insert thing wanted/needed" will make my life easier while trying to juggle everything else. Usually works. If not, I just bring it up again in a couple weeks, eventually he caves.