HUSBAND vs.WIFE-Can you really complain??

[sonew123]

I read a thread this morning and it made me think... Do I have a right to complain about anything? DO I have a right be get mad at DH for not helping as much as I think he should. Then I started thinking of all the things he does around the house and for our family...Here's my breakdown that shed light and made me feel kinda bad

My Hubs does
ALL plowing-of all 3 driveways-long driveways
ALL dump runs-I put garbage outside front door he takes it from there
ALL wood cutting/stacking ( for the most part)
ALL repairs to house
Built me and bought all my coops
Spends his $ on food and bedding whenever I can't get to store
Loves to create flower gardens all Spring Summer Fall for us
Takes care of all my birds -8 coops-(70+) every morning ( He never wanted more than 4 birds!! and he does complain from time to time

)
He picks them fresh greens and gives treats-plays with them-he'll even heat some up in Winter

He will do dishes ( when in desperate need)
He will cook ( when in desperate need-hes a fabulous cook)
He will vacuum ( when in need)
Never touches laundry haha
Constantly upgrading our property
Spoils our 2 girls ( 16 and 13) rotten with love and such ( They adore him

)
He will grocery shop when I can't ( all though its alot of junkie stuff for himself)
All mowing ( But I will because I enjoy it)
Makes a good living ( we dont share accounts-long story) but if ever I need something It's mine if he has the $
Takes care of his vehicles with maintenance
usually once a month he buys something for me out of nowhere just because

he sits down almost every night to help DD's with math-I do all other homework-math is my weak point he's great with it!
he hates sports-never watches them

he does not go out to bars-only with me or his work crew from time to time
he never talks on phone-unless his buddy calls from another state 1-2x a month?
he is not a computer junkie-only work stuff or things he's looking to buy
Everything he does is geared towards his family-not the most affectionate person ( pda's and such) but we all know he loves us because he shows in small ways and tells us...

Me
I get up at 5am-let girls sleep in until 5:45am
stolk fires ( every morning in outdoor woodburner)
let dogs out-feed/water dogs
make coffee ( which I bring him every morning with a kiss on his head and wake him on my way out the door)
wake my girls up and get them going for school
flip load of laundry
6:30 on button get ready for work myself
take my girls to school ( 2 different schools) every morning by 7am-then shoot to work myself
get done work ( By 3:30-4pm) go grocery shopping and do errands for the house/animals ( usually everday)
I make a good living and cover health insurance and retirement funds-pay ALL household bills and both vehicles ( he pays mortgage)
I take care of ALL the girls needs inside and outside the house-sports-plays-trips etc...
I get home-feed and water and chit chat and check all my birds-collect eggs-lock them in for the night
stolk outdoor woodburner again
let dogs out
cook dinner
one girl vacuum's
one girl does a load of laundry or dishes
I pick up all around the house to put it back in order before he walks in the door
clean up after dinner
put our laundry away
play with dogs
pass out around 8pm and watch a little Tv with family or log into BYC!! My weakness

My life revolves around family first
I take care of my own vehicle maintenance-I can change oil and a tire
I run the bobcat and heavy machinery when he needs help

If I'm leaving anything out it's because we share it-All in all, I don't think I should gripe at all??

his list looks like he does alot and he does.. I appreciate everything he does and I tell him so..

Just one question though?? How is it when he does something like cook-clean or anything domestic....I feel compelled to say THANK YOU a few times??? I never get that? There's my gripe!

How does your list compare?

 

[Avalon1984]

Hubby:
• Makes good money working 60+hrs a week away from home
• Builds me sheds for my chickens, even if it takes a year to complete
• Same as above for horse lean to’s
• Buys groceries 3 out of the 4 times
• Pays the mortgage
• Does all the snow blowing, poop dumping when he is here
• Fixes things around the farm when wify jerryrigs them as they break during the week
• Listens to wify swear about her job and the farm
• Does all my scouting when I find new horses and he incorporates it in his trip
• Makes sure all vehicles are maintained in working condition
• Does all the rototilling
• Does dishes quite often
• When we travel he organizes everything to a T

Wify:
• Makes not so good money working long and boring hours
• Takes care of farm animals; coordinates sales, purchase vet and farrier care for all animals, balances farm loss/income- sometimes it’s more work, sometimes it is ridiculously more work, and sometimes it’s easy
• Plans out all the gardening, harvesting, raising chickens, butchering chickens, etc.
• Does dishes occasionally
• Pays all utilities
• Organizes rental home and agreements
• Does all the night watches when animals are sick, due to give birth etc. (I am just a better night owl  )

I sometimes wish he would help a bit with the coordinating functions of the farm but I am good at it that it is pointless to try and have him do something he is uncomfortable with. We believe in “the best man at the best place”. Each of us does what they can do best so we succeed together.

 

[sonew123]

That's a nice motto! Sounds pretty even steven...my only bonus is my girls have chores.and I don't cave do themm or do nothing you want to to do..it was all mine when they were younger...

 

[Avalon1984]

Quote:
See, I have been telling my husband we really need to teach our horses to clean up after themselves. It is quite a chore, you know, and they are just getting to the age where they need to be on their own

I have always believe that marriage is about give and take. That said, I won't be offended if husband buys me insulated mucking boots for Christmas. I am in fact thrilled. And they are PINK!!! and oh so warm

 

[Yard full o' rocks]

Ok.....working from my home office today so thought I would "chime in" from a Man's Perspective.

There is NO WAY I could afford to pay someone for everything my wife does. She "substitute teaches" occasionally now that our children are teenagers, but from the time the oldest was born until a few years ago, she was a "stay at home mama". Cooked, cleaned, made Dr visits, kept the house up, did the shopping, bathed the kids, etc, etc, etc, etc

I have been the chief "bread winner" if you will, but I could NEVER do what she has done for our family. During a period a few years ago with an unexpected death in the family, she was gone for almost a week. I was playing "stay at home Mom (thank goodness I was in sales) and trying to maintain my job". For you ladies that have the ability to stay home and "multi task" the multi-tasks, my hats off to all of you. By the end of that week I was ready to pull my hair out (what little there is)

I guess that's why the Good Lord made men and women differently....we each have our "jobs" and it seems to me that in most marriages, the partners carry their fair share of the load, only in different ways

Merry Christmas y'all!!

 

[Elite Silkies]

Husband: Works hard long hours and makes decent money
Builds all of my coops and runs (he is working on 7 new ones now)
Builds all of my brooders
Puts all the birds up when it's raining because he knows I hate the the rain

PRICELESS!!
Cleans out my coops because I got really sick over a year ago from my chickens and can't do it anymore
Does all the maintenance on the vehicles
Takes care of the cats
Does all yard work
Does all house repairs and upgrades
Cooks sometimes
Never touches laundry
Never cleans house, but does take the kids everywhere he goes so I can get my chores done PRICELESS! He is a great dad!
His money is my money and my money is my money, HAHA Just kidding!

Me: I do not work, I get student loans
Going to College full time + (16 hrs per semester) for Nursing Degree
Clean the house
Take care of chickens
I do all the laundry
I cook most of the time, unless I'm not feeling well or have tons of school work then he cooks
Well, it looks like my list is shorter, but College is not easy and I have to study all the time!

 

[Avalon1984]

Quote:
How do you teach him to do the chores when it rains? I find myself beign the rain dancer around here

 

[Avalon1984]

Yard full o' rocks :

Ok.....working from my home office today so thought I would "chime in" from a Man's Perspective.

There is NO WAY I could afford to pay someone for everything my wife does. She "substitute teaches" occasionally now that our children are teenagers, but from the time the oldest was born until a few years ago, she was a "stay at home mama". Cooked, cleaned, made Dr visits, kept the house up, did the shopping, bathed the kids, etc, etc, etc, etc

I have been the chief "bread winner" if you will, but I could NEVER do what she has done for our family. During a period a few years ago with an unexpected death in the family, she was gone for almost a week. I was playing "stay at home Mom (thank goodness I was in sales) and trying to maintain my job". For you ladies that have the ability to stay home and "multi task" the multi-tasks, my hats off to all of you. By the end of that week I was ready to pull my hair out (what little there is)

I guess that's why the Good Lord made men and women differently....we each have our "jobs" and it seems to me that in most marriages, the partners carry their fair share of the load, only in different ways

Merry Christmas y'all!!

Aww. That was great, thanks for sharing.​

 

[Elite Silkies]

Quote:
How do you teach him to do the chores when it rains? I find myself beign the rain dancer around here

I will not fry him chicken if he doesn't do it

He loves fried chicken!!

 

[La Mike]

Lol love it. Sounds like ya'll got it worked out.


I have 3 jobs.
take care of all 5 horses.
Take care of all the dogs and critters.
Take care of all the bird farm (she wants nothing to do with

)
I clean house some
I wash dishes
I wash my own hunting clothes.
Take care of all the yard work. She likes to mow ever now and then.
I do 1/2 the grocery shopping.
Take out all the trash (after gettin fussed at sometimes

)
Love my wife more than anything on this planet.
She gets what she wants when she tells me what it is

I do 99% of the cooking.
I take care of all the vehicles.
I listen to her fuss when she just needs to fuss

The wife
She has a good job.
Goes to school.
Does most the laundry.
Does most the house cleaning.
She does 1/2 the grocery shopping and all the other shopping. She likes that part lol
She does all the family stuff. ( Both my kids are grown and I dont like her family )

She does 90% of the fussin.
And is sweetern sugar and meanrn a rattle snake.( And I wouldnt have her any other way)

We have been together for 19 yrs. and share almost everything in life. My wife really doesnt fuss much but when she does that 5'4' little girl can get tough.
I am 1 of those men that got the wonderful graces of finding the 1 woman on the planet that makes his life complete. And wouldnt ever change anything about her.