Some people on here already have read my posts about my friend who is currently going through chemo for breast cancer. I want very much to be a good friend to her, but it is getting very hard. I am trying to just suck it up and plow through, but she is stuck in the anger phase and adamantly refuses to even consider using anything other than anger as a way to manage this crisis. She tells me anger is good and energizing and hopeful and that as long as she stays angry she can focus on fighting her disease. This is all well and good and I hear what she is saying, but the endless anger is leaking out all over those of us who are trying to be her friends. No, I cannot really truly know what you are going through. You're right, I can't. But, I would like to help you through it anyway. No, I am not managing to put my life on hold and turn it upside down and leave my family for five days out of every fourteen to help you, but I will do what I can and probably more. Yes, leaving my family IS a big issue and I do know that I am very lucky to have one. She has very little family and she does not have kids. She doesn't get that me leaving for chunks involves the effort of my kids, my husband and my in-laws. And, besides I really really miss my children and husband if I am away from them. And my garden and my chickens and my dog! She keeps making nasty cracks at me about the decisions I have made in my life. I am pretty sure she is really talking about herself, but I think my life has been quite worthwhile and meaningful, thank you very much, but she flat out told me the other day that my life was meaningless and I had squandered my potential. I am not going to list my resume, but my life has impacted many others so it has great meaning to me. She criticized my career, half of which she seemed to have forgotten I had, she criticized my husband and my family situation. Fortunately she likes my kids! I cannot be her therapist and she refuses to even consider going to one. I believe she is depressed and angry, but how much do I really have to tolerate? At what point is it OK for me to turn the mirror back on her? At what point do I say I am tired and won't help some one who is endlessly berating me?