1. If this is your first time on BYC, we suggest you start with one of these three options:
    Raising Chickens Chicken Coops Join BYC
    Not a member yet? join BYC here & then introduce yourself in our community forum here.

I am so angry I want to scream!!!

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Sugar Sand Farm, Dec 4, 2008.

  1. Sugar Sand Farm

    Sugar Sand Farm Songster

    Apr 24, 2007
    North Florida
    Just got back from my daughters house. She is hysterical. I went with her last week to see an attorney about a hugh problem that she is having with her ex-husband. He took the children a few weeks ago for his visitation and took them to an adult party. He gave my grandchildren ages 7,12 jello shots. He got my grandson (12) drunk. My granddaughter spit it out but his girlfriend made her drink it. Then the SOB calls my daughter in the middle of the night to brag that he got them drunk. He then proceeeded to hang up. She tried all night to get him to answer his phone but he wouldnt. She finally got him the next morning and he just laughed about it. So we started the process of finding an attorney that would help her. We went to three diffferent attornies in our town. It cost her $25.00 each time for consultation fees. That has taken over a month to do. Finally the third one said he could take the case and proceeded to tell her what he could do. He was going to have his visitation changed from overnight to daytime only and that he could not take the children out of town. By the time we got an appointment with this third attorney her ex had taken the kids for Thanksgiving. He took them to Georgia where he is working. We don't know what happened up there but the kids came home very upset. Evidently he told the kids my daughter didnt want them anymore and that when he got them for Christmas they would be moving in with him. He told them not to tel their mother as he would tell her at Christmas. The kids didnt even have a turkey dinner up there. Then last saturday he called and told her to pickup the kids as he had a big fight with his girlfriend and that she had better pick them up now So she went to get them.My granddaughtr told her that Daddy and pushed his girlfriend and that she fell over. Just what two children need to see. A physical fight between these two. Anyway my daughter went to this third attorney and he had us both feeling like the kids would be safe and she wouldn't have to worry about him threatening to take the kids and threatening her. Well today she gets a letter from this attorney that he will take the case but she will have to pay him $1,500 in advance and will be billed $200.00 an hour as he feels this case will be contested. Now she told him that she was unemployed and that her ex was behind in child support even though hes earning 24.00 an hour and working 6 12 hour days a week. He told us that he would make her ex pay for the attorney fees. Now I don't know where to turn shes crying and worrying about this lunatic taking the kids. I called legal aid and was told to call tomorrow as the women I spoke too didnt' know if they would handle a case like this. Just what is a mother to do. She has to be able to protect her children from something like this. We can't help her. We give her all we can now and just do not have the available funds to help her. I am just angry that this attorney had her hopes up that everything would be OK and now its not. Anybody got any ideas as to how she can proceed. I don't. Thanks for listening Micki
  2. sussexgal

    sussexgal Songster

    I'm so sorry about the troubles you are experiencing. Isn't getting minors to drink alcohol 'endangering the welfare of a minor' where the police and the courts can get into play?
  3. rooster-red

    rooster-red Here comes the Rooster

    Jun 10, 2007
    Douglasville GA
    Call DFCS, this is child abuse!
  4. Do you or your daughter belong to a church? They might help with the fees.

    I can't think of a thing here other than that. If i do, i will edit my reply with something.

    What an awful situation to be in. it really stinks. big hugs to the kiddos, your daughter and of course yourself.
  5. Wildsky

    Wildsky Wild Egg!

    Oct 13, 2007
    Quote:Why didn't she just call the police? Thats the first thing I would have done.
  6. bigzio

    bigzio Crowing 11 Years

    Jan 20, 2007
    Sorry to hear about something like this. I agree that the police could help alot without any fees.

    He could wind up in serious trouble here. The local DA would not allow this to be going on, in my opinion. Good Luck.

  7. Chicken Woman

    Chicken Woman Incredible Egg

    Oct 16, 2008
    You can notify him that you are not letting the kids come for christmas because he is abusing them. I would get the kids to a counselor so they can document what he did with the kids. That will indeed help your case.
  8. Chicken Boo

    Chicken Boo Songster

    Jul 16, 2008
    Glenn Dale, MD
    Yes, call the police and child services.


  9. FrChuckW

    FrChuckW Father to all, Dad to none

    Sep 7, 2008
    Louisville, KY
    Okay, first thing to do is put everything down in chronological order, just the facts nothing else, no embellishments.

    Secondly call the local bar association, explain that this is a child custodial/child endangerment/support issue and can they recommend an attorney that will take the case pro-bono. All bar associations have a referral service for their attorneys and usually the first consultation is free. I don't know of a judge, in their right mind, that would allow him future unsupervised visits because of the issue of him getting minor children intoxicated and making a joke of it.

    Thirdly contact the county attorney's office regarding the child support issue. You will need to provide them with the ex's current address, social security #, place of employment and probably a copy of both the divorce decree and Court Ordered Support Documents. They are supposed to enforce Support Orders regardless of where the non-custodial parent lives/works. They can garnish his wages and put him in jail for non-support on Contempt of Court Charges if necessary.

    Fourthly, see if your courts have a child advocate that can appear on behalf of the children in court proceedings.

    Make copies of any documentation and place it in a folder, make sure that they are legible. Include any bills that you have had to pay out of pocket for expenses that he is responsible for paying per court order.

    When he calls, record the date, time, and the basic gist of the conversation. You cannot legally record these conversations without his knowledge, unless you inform him first.

    Unfortunately, non payment of support does not prevent the non custodial parent from having their court appointed visitations until changed by the court.
  10. The Chicken Lady

    The Chicken Lady Moderator Staff Member 10 Years

    Apr 21, 2008
    West Michigan
    Quote:Agreed. It's time to involve the authorities.

BackYard Chickens is proudly sponsored by: