I feel used!!!! :/

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Ema, Jun 27, 2010.

  1. Ema

    Ema Songster

    Jun 4, 2010
    N. Ontario CANADA
    well I should say we, cause it also involves my husband too. Last fall we befriended the parents of one of my kids playmates. they seemed totally upscale and cool and point of views so similar to ours. Everything was going great. We have a lot of similar wants when it comes to our family and our small farms etc... and both having moved up here form big cities we really understood where we were coming from. On several occassions they asked us to watch their 4 children because they had meetings or something important, My three children each have a playmate with 3 of their children so it was like a huge play date each time. The first time they asked it was a meeting they had with a teacher, but 4 hours went by before they showed up to pick up their kids. It was suppossed to be a half hour. My kids go to the same school and meetings or not all teachers are gone from the school at 430 p.m I didn't say anything and they didn't offer an explanation.

    the second time was much the same, they were suppossed to only be gone for about an hour and they were gone 6 they didn't even bring diapers over for their little boy, thankfully my son is the same age as their son, so that was ok. Their older son has ADHD just like mine does too, and sometimes gets super rambunctious and mouthy only 11 years old and trust me it was not a good time.

    anyhow the third and fourth times it was only their youngest one who is not in school but very much the same they were gone for long extended times and later on I found out they had gone back home and took naps because they had stayad up late with the neighbours having a bond fire and drinks...

    Again I just figured they were really needing a break so I said nothing. then about 2 months ago she starts complaining about her boss, she works at a horse ranch. She begins to tell me all these horrible things about her boss and how she treats the horses and how she really does nothing at all and how she mistreats the community volunteers and well you get the point. I was suppossed to bring 2 out of my three kids horse back riding there throughout the summer and she strongly adviced me not to do it, So I listened. Then she tells me she desperately needs to get her barn done because her boss no longer wants her 2 horses boarded there, even though she was paying out of pocket and still working every single day from 8 am to 4 p.m and half of those hours only being volunteer hours. I know a lot of the stuff I discussed with my hubby because I was having a hard time believing some of it but my hubby agreed she wouldn't really be making all this stuff up.

    So she invited us over for dinner and during dinner she and her husband asked us if it would be possible that we could give her a hand rebuilding the roof and building a horse fence. I told her we really couldn't until my barn was done because I had 2 horses of my own who were coming in mid june. She got all excited and said well I have a solution, you guys help me with the barn and then when mine is finished we can all go and help with yours, and you can put your horses here since I have the room. Well every single day for one month after the kids were gone to school we would head over there and work all day long, then we would pick up our kids from school and head back to her place until about 7 at night. Her husband never helped with anything at all. He always had somethign else he had to do or phone calls etc... and each time we saw him he was watchign tv or on the computer. or just plainly at his neighbours drinking beer. When we asked her about it she said his back was hurting. My husband brought over all his tools and backhoe and everything else that was needed, never charged them a single dime not even for gasoline.
    He even went up on her roof which was in great disrepair and fixed it all up for her. I was so afraid my husband was goign to fall through that roof.

    So the work was done about 3 weeks ago, then she asked we help her with her chiken coop because she didn't know what to do. So my husband went and did that too. When it was all done, we told her we were starting to work on our barn that weekend. She told us she couldn't help us that weekend because she was getting her horses and needed to make sure they were settled in. Ok fair enough. Then we didn't hear from her for a week. We called and left messages and they never called us back. We then found out she was taking three of her kids for horse lessons at the very same ranch she adviced us not to go to???? then 2 days ago she messaged me and asked me how the barn was coming along and I told her very slowly because we didn't have any help. then she said, well do what I did, ask a freind to help you and then trade off labour for food, like I did with you guys...really???? she made hot dogs 2x the rest of the time I had to go home cook food and bring it back and most of the time for her children too!!!!!!!!!!!

    Oh she also told me she couldn't take my horses in either like she had agreed. so now I am paying 700 a month to keep them boarded out of town, and I faultered on the original trailering date so they kept the money I paid because they couldn't fill the spots last minute. I am so angry...the worst part is she had the gull to ask my husband to come back to her house and put up a tarp on her back cabin because she had found a spot that was leaking and if he agreed she would do up a BBQ and get some beer. My husband told her ...sorry my back is hurting!!!

    I really thought they were good friends and now I know I was a gullible fool and while I have tried to forget it and get it out of my head I just can't it just keep festering in my head...I am such an idiot!!! my barn is not done, neither is my coop and my husband got called back to work, now I know I did myself in by tryign to be nice all the time for others. And her so called boss who was rude to everyone turns out she is quite nice and says she is really good frineds with her and her family. She also told me she never worked there she was just a volunteer. [​IMG]
  2. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    An old saying comes to mind - burned once, shame on her, burned twice, shame on you. What a rotten person to keep using the kindness of your heart like that. Make her some chocolate exlax brownies.
  3. Ema

    Ema Songster

    Jun 4, 2010
    N. Ontario CANADA
    Quote:bahahahahahahahaha!!! hmm its an idea [​IMG]
  4. heatherindeskies

    heatherindeskies Songster

    May 23, 2010
    SE Minnesota
    can see how you would feel used, but now is the time to call it quits and do not help them again. and they WILL ask at some point, but remind them of the broken agreements.
    sorry you are going through this, but know you are a good person here...just was taken advantage of as we all are at some point.
  5. dntd

    dntd Songster

    Dec 4, 2009
    I wonder if you can go legal on them, they had a verble agreement not unheard of and you b=did your share, they didn't do thiers maybe you could get them on the cost of hired help. horrible people!
  6. chicken_china_mom

    chicken_china_mom Crazy for Cochins

    Apr 24, 2009
    Tab, Indiana
    I am so sorry Ema that you had to learn a lesson about your supposed "friend" the hard way. By chance, did you use any of your materials on her barn? Because if you did, I would bill her for them. Also for yours and your husband's labor. See how she likes those apples. I'd also cut off communication with her completely. She isn't the kind of person you want in your life, she's a leech. And for the record, if I was close enough to you, even with as bad as my back has been hurting after my recent car accident, I'd help you get your barn done. Don't watch her kids anymore, don't even answer the phone. She and her husband are users and you will only get hurt having them in your life. I'm like you, I'm always nice too, and sometimes it just come back to bite me in the butt, but I learn my lessons and I cut the users out of my life. I have a friend that, before I moved down here to the country and I was still living a suburb over from her in the Chicago area, would call me up always asking me to do something for her. Loan her money, watch her kids, etc. But when I would ask? Nope, she was always broke or had no time. ticked me off so bad that I stopped doing anything for her. Period. We're still friends, but she knows I won't tolerate a relationship that isn't reciprical (sp?). Find good people to bring into your life, positive ones, not selfish people like this couple. Seriously, write up a bill and mail it to them and see how they like it. And I'd tell the "boss" just exactly what she had been saying about her. Might be the end of that friendship when she realizes the leech is also a backstabber and twofaced. Might not want her volunteering there anymore either. And I would send my kids riding there, just because you can...Good luck. [​IMG]
  7. chicken_china_mom

    chicken_china_mom Crazy for Cochins

    Apr 24, 2009
    Tab, Indiana
    Quote:My mom used to repeat something similar like that ALL the time when I was growing up because people would try to take advantage of her too. It was "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me". I always abided by that. I hate users.
  8. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    Quote:My mom used to repeat something similar like that ALL the time when I was growing up because people would try to take advantage of her too. It was "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me". I always abided by that. I hate users.

    I hate users too with a passion! I have a hard and steady rule - if I can afford to loan money, I can afford to give it as a gift. If I am repaid, I view it as a return gift. Saves a lot of arguing.
  9. I'd give the owner of that ranch a head's up. It's quite possible that they have NO IDEA what kind of things this woman is saying about them, and you know for a fact that her "thoughts" have cost them customers. You have to wonder how many others she has told this line too... and why... were there limited spots or something? Was she trying to make sure HERS got in no matter what?

    If someone was badmouthing me, and costing me business I'd want to know about it.

    Other than that, cut off all communication. If that's the example they are setting you can pretty well guarantee that their kids will do the same, and if yours are the ones they're hanging with then they'll be the victims. People like that SUCK, but they won't change unless they decide there's something wrong with their behavior... clearly they see nothing wrong... so they're only going to keep using whoever they can get their claws into.

    Oh, and I'd be sure an tell any other parents who have kids their age that they can use as a gateway about the situation... if you save one person from this awful feeling your having now, then it's worth it.
  10. DragonEggs

    DragonEggs Songster

    May 11, 2010
    Borger, TX
    Well, since they obviously aren't really your friends I wouldn't mind giving them a good piece of my mind.

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