I have a huge conflict

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by ridgefire, Jan 25, 2009.

  1. ridgefire

    ridgefire Songster

    Jan 8, 2008
    Northern Michigan
    Ok for those that don't know I work in law enforcement as a dispatcher. Well on today's shift we had a trooper checking back roads. We have had a rash of B&E of camps. So any cars stopped on a dead end road in the middle of no where draws officers attention. So this trooper checked the car and ran the names for me to run through our computer to check warrants and the normal traffic stuff. Well the one name ran was my wife's best friend and the other name was, well not her husband, how's that. She apparently was name dropping me to the trooper. You know the basic hey my best friend works in dispatch, his name is yadda yadda. The trooper was like yeah I know him and your point. She begged the trooper not to tell me she was out there and asked if I was working, well the trooper told her he didn't know who was at the desk right now. In other words he lied to try and keep me from being involved more than the name drop. So he clears and moves on about his day. The trooper stopped at dispatch to talk to me. He was telling me the story about how there was two cars stopped he figured either B&E or drug deal the way the cars were. So he approached and the first car was empty, so he approached the second car and there they were, lets say a bit surprised at the officer knocking on the window. He said he didn't really see anything but neither one had pants on. More than enough info for me.
    Now for the conflict part, normally I never say anything to anyone about what happens at work. I run my wife's friends all the time or I run family members and I never say a word to them when I see them. But because of my wife's friendship with this woman I have become good friends with her husband.

    How do I go about facing them. Should I tell him? If I keep my mouth shut I don't know if I could face seeing her. I am so against cheating on a marriage its not funny. But yet its not my marriage, its not really my place to tell them, or is it? I have never been in such a position before. To where if I never see her again it wouldn't hurt my feelings but I know she will call me when she knows my wife is gone to find out if I know or not.

    Any help?

  2. spookyevilone

    spookyevilone Crazy Quail Lady

    Oct 5, 2008
    I'd confront her and let her know you know, and tell her she has to tell her husband or you're going to have to because you can't in good conscience let it go. It's the honourable thing to do.

    I'm sorry you're stuck in that position. That's an awful place to be.
  3. cluckychick

    cluckychick Songster

    Mar 29, 2008
    South of KCMO
    If it was me...what happens at work stays at work if it has no bearing on my life outside the workplace.

    That's just me, I think this is something you'll have to find the answer for within yourself though. Good Luck with your decision [​IMG]
  4. lockedhearts

    lockedhearts It's All About Chicken Math

    Apr 29, 2007
    Quite honestly she drug you into this when she dropped your name. If it were me in your position, I would first talk it over with my spouse and then maybe decide from there the best position to take.
    It's tough to tell someone their spouse is cheating on them.

  5. ridgefire

    ridgefire Songster

    Jan 8, 2008
    Northern Michigan
    Quote:But see it does have some bearing to my outside life. Normally I would agree 100% what happens at work stays at work.
    But I just dont know if I could out to dinner with them in couple weeks like we are supposed to, and just sit there like nothing ever happened.
  6. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    well..she IS the one who first dropped YOUR name.... and cheating is wrong..period...i know i'd tell MY friend if i knew. (wouldnt you want to know?....AND, i'd be REAL ticked if i later found out that my friend KNEW and did not tell me...)...and again...she was the one that brought you into it..by metioning your name to the officer....
  7. Lmarie

    Lmarie Songster

    Jan 3, 2009
    Way Over Yonder, GA
    If I were the wife, I'd want to know. I would say something to the friend. (Husband)
    Good luck with your decision. [​IMG]

  8. pips&peeps

    pips&peeps There is no "I" in Ameraucana

    Jan 18, 2008
    Newman Lake, WA
    Tell your wife about it and decide as a couple what you are going to do. It will affect you outside of work as you have interactions with these people.

    I wouldn't like it if I knew my husband's best friend was cheating on his wife and messing around in the back woods in a car at that.......

    It would give me an uneasy feeling about them hanging out together.
  9. Wildsky

    Wildsky Wild Egg!

    Oct 13, 2007
    Let me say I have been in your position before, my best friend's boyfriend was cheating on her.
    I told her, it was the right thing to do, and for a long time she was angry with ME TOO.. so just be prepared for that. (my friend married the guy after they sorted it out [​IMG] )

    I would do it again as well, cheating is not fair, and her husband needs to know - but give her the chance to tell him herself first.

  10. digginchicks

    digginchicks Songster

    Jan 15, 2009
    Sullivan, Indiana
    I think you should probably talk it over with your wife and if she gives you the okay to say something you should definatly do so. Why would she say something about knowing you??? That doesnt make much since to me. If she is going to be so dumb bout cheating mabye you could just keep your mouth shut and the husband will find out any ways:D

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